College Football: North Vs South

Date Received: Wed, 28 Apr 1999


GETTING TICKETS
Up North... 5 days before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets.
Down South... 5 months before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets because the all the games have been sold out for months.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
Up North... Students and Teachers are not sure if they are going to the Thursday Night game because they have class on Friday.
Down South... Teachers cancel class on Friday because they are going to the Thursday Night game and they don't want to see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class on Friday.

PARKING
Up North... An hour or two before game time the university opens the campus for game parking.
Down South... On Wednesday and Thursday the RVs sporting their school flags pull into campus and set up for the weekend festivities. The real faithful sometimes start on Tuesday.

GAME DAY
Up North... a few students have parties in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
Down South... every student wakes up has a beer for breakfast and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting Game Day "Live" in hopes of getting in the background and waving to the Mom and Dad back home and to the idiots from up North who wonder why game day never broadcasts from their campus.

TAILGATING
Up North... they think a barbecue is putting raw meat on the grill with a few guys standing around drinking a beer with a lime in it, and listening the local radio station with the back of their truck down.
Down South... the match strikes the grill at sunrise and the barbecued smells of ribs and chicken that have been soaking in Pa's secret sauce for days cover the campus, while you and your closest friends renew friendship and reminisce last years victory over an aged bottle of whiskey and several cases of beer.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM
Up North... you have to ask direction, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it you walk right in with no line.
Down South... no directions needed. Just follow the crowd of cheering fans toward the most amazing stadiums build by man, singing their school fight song like it is gospel,. As you wait in line to get to the gate you hear the the fight songs by both bands battling it out for bragging rights for another 365 days.

CONCESSIONS
Up North...your drinks come in a paper cup filled to the rim with soda.
Down South...your drink comes in a plastic cup sporting the home team's mascot and is only filled 3/4 of the way to ensure enough room for the right mix of whiskey.

WHEN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
Up North... stands are less than half full.
Down South... only a few ticket holders are not in the stadium as 100,000+ fans stand and proudly sing along.

WHEN THE PLAYERS TAKE THE FIELD
Up North... the only ones cheering are the student section and the announcer (and the announcer is paid).
Down South... the fans scream and cheer so loud the stadium roars and a tear comes to the announcer's eyes because he's so proud of his team.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE
Up North... nothing changes.
Down South... the smell of fireworks with a twist of whiskey.

AFTER THE GAME
Up North... the stadium is empty before the game ends.
Down South... the celebration begins with the bragging rights to going to the victor for another 365 days. Fans from both schools share some home cooked ribs and a fine glass of aged whiskey and plan to start all over for the next home game.

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