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Before answering each question, provide a topic heading. Observe standard rules
of grammar. Answer each question in detail. Time limit is 4 hours. Use
additional sheets if necessary.
ART
Repaint the Sistine Chapel, and write an essay on how it affects how the Pope
looks in the morning.
ASTRONOMY
Create a second Big Bang. Discuss the effects of inflation on the new universe,
and predict its fate based on its mass density.
BIOLOGY
Create life. Estimate the difference in present human culture if you life form
had developed 500 million years earlier, paying special attention to its
probably effects on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.
ECONOMICS
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace possible
effects of your plan in the following areas Cubism, the Domatist controversy,
the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects.
Criticize this method, then point out the deficiencies in your criticism.
EDUCATION
There will be no exam, but you will be sent to Arkansas to teach in an
elementary school.
ENGINEERING
The disassembled parts of a high powered rifle have been placed in a small box
on your desk, with an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a
hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take appropriate action and
be prepared to justify your decision.
EPISTEMOLOGY
Take a position for or against truth. Prove your position.
EXTRA CREDIT
Define the universe. Give three examples.
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
GENETICS
Create life, play God, write a thesis and dissertation on the dangers of playing
God. Kill your creature after it mates with your lab partner.
HISTORY
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,
concentrating especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic,
religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be
brief, concise, and specific.
LITERATURE
Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you use and
footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and
the Marx Brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.
MATHEMATICS
Prove rigorously that 1+1=2. Discuss the implications of Godel's Theorem for
the result.
MEDICINE
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of
Scotch. You are to remove your appendix. Describe the procedure; then do it.
Have your work inspected before suturing.
MUSIC
Theory and Musicianship Write an opera in Italian, translate it to German,
perform it in French, and finally, write an essay on why all music publishers
should be shot.
MUSIC
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it using flute and drum.
PERFORMANCE
Play the entire score of Wagner's Symphony Number 7. By yourself.
PHILOSOPHY
Sketch the development of human thought and estimate its significance. Compare
this with the development of another thought.
PHYSICS
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the
impact of the development of math on science.
PHYSICS
Derive a consistent theory of quantum gravity. Discuss its implications for the
Hawking process, gravity waves, and the fate of the universe.
PHYSICS LAB
Build a machine that can travel back in time. Discuss the effects of the
average weak energy condition and the causal ordering postulate on your design.
Travel back in time and kill your mother as an infant. Report at length on the
results.
POLITICAL SCIENCE
There is a red telephone on your desk; start World War III. Describe the
social-political effects, if any.
PSYCHOLOGY
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree
of adjustment, and repressed frustration of each of the following Alexander of
Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation
with quotations from each man's works, making appropriate references. It is not
necessary to translate.
PSYCHOLOGY
Diagnose yourself with a mental deficiency, role play it, acting out all
aggression, go on a killing spree across the Mid-West, and finally, write an
essay about the dangers of false psychiatrists in your life term in prison.
Don't worry, we'll send the degree to your next of kin.
PUBLIC SPEAKING
Two thousand riot-crazed people are storming the classroom. You must calm them
using any ancient language except Greek.
SOCIOLOGY
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world.
Construct an experiment to test your theory.
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