The Absolute Worst Things To Say To A Police Officer:

Date Received: Tue, 12 May 1998


I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

That uniform makes your butt look really big.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops.

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

Hey, you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

Good job! I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad Cop! No Donut!

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

When you smack the crap out of me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder.

I pay your salary!

Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too.

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

Sorry, I can't hear you over the radio. No, I am not turning it down. I love this song.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Yes Mr. Budweiser, I haven't had any officers tonight.

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

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