MEMORANDUM

Due to the increasing federal budget deficit, the following policies have been established regarding employees traveling on official government business.

(Note: this is from a sheet that I photocopied on March 12, 1993, when the Canadian government was in the midst of wholesale cutbacks.)

TRANSPORTATION

Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is the preferred choice. Fluorescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on government business trips. Bus transportation will be used whenever hitchhiking is not possible. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Vancouver, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Montreal, then the meeting will be relocated to Montreal.

LODGING

All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives, friends, or mere acquaintances while on government business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks, roadside rest stops, and parking lots should be used for temporary lodging sites. Bridges and tunnels may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

MEALS

Expenditures for meals will be limited to the absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery chains, such as Loblaws, often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can frequently be consumed in this manner. Travelers should also become familiar with indigenous roots, berries and other protein sources available at their destination. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should seek establishments offering "all you can eat" salad bars. This will be especially cost-effective to employees traveling together, as a single plate can be used to feed an entire group. Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food while on government business. Cans of tuna fish, Spam and Beefaroni can be conveniently consumed at your leisure, without the unnecessary bother of heating or other costly preparations.

ENTERTAINMENT

Entertainment while on travel is strictly discouraged. If such extravagances are required on diplomatic contacts, international visitors should be encouraged to "pick up the tab". Such action will save the taxpayers money and also convince foreign diplomats that we are concerned about spending money on effective government, not on useless frivolities. The hospitality provided to diplomats who visit our facility shall be tasteful, yet cost-effective. In lieu of lavish dinners, a picnic bench will be placed in the rear parking lot near the dumpster and a garden hose will be made available so that liquid refreshments can be provided for our guests.

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