Medical Terminology For The Layman | |
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Date Received: Thu, 16 Apr 1998 ANALLY: occurring yearly ANTIBODY: against everyone ARTERY: the study of fine paintings BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria BANDAGES: The Rolling Stones BARIUM: what you do when CPR fails BENIGN: what you be after you be eight BOTULISM: tendency to make mistakes BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U CAESAREAN SECTION: a district in Rome CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her COLIC: a sheep dog COMA: a punctuation mark CONGENITAL: friendly CORTIZONE: the local courthouse D & C: where Washington is DIARRHEA: journal of daily events DILATE: to live longer ENEMA: not a friend ENTERITIS: a penchant for burglary ER: the things on your head that you hear with FESTER: quicker FIBRILLATE: to tell lies FIBULA: a small lie GENES: blue denim slacks GENITAL: non-Jewish G.I. SERIES: baseball games between teams of soldiers GRIPPE: what you do to a suitcase HANGNAIL: a coathook HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space HERPES: what women do in the Ladies Room HORMONES: what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid ICU: peek-a-boo IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known INPATIENT: tired of waiting INTENSE PAIN: torture in a teepee LABOR PAIN: hurt at work MEDICAL STAFF: a doctor's cane MINOR OPERATION: somebody else's MORBID: a higher offer NITRATE: lower than day rate NODE: was aware of ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move ORGANIC: church musician OUTPATIENT: a person who has fainted PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories PAP SMEAR: fatherhood test PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go PELVIS: cousin of Elvis PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture PLASTER CAST: the drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert POST-OPERATIVE: a mail deliverer PROSTATE: flat on your back PROTEIN: in favour of young people RECOVERY ROOM: place to upholster furniture RECTUM: damn near killed him RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula RHEUMATIC: amorous SALINE: where you go on your boyfriend's boat SCAR: rolled tobacco leaf SECRETION: hiding anything SEIZURE: Roman emperor SEROLOGY: study of English knighthood SURGERY: a reason to get an uninterruptable power supply STERILE SOLUTION: not using the elevator during a fire TABLET: a small table TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport TIBIA: country in North Africa TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak TUMOR: an extra pair URINE: opposite of "you're out" VARICOSE: very close VEIN: conceited |
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