| 1,000,000,000,000 Microphones | 1 Megaphone |
| 1,000,000 bicycles | 2 megacycles |
| 500 millinaries | 1 seminary |
| 2,000 mockingbirds | 2 kilomockingbirds |
| 10 cards | 1 decacards |
| 1/2 lavatory | 1 demijohn |
| 0.000001 fish | 1 microfiche |
| 453.6 graham crackers | 1 pound cake |
| 1,000,000,000,000 pins | 1 terrapin |
| 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 picolos | 1 gigolo |
| 10 rations | 1 decoration |
| 100 rations | 1 C-ration |
| 10 millipedes | 1 centipede |
| 3 1/3 tridents | 1 decadent |
| 5 holocausts | 1 Pentacost |
| 10 monologs | 5 dialogues |
| 5 dialogues | 1 decalogue |
| 2 monograms | 1 diagram |
| 8 nickels | 2 paradigms |
| 2 snake eyes | 1 paradise |
| 2 wharves | 1 paradox |
| Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: | Eskimo Pi |
| 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: | Won ton |
| 1 millionth of a mouthwash: | 1 microscope |
| Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: | 1 bananosecond |
| Weight an evangelist carries with God: | 1 billigram (Billy Graham) |
| Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: | Knot-furlong |
| 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: | 1 lite year |
| 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: | 1 Rod Serling |
| Half of a large intestine: | 1 semicolon |
| 1000 aches: | 1 kilohurtz |
| Basic unit of laryngitis: | 1 hoarsepower |
| Shortest distance between two jokes: | A straight line (think about it for a moment) |
| 453.6 graham crackers: | 1 pound cake |
| 1 million microphones: | 1 megaphone |
| 1 million bicycles: | 2 megacycles |
| 2000 mockingbirds: | two kilomockingbirds (work on it...) |
| 10 cards: | 1 decacards |
| 1 kilogram of falling figs: | 1 Fig Newton |
| 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: | 1 literhosen |
| 1 millionth of a fish: | 1 microfiche |
| 1 trillion pins: | 1 terrapin (a kind of turtle) |
| 10 rations: | 1 decoration |
| 100 rations: | 1 C-ration |
| 2 monograms: | 1 diagram |
| 8 nickels: | 2 paradigms |
| 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: | 1 I.V. League |
| 100 Senators: | Not 1 decision |
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