The Ultimate Measurement Units Conversion Chart

Date Received: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 and November 22, 2000
Reorganized July 5, 2012, to put the Metric jokes first.

1018 Lents1 exalent
1015 cats1 petacat
1012 bulls1 terabull
1012 pins1 terrapin
1021 piccolos1 gigolo
106 bicycles2 megacycles
1012 microphones1 megaphone
1000 aches1 kilohurtz
10 cards1 decacards
10 rations1 decoration
10-1 mates1 decimate
10 millipedes1 centipede
10-3 vanillis1 millivanilli
10-6 mouthwashes1 microscope
10-6 fish1 microfiche
10-9 Morks from Ork1 nano-nanoo
10-12 noses1 piconose
10-18 boys1 attoboy
500 millinaries1 seminary
2,000 mockingbirds2 kilomockingbirds
1/2 lavatory1 demijohn
453.6 graham crackers1 pound cake
100 rations1 C-ration
3 1/3 tridents1 decadent
5 holocausts1 Pentacost
10 monologs5 dialogues
5 dialogues1 decalogue
2 monograms1 diagram
8 nickels2 paradigms
2 snake eyes1 paradise
2 wharves1 paradox
2000 pounds of Chinese soupWon ton
1000 kilograms of falling figs1 Fig Newton
1000 cm3 of wet socks1 literhosen


More Units of Measure

Date Received: Wednesday, November 22, 2000

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter Eskimo Pi
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God 1 billigram (Billy Graham)
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine1 semicolon
Basic unit of laryngitis1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes A straight line (think about it for a moment)
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital 1 I.V. League
100 SenatorsNot 1 decision

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