THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

Date Received: Friday, November 07, 2003


By Elsie Hobbs
  1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
  2. RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
  3. About TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
  4. LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
  5. MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
  6. FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
  7. IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
  8. About the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
  9. About CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
  10. About WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
  11. About STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
  12. About HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times! Don't exaggerate!"
  13. The CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
  14. About ANTICIPATION: Just wait until we get home."
  15. GENETICS: "You're just like your father."
  16. ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
  17. HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
  18. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
  19. MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
  20. About my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
  21. WISDOM: "When you get to my age, you'll understand."
  22. Last but not least, my mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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