Two "Top 10" Lists

Date Received: Friday, February 18, 2000

Top 11 Reasons to Go To Work Naked

  1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
  2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
  3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.
  4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
  5. To stop those creepy guys in marketing from looking down your blouse.
  6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
  7. So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
  8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep 20 of them.
  9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
  10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
  11. No one steals your chair.


Date Received: Monday, March 06, 2000

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble

  1. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.
  2. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
  3. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
  4. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
  5. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
  6. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
  7. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
  8. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."
  9. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
  10. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

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