Pun Dictionary: VZ Entries

A Wake (One-Liners) So, if the after-party's for a guy who's permanently asleep, why is it called awake?	Heart on your Sleeve (Undead) Does an emotional zombie wear his heart on his sleeve?
The World Is Ours (Expressions) The motto of the International Timekeeper's Union is "The world is hours".	Unhygienic (One-Liners) Not greeting Jennifer makes me a dirty boy: Un-hi-Jen-ic.
Uniform (One-Liners) Garments worn by the military and first responders are grown on unifarms.	Unparalleled (Mathematics) My skills at drawing intersecting lines are unparalleled.
Up to Something (Two-Liners) I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.	U-Turn (Animals) Did you hear about the farmer who drove a flock of sheep through town and got a ticket for making a ewe turn?
Vacuous (Tom Swifties) "I feel so... empty," said Tom vacuously.	Vague (Astronomy) When an astronomy problem is not clear, it is Vega.
Vain (Anatomy) A doctor whose best friend is a mirror is said to be vein.	Valence [chemistry] (Tom Swifties) "I will find out how many electrons that atom is sharing," said Tom valiantly.
Valour (One-Liners) When it comes to dangerous fabrics, is discretion the better part of velour?	Vault (Track and Field) How a gymnast leaps over a bank: Vault.
Veer Away (Book Titles) Avoid that Pedestrian!: Vera Way^A	Vegetable (Vegetables) Where do vegetarians eat their dinner? At the vege-table.
Vein-Glow (Tom Swifties) "Now I've got uranium in my bloodstream!" said Tom vaingloriously.	Venetian Blind (Jokes) How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes.
Venezuela (South America) Are orcas, humpbacks and blues found near Venez-whale-a?	Venture [capital] (Tom Swifties) "I invested in a high-tech startup," Tom ventured.
Very (Names) Jokes on my name are not Vera funny at all.	Very Funny (Book Titles) You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny
Vet's Office (Book Titles) I Frighten Your Pets: Yvettes Office	Vicar Caries (Tom Swifties) "I'm clenching my jaw because our local clergyman has a toothache," said Tom vicariously.
Vice Squad (One-Liners) Who else but the vise squad would clamp down on crime?	Victor (Mathematics) He won the race, so they called him the vector.
Victoria Falls (Africa) What happens when Victoria trips? Victoria Falls.	Victory (Book Titles) Winning the Race: Vic Tree
Vinegar (Book Titles) Sour Drinks Make Me Growl: Vinnie Grrr	Viola Player (Book Titles) String Instruments: Viola Player
Violence (Music) Enraged at their poor playing, the conductor attacked the orchestra members with great violins.	Violin (Music) The worst motel I've ever stayed in was called The Fiddle. It was a vile inn.
Viral (One-Liners) I made a meme about the corona virus and it went viral.	Virtual Reality (Book Titles) New Computer Games: Virgil Reality^JG
Virtuous (Tom Swifties) "An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her," said Agatha Christie virtuosically.	Visibly Moved [expression] (Tom Swifties) "A spirit transported me from the couch to the chair," said Tom, visibly moved.
Vitamin C (One-Liners) An important part of a healthy diet of fish is Vitamin Sea.	Volt (Africa) You'll get a charge out of rafting the Volta River.
Von (Toronto) Herbert Vaughan Karajan was a famous conductor of classical music.	Voss Talk (Antarctica) "Miss Voss has a really high, squeaky voice." "Yes, it can sometimes be really painful to hear Miss Vostok."
Wacko (USA) The people in this Texas town are not crazy, just Waco.	Wails (Europe: United Kingdom) The boy cried so much he was called the Prince of Wales.
Walk Through (Two-Liners) I found out that my wife is a ghost. I had my suspicions from the moment she walked through the door.	Walked into a Bar (Expressions) A man walked into a bar and was disqualified from the limbo contest.
Walkie-Talkie (Hot Cross Puns) What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie. When phones first came to Milwaukee, were they called Milwaukee-talkies?	Wall Nut (Plants: Trees) "You must be crazy to build a wall of wood!" "Of course! I'm a walnut!"
Wall Russ (One-Liners) If a drywall contractor named Russ were to choose a mascot for his company, would it be a walrus?	Wall to Wall (Book Titles: Good) Carpet Fitting: Walter Wall^h
Want (Tom Swifties) "I'm very popular with women," said Don wanly.	Want To (Names) "What are you doing?" "I'm not telling!" "I Wanda know what you little monsters are up to!" My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers, but I didn't 1 2.^Pun.me
War and Peace (Book Titles: Good) Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace	War is Hell (Book Titles) I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell
Warden (Toronto) "When can I get out of jail?" "Ask the Warden."	Warn Her Quick (Book Titles) Woman in Danger!: Warner Quick
Warren Berger [US Supreme Court Justice] (Book Titles) Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger³	Wartime Footing (Expressions) We were told to put on army boots to get ourselves on a wartime footing.
Wash Up (Jokes) Why don't pirates bathe before walking the plank? Because they wash up on shore.	Waste of Space (Astronomy) "Orion's Belt is a big waist of space." This is a three-star review.
Waste of Time (One-Liners) Don't try to make a belt with watches, as it will be a waist of time.	Watch Dog (Animals) We called our dog Rolex because she's a watchdog.
Water (Canada) From a geographer parent: "Baby want a dwink of Wawa?"	Watergate (One-Liners) Was President Nixon's favourite 'thirst quencher' Watergatorade?
Wave (Jokes) What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.	Wax Enthusiastic [expression] (Tom Swifties) "Look at my shiny kitchen floor," said Tom, waxing enthusiastic.
Way Back [leaning] (One-Liners) My recliner and I go way back.	Way to Go (Book Titles) Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago^JG
We All Live in a Yellow Submarine [Beatles Song] (Music) One time at the hoagie shop, the actress Ms. O’Hara asked what the tiny pimiento-stuffed thing in my cheddar-bread sandwich was and I had to respond, “Wee olive in a yellow sub, Maureen."	We Know (USA) "You can't fool us! Reno what you're up to!"
Weak (Tom Swifties) "Five cups of tea from one bag is too much," said Tom weakly.	Weak Back (One-Liners) Can anyone remember that chiropractor joke I posted about a week back?
Weakened (Jokes) I woke up on Saturday morning feeling listless, unmotivated and barely able to get out of bed. I was in a weekend condition.	Weapon (One-Liners) If I told jokes with intent to injure, would I be charged with assault with a weapun?
Wear Out (One-Liners) Clothes worn out-of-doors become beat-up and shabby because you wear them out.	Wearing Me Down (Expressions) Said one goose to another: "Supporting the humans' winter coat industry is tiresome. It's wearing me down."
Weatherstripping (One-Liners) When meteorologists want to have a stag (or doe) party, they go to Home Depot to see the weather stripping.	Web [World Wide] (Two-Liners) My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70! Forget this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Wedge (Golf) Golf pranksters deliver sand wedgies.	Weekly (Tom Swifties) "I fall ill every Tuesday," said Tom weakly.
Weight Training (One-Liners) Learning patience will make you stronger because it's wait training.	Welcome to the Jungle (One-Liners) Psychiatrists have a favourite Guns N Roses song: Welcome to the Jung-le.
Weld (Physical) In Geography Shop class we learned how to Veldt metal together.	Well Land (Canada) The opposite of Sickland is Welland.
Well Read (Expressions) Too much reading and not enough sunscreen while sunbathing makes you, well, red.	We'll Shake [hands] and Make Up (Book Titles) Promises for Peace: Will Shake and Mae Kupp^A
Well, Well, Well (One-Liners) While pondering the sight of three watering holes in the ground, I said "Well, well, well."	Well-Balanced (Jokes) Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!
Well-Grounded (Tom Swifties) "Lightning rods can protect water supplies," said Tom, displaying well-grounded knowledge.^OK	Wells-ly (Toronto) The opposite of Sickly Street is Wellesley Street.
Well-Urned (Tom Swifties) "You've stowed his ashes commendably," was Tom's well-earned compliment.	We're All Nuts (Nuts) Motto of Psychiatric Institute: "Walnuts around here."
Werewolf (Werewolves) What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine? A wash and wear wolf.	We've Got You Covered (Expressions) The motto of the Gravedigger's Union Life Insurance Co. should be "We've got you covered."
Whale (Tom Swifties) "My giant sea creature died," Tom wailed blubberingly.	What (Physics) Watt we need is more power.
What are Melons (Fruits) Watermelons doing here? I told you I wanted oranges!	What Are You Waiting For? (Expressions) Come on, let's go swimming! Water you wading for?
What's (Music) What Bugs Bunny says to Strauss. "Waltz up, doc?"	What's Inside that Counts (Expressions) When my friend ate a calculator, I defended him by saying "He may be strange, but it's what inside him that counts."
Wheat (Mathematics) French number bread is made from huit flour.	When A (Europe: Eastern) Vienna you going to finish this Geography test?
When Did He Do That (Book Titles) That was Quick!: Wendy Dothat^A	When Is (1) (Astronomy) Venus he coming to get us?
When Is (2) (Europe: Italy) Fred is ten minutes late! Venice he going to show up?	Where (Tom Swifties) "Who? What?" asked Tom warily.
Where Do (Music) Hold it right there! Verdi you think you're going?	Where It's At (Misc) Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at.
Whether (Meteorology) I've been debating weather or not to be a meteorologist.	Whimper (Tom Swifties) "I am NOT a fraidy-cat," Tom wimppurred.
Whirlwind of Change (Expressions) An EF3 tornado destroyed the Royal Canadian Mint in Ottawa yesterday, scattering coins over half of the city. The storm has been dubbed "the whirlwind of change".	Whirlwind Romance (Meteorology) Would two tornado chasers get married after a whirlwind romance?
Whisk Her (Animals) The egotistical cat thought that he was so purrfect that when he saw a pretty girl he could whisker away.	Whist (Tom Swifties) "I wish I could remember the name of that card game," said Tom wistfully.
Whistle Blower (One-Liners) If I were to raise the alarm about corruption in the Referee's Union, would that make me a whistle-blower whistleblower?	White Horse (Canada) It wasn't a black stallion, it was a Whitehorse.
White Russian [alcoholic drink] (One-Liners) Does a racist ethnic bar serve only White Russians?	Who Are You (Book Titles) Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe^a
Who Cares (Book Titles) Chinese Apathy: Hu Cares	Who Flung Dung (Book Titles) Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
Who Goes There (Book Titles) Midnight Patrol: Hugo Sair^A	Who Let the Dogs Out (One-Liners) A song that should be played at sci-fi fan-cons is "Dr. Who Let the Dogs Out". Except, they're not dogs… The World Health Organization has declared that you cannot get the Coronavirus from dogs, and there is no longer any reason to quarantine them. W.H.O. let the dogs out!
Whoa (Tom Swifties) "I tried to stop the horse by pulling the cord on the back," was Tom's tale of woe. "Stop that horse!" cried Tom woefully.	Whole (Jokes) Why did Silly Billy quit his job in the doughnut factory? He was tired of the hole business. After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.
Whole Grains (One-Liners) Are doughnuts made from hole grains?	Whole Heart (Tom Swifties) "I passed my electrocardiogram," said Tom wholeheartedly.
Whole-Hearted (Tom Swifties) "I got shot in the chest!" said Tom whole-heartedly.	Wholesales (Two-Liners) Grandpa used to dig holes for wells as a profession. You could say he was well into holesales.
Whore-End (Tom Swifties) "It's Jack the Ripper!" said Tom horrendously.	Who's Sane (Book Titles: Good) Sure, I'm Crazy!: Hussein Anyway
Who's Your Daddy (USA) I'm starting a DNA analysis company for Indiana residents called Hoosier Daddy.	Why (Tom Swifties) "I know all the wherefores," said Tom wisely.
Why Did You Lie? (Misc) "What's your favourite month?" "July." "Why July?" "I didn't lie."	Why it Works (Book Titles) Engineering Instructor: Wyatt Works^JG
Why Me (Book Titles) It's Unfair!: Y. Me	Why Oming (USA) "I have decided to call the process of writing Geography Puns 'Oming'." "Wyoming? ...Oh, never mind!"
Wig Warm (Two-Liners) To keep your hairpiece from freezing, put it in a teepee. That's a great way to keep a wigwam.	Wigwam (Two-Liners) A North American First Nations entrepreneur went to Guam and set up a hairpiece emporium in a large tent. He called it The Wig Guam.
Wikipedia (One-Liners) The primary source of information in the Star Wars universe is Wookiee-pedia.	Wilde [Oscar] (Tom Swifties) "Dorian Gray's by Oscar," said Tom wildly.
Wilderness (Book Titles) Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness^JG	Wilfully (Tom Swifties) "These are all my final wishes," said Tom willfully.^OK
Will (Meat) Veal you get on with it? "I designate you my chief heir," said Tom willingly.	Will He Make It (Book Titles) Fifty Yards to the Outhouse: Willy Makit and Betty Woant
Will My Money Last (Book Titles) Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast^JG	Willpower (Book Titles: Good) Just Say No: Will Power^JG
Wilt[ed] Plant (Book Titles) Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant	Win A Pig (Canada) First prize is a hog! How'd you like to Winnipeg?
Win on a Seven (Book Titles: Good) How to Succeed at Craps: Winona Seven	Win Some (Tom Swifties) "... and lose a few," said Tom winsomely.
Wind (One-Liners) When I first heard about the play "Inherit the Wind", I thought that it was about the genetics of flatulence.	Winds Are (Canada) In a hurricane, the Windsor very strong.
Windshield Wiper (Animals) The best snake to have around a car is a windshield viper.	Windy City (Book Titles) Life in Chicago: Wendy City
Wine (Tom Swifties) "I hate grape beverages," Tom whined with clarity.	Wined (Tom Swifties) "Gin rummy with Brandy's scotched, Bud," whined Sherry wryly.
Winnebago (Book Titles) Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago^b	Winnipeg (Canada) The best place to hear a horse talking is Whinny-peg.
Wisdom [teeth] (Tom Swifties) "This tooth extraction could take for ever," said Tom with infinite wisdom.	Wise (Halifax) It is not a Wyse idea to try crossing a bridge without paying the toll!
Wise Acher (Tom Swifties) "All my knowledge cannot ease my arthritis," said the wiseacre.	Wise Guy (Europe: France) A French smartass is a Oise guy.
Wish Wash (Tom Swifties) "I wish you wouldn't crucify him, but I'm washing my hands of the matter," said Pontius Pilate wishy-washily.	Wishing Well (Expressions) Any hole drilled by oil prospectors is a wishing well.
Wishy-Washy (Jokes) I rubbed a bottle of bath salts, and a genie appeared. "You may have either the best bath ever or the best shower ever. Choose!" He said. "Uhh… uhh…" I said, confused. "Don't be wishee-washee!" said the genie.	Withdrawal (Two-Liners) I'm addicted to having money in my bank account. I suffer from withdrawals.
Without a Trace (Two-Liners) A Mexican magician said he'd disappear on the count of three. Uno. Dos. Poof! Without a tres.	Woe Tide [detergent] (Tom Swifties) "I'll never use that brand of detergent again," said Tom woebetidedly.
Wolf (Jokes) What is the opposite of a wolf in sheep's clothing? A sheep in woolf's clothing.	Wonton (Tom Swifties) "Give me some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
Wood Buyin' (Toronto) A good street for purchasing lumber is Woodbine Ave.	Wooden (One-Liners) Pinocchio wanted to be a star on Broadway, but was criticized for his wooden acting.
Wool Fish (Tom Swifties) "I'm knitting a sweater for my guppy," said Tom wolfishly.	Woolf [Virginia] (Tom Swifties) "Orlando's by Virginia," said Tom wolfishly.
Woolly Jumper [sweater] (Hot Cross Puns) What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A woolly jumper.	Work (Physics) All quark and no play makes physicists a dull lot.
Work Out (Jokes) Why don't more couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.	Working on It (Expressions) I've got a great joke on construction coming, but I'm still working on it.
Workout (Tom Swifties) "This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.	Wormhole (Astronomy) Why did the astrophysicist go digging in the dirt? She was looking for wormholes.
Worse (Europe: Eastern) The Polish Pun Situation went from badda to Warsaw.	Worship (Military) I love you! I'm crazy about you! I warship the ground you walk on! Naval dockyards are holy because they are places of warship.
Worst (Meat) His jokes about sausages are the wurst I've ever heard!	Worst Case (Expressions) Don't you just hate it when you're picking up your bags at the airport and everyone's luggage is better than yours? Worst-case scenario.
Worster (Europe: United Kingdom) An example of bad geography grammar: worse, Worcester, worstest.	Worthless (Tom Swifties) "Algol standards aren't the same without Niklaus on the committee," said Tom wirthlessly.
Would (One-Liners) I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but nothing wood work.	Would He Come (Book Titles) If I Invited Him...: Woody Kum³
Would Stock (Canada) "What could convince you to stock the Amazing Wonder Widget?" "I Woodstock it if I knew it would sell."	Wouldn’t Whistle (One-Liners) I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
Wouldn't You? (Two-Liners) I want to go to the Netherlands. Wooden shoe?	Wrecked Angle (Mathematics) When the triangle got into a serious car crash, it became a rectangle.
Wreckless (Tom Swifties) "I haven't had an accident in ten years," said Tom recklessly.	Wrecks Dale (Toronto) "I named my car Dale and it got run over by a steamroller." "I guess that Rexdale, doesn't it?"
Wrecks Towed (Book Titles: Good) The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad^JG	Wrestlemania (One-Liners) Is the premier athletic event of cattle thieves called Rustlemania?
Wretched (Tom Swifties) "That's the worst oyster I've ever eaten," said Tom retchedly.	Wrote Her (Cars) She wrote me a nice letter, so I rotor back.
Wryly (Tom Swifties) "I like whiskey!" said Tom Riley.	Wyatt Earp (Book Titles) Gunslingers with Gas: Wyatt Urp
X [windows] Claimed (Tom Swifties) "I wrote that window system for MIT," Tom exclaimed.	X-Rated (One-Liners) Ted's radiologist could be a porn star, since she's already X-Ray-Ted.
X-Static (Tom Swifties) "I've declared the variable X so that its value is saved from one procedure invocation to the next," said Tom ecstatically.	Xylophone (Book Titles) Wooden Percussion: Cy L'Phone^A A farmer's favourite percussion instrument is a silo-phone.
Ya Make A (North America) "Did Jamaica cake for dessert?" "No, I made a pie."	Ya Pan (Asia: Japan) "So, oldtimer, how did Japan for gold during the Great Far East gold rush?"
Yabba-Dabba-Doo (Expressions) If Fred Flintstone played video games, would he say "Yabba-dabba-Doom"?	Yahoo (Book Titles) Cheer for Your Team!: E. A. Hoo
Yak (Tom Swifties) "What do you think of the Tibetan ox?" yackety-yakked Tom.	Yam (Tom Swifties) "I hate sweet potatoes," Tom yammered.
Yankee (One-Liners) Pulled weeds become Americans - Yankees.	Yard (Measures) Give weeds an inch and they'll take a yard.
Ye Men (Middle East) Oh come all Yemen to Bethlehem so ye may rejoice.	Yeast (Tom Swifties) "I'm so full, I could blow up," said Tom yeastily.
Yellow (Asia: Korea) The sun in North Korea is not orange, it's Yalu.	Yellow Knife (Canada) "Is that a red knife?" "No, it's a Yellowknife".
Yer Anus (Astronomy) The proctologists' planet is Uranus.	Yes I Can (Expressions) Having an emoji with "Yes!" on it would be motivational because it would be the Yes icon.
Yet He (One-Liners) For years, Sasquatch has been called Bigfoot, Yeti never complains.	Yodel (Book Titles) How to Yodel: O. Lea Leahy^JA
Yoga (Eggs) Egg farmers practice yolka for exercise and relaxation.	Yon (Tom Swifties) "Well, don't bring it hither!" Tom yawned.
Yonge (Toronto) "I'm just not as Yonge as I used to be."	You Be Quick (Book Titles) Turtle Racing: Eubie Quick
You Can (Canada) Fred: "Can I do it?" Ned: "Of course Yukon."	You Can't (Africa) You dented my car! Uganda get away with this!
You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (Expressions) Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.	You Can't Keep a Good Man Down (Cannibals) A tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary and ate him. He was very tender and tasty, yet they were all violently sick afterwards. It shows that you can't keep a good man down.
You Clipped Us (Plants: Trees) Eucalyptus are the only plants named after what they would say if they were pruned.	You Go First (Book Titles: Good) Parachuting: Hugo First
You Have a Friend in Me (Cannibals) Would the Toy Story song "You Have a Friend in Me" be different if it were sung by cannibals?	You Have My Word (Two-Liners) Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.
You Knit (Mathematics) What you do if you have yarn and needles: Unit.	You Know (USA) Don't Juneau what the capital of Alaska is?
You Land the Plane (Book Titles) I Fly Da Plane: Yolanda Plane	You Lose (Book Titles) I Win!: U. Lose
You May (USA) Yuma think that punsters are crazy, but we're not!	You On (Money) If you anger a Chinese Mafia boss, he's likely to "put yuan ice."
You Put Her (Astronomy) Leave my girlfriend alone! Jupiter down this instant!	You Reek (1) (Canada) Fred: "As a geographer, what would you say if I were sprayed by a skunk?" Nell: "Eureka!"
You Reek (2) (Tom Swifties) "Eureka!" said Archimedes to the skunk.	You Silly (Pasta) You and your pasta jokes! Fusilli!
You Trekked (Europe: Netherlands) "I walked 10 km to meet you!" "Wow, Utrecht a long way!"	You Wanna Beer (Book Titles) The Friendly Bartender: Juana Beer^s
You Wanna Lift (Book Titles) The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift^JG	You, Kid (Mathematics) In the movie Casablanca, if Rick had been a mathematician, he could have said "Here's looking at Euclid."
You, Nick (Europe: Germany) When selecting Charles and Nick, the prof said, "You, Charles and Munich."	You'll (1) (Christmas) If you don't behave yourself, yule get coal in your stocking.
You'll (2) (Physics) "I'll help you with quantum field theory if joule help me with thermodynamics."	You'll Be Sorry (Book Titles) Playing with the Christmas Fire: Yule B. Sari^m For Christmas, I got my wife a wrap-around dress with a bee motif. She didn't like it. The sales clerk did warn me of this, when he called it a "Yule bee sari".
Your (Europe: United Kingdom) York kids are d-doing well in speech c-class.	Your Keys [Yorkshire Terrier] (Animals) With what do dog owners lock your doors? Yorkies!
Your Mills (Toronto) My mills are turning a nice profit. How are York Mills doing?	Your Mouth (Canada) "If you can't say anything nice, keep Yarmouth shut!"
You're A Way Off (South America) "The answer is 45, not 2! Uruguay off!"	You're Crazy (Toronto) "When I become Emperor of Toronto, I'll ban sitting!" "York crazy! Nobody will stand for it!"
You're In (Anatomy) When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.	You're On (Anatomy) "Neuron my property! Can't you see the "No Trespassing" sign?"
You're Up (Europe) Geography meets baseball: "Hey, you! Europe next at bat!"	Yucca Tan (North America) If a yucca plant turns brown in the sun, the result could be called a Yucatan.
Yul Brynner (Book Titles: Good) Christmas for Baldies: Yule Brynner	Yule Tide [detergent] (Tom Swifties) "I used lots of detergent in late December," was Tom's yuletide comment.
Zamboni (Skeletons) Skeletons clean the ice with Zambonys. The Undead Hockey League cleans its ice rinks with Zombonis.	Zeno [lighter brand] (Tom Swifties) "I can't zeem to locate our enemy's disposable lighter," said Tom xenophobically.
Zero Fight (Tom Swifties) "Every last one of you is a wimp," said Tom xerophytically. (Pronounce "xerophytically" with first "y" long.)	Zero Graph (Tom Swifties) "The entire map collection has been stolen!" said Tom xerographically.
Zest [brand of soap] (Tom Swifties) "When I swore, my mother made me eat soap," said Tom zestfully.	Zipper (Tom Swifties) "Your fly is undone," was Tom's zippy rejoinder.
Zir Con (Geology) When Fred Zir was swindled of his jewels, it was called the Great Zircon.	Zoo Fight (Tom Swifties) "The baboons are at it again!" was Tom's zoophytic analysis.
Zucchini (Book Titles) Long, Green Vegetables, Vol 2: Sue Keeny