Sat, 4 Apr 1998
Not that ANY of you would ever sleep on the job... but just in case here are
some excuses that you can use.
- "...and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!"
- "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
- "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
- "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
- "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
- "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
- "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"
- "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
- "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."
- "I was working smarter, not harder."
- "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
- "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
- "I'm in the management training program."
- "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
- "It's okay... I'm still billing the client."
- "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"
- "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
- "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"
- "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
- "The coffee machine is broken."
- "The instant data transfer from the computer is working!"
- "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
- "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
- "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
- "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."
- "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
- "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."
- "You don't discriminate against those with Latent Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, DO YOU?!?"
- Never explain, just blink and deny.