Date: Wed, 25 Oct 1995
From: Randall Woodman
Subject: Cat and Dog humor
I usually use these as "taglines" to my signature. Put them on your
web page(s) if you like.
"MEOW"...SPLAT..."RUFF"...SPLAT...(Raining cats & dogs)
"Peeping Tom" - A perverted cat on stilts.
#@$ffwe99fjaljk ... Hey! Get the cat off the keyboard!
A cat is the universe's way of showing us perfection.
A cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin.
A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A cat, the only self-cleaning appliance in the house.
A dog is a dog, but a Cat is a Purrson!
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?
Bathed the cat: took HOURS to get the hair off my tongue
Call my cat?! I just run the can opener...
Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen
CAT ADVICE: Take some time to eat the flowers.
Cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath
Cat Game #6: Fit into the smallest space available.
Cat Problem: "Here kitty kitty!" gets annoying.
Cat Problem: Lee Press-Ons won't cut meat.
CAT RULE #4: Reserve hairballs for shag carpets
Cat Sleeping On Shoulder? That's The Only Way To Wear Fur
Cat \kat'\ n. 1: A dog with an attitude problem
Cat's aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Cat: a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf.
Catastrophe: An award for the cat with the nicest buns
Catholic (n.) - a cat with a drinking problem.
Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves.
Cats are easier to train than kids!
Cats are room-mates. Dogs are kids.
Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know.
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Cats. Earth's most purrfect lifeform.
Cats: God's way of telling you your furniture is too nice
Catscan - a hi-tech device for examining cats.
Catskill Mountains: The land of dead mice.
Choosey cats prefer Microsoft mice, 10 to 1
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. I got him with the mower
Death to fleas that prey upon the lifeblood of my cats!
Do Cheshire cats drink evaporated milk?
Does a radioactive cat have 18 halflives?
Dogs come when called...Cats have answering machines
Dogs think they're human. Cats know they are.
Don't ask me...the cat's in charge around here.
Door: Something a cat wants to be on the other side of.
Either run with the big dogs or stay on the porch
ERROR! KITTY.CAT Virus Scan has exterminated the MOUSE driver
Every dog has his day, but the nights belong to us cats!
Everything I need to know, I learned from my cat.
Felicity: A town inhabited by happy cats.
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
How come our cat runs the house but pays no bills?
Humans: Creatures subservient to cats.
I am in total control, but don't tell my cat.
I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.
I fed some lemon to my cat and now I have a sour puss.
I have a watch cat! Just break in and she'll watch.
I have my cat's permission to use the computer.
I poured spot remover on my dog now he's gone
I understand cats, men are the mystery!
I'm busier than a cat in a Litter Box!!!
I'm the boss. My cat said so!!
If cats and dogs can live together why can't men and women
If Man's Best Friend Is His Dog, That Dog Has A Problem!
If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.
If you underestimate protocol, you've never had a cat
If you would know a man, observe how your cat treats him.
In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats
It took my cat a month to fully train me.
It's 11:00 pm...do you know what your cats are shredding?
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's the cat's house; I just pay the rent.
Kitty Litter: A cat thrown out of a car window.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Managing software engineers is like herding cats.
Mice Crispies: breakfast of champion cats!
Must Go - My attack cat needs his claws filed
My cat has 9 lives, but my frog croaks daily!
My dog thinks he's human.. My cat thinks he's GOD!
Never trust a smiling cat.
Never try to out stubborn a cat.
People don't own cats, cats own people.
PURR if you love cats
Purring....the sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Purring: automatic safety-valve for happiness overflow.
Purrinoia: Fear that the cat is up to something...
The cat is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends.
The cat that ate the ball of yarn....had mittens!
The cat was created when the lion sneezed (Arab myth)
The Cat, ethereal music wreathed in mystery.
The early bird catches the worm...The early worm ..wellll
The mice may have the right but the cat has the claws.
The more I meet people, the better I like my cat.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat!
The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on.
There's more than one way to skin a cat: get a sander.
To a cat, "NO!" means "Not while I'm looking."
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
Two cats are a circus, three a coup, six a revolution
Typos? Blame my cat.
Who knows the mind of a cat?
You can teach an old dog new tricks, under protest.
You're not a real person until you're ignored by a cat.