Welcome to the newest addition to my collection of weird and/or funny stuff. These are some of the twisted tales that I wrote during my time in London Central Secondary School (note that here in Ontario high school goes to Grade 13, though they're phasing it out now) and into my first year undergrad at the University of Western Ontario. They started as a strange competition between myself and two friends in Grade 9 English as to who could write the sickest stories for the creative writing part of the class. It soon became clear that I had the more demented imagination. Why I continuted in this vein for the next six years I'll never know, and I'm sure the long-suffering English teachers at the school won't either. Come to think of it, I don't know why I wasn't called in for a psychological evaluation either, as I'm sure these things could indicate a severely disturbed kid. However, I was a good student, did very well in all my classes and, as far as I know, was generally well-liked by the students in a large number of the various cliques, probably because I was square as a brick and made no bones about it. (The corners have rounded a bit since then, but I'm still fundamentally square...)
So here they are for the world to read, each with a small introduction to place it in context. In what will probably prove to be a futile attempt to dodge copyright infringement, I have changed Smurf to Snuff and Sesame Street to Poppy Street. For some reason I really had it in for those shows. I hope that you enjoy them!
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Send comments to me, Harold Reynolds. I'm interested in your opinions! Trust me, I'm really a normal guy now. Honest.
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