Advice for a Diplomacy Novice
What is this weird game of Diplomacy?
Don't be nervous about seeking advice.
The goal of the game is supremacy.
The fear of betrayal donates the spice.
You should speak gently, like the summer breeze.
Be the rock of calm in the sea of storm.
Promote your plans with the greatest of ease,
And must pretend honesty is the norm.
The others will be busy with their schemes,
Weaving webs with the intent to ensnare.
Exposing white teeth, from which the light gleams,
While eyes, cold as the grave, shine their death stare.
A great player must have both skill and charm
To thwart others' schemes, while dealing them harm.
Diplomacy by the Letters
D is for dagger, it's sharp as a tack.
It's a really fun toy, 'til you're stabbed in the back.
I is for Italy, shaped like a boot.
If you play it for kicks, you're a crazy old coot.
P is for Paris, a city in France.
Germans will take it if given the chance.
L is for Loser; There sometimes are six.
They fall to the winner and his bag of tricks.
O is for Ottoman, it's more than a stool.
It's Joe in the corner, who's nobody's fool.
M is for Mercy. What's that, you say?
It's being too nice; that's not how we play.
A is for Austria, stuck in the middle.
He's needing help big-time: a lot, not a little.
C is for comrade, your ally for life,
But be suspicious when he sharpens his knife.
Y is for You, without whom there's no game.
Once you start playing, you're never the same.
A Game with a Twist
Diplomacy is a game
Where no two outcomes are the same.
Kind of like a game of chess
With seven players under stress.
Pieces scattered all about
Were making grown men scream and shout.
Former allies, glaring death
Cursed their foes with their dying breath.
That's to say, a normal day
In a tourney where Dippers play.
But not all games were routine.
Like this game that I wish you'd seen.
Chance brought us to the table,
All opponents were quite able.
We sat down and had to stare
At the lovely lass who was there.
Bright blue eyes and winsome smile:
I'd sooner trust a crocodile.
Neighbour boys were all smitten,
Asses ready to be bitten.
I, however, wasn't fooled.
From hard lessons, where I'd been schooled.
"You!" I growled, not in a daze.
"Guys, don't believe a word she says!"
Stupid neighbour, early stab,
Seeking SCs that he can grab.
She was ready, and the lout
Saw his charge turn into a rout.
I moved fast to grab my share
Ignoring blandly her cold stare.
(Never miss the chance to gain
At the expense of someone's pain.)
Her blue eyes had hypnotized
Another stooge who was not wise.
"Against them we all must band!"
Said I, not mentioning my plans.
"I am innocent!" she cried.
"Look what HE did to THAT poor guy!"
"Clearly SHE's the greater threat!
"She'll crush you next, it's safe to bet!"
One guy made a grunting noise.
"You two are frauds! Let's get 'em, boys!"
Bitter rivals, instant friends;
It's funny how some games will end.
I fought her and she fought me,
We fought them into history.
Fought with tooth and fought with claw...
It ended in a messy draw.
All the others slouched away,
In quest of beer to end the day.
We stood up. I heard her growl,
"I did want you dead so you'd howl!"
"In my eyes, you're the winner.
Let's go home, I'll make you dinner."
It's a story in my life,
To tie a Dip game with my wife.