Halloween Jokes

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetite!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream

What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo

What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist

How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
He has a big D on his pajamas

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Grandma monster

Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack

Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin

Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula

What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

How did the ghost patch his sheet?
With a pumpkin patch.

What do witches use on their hair?
Scare spray

What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
His other fang.

What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet

What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Tombstones

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones

What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
White Pillowcases

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash

Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away

What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling

Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Because he was coffin

What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay

Where did the vampire open his savings account?
At a blood bank

What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?
Frankenfurters with Ketchup

Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea

What is Transylvania?
Dracula's terror-tory

Where does Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie

What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A blood vessel

How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
By blood vessels.

What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference?
Pumpkin Pi

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A BOO-logna sandwich.

How does the silly witch know what time it is?
She looks at her witch-watch.

What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
An amoeboo!

Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.