Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
What's a haunted chicken?
How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
He has a big D on his pajamas
What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps
What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf
What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
How did the ghost patch his sheet?
With a pumpkin patch.
What do witches use on their hair?
What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
His other fang.
What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet
What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away
What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Because he was coffin
What does a vampire fear most?
Where did the vampire open his savings account?
At a blood bank
What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?
Frankenfurters with Ketchup
Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea
What is Transylvania?
Where does Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie
What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A blood vessel
How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
By blood vessels.
What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference?
Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A BOO-logna sandwich.
How does the silly witch know what time it is?
She looks at her witch-watch.
What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.
What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.
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