Date: Mon, 18 Nov 1996
Oh greats sirs and mams of furball gathering, below is the condensed
version of the cat philosophy handbook
- Life is hard then you nap.
- When in doubt, cop an attitude.
- Never sleep alone, when you can sleep on someone's face.
- Variety is the spice of life.
- On day one ignore humans, on day two annoy them.
- Make your mark in this world, or at least spray in every corner.
- Curiosity has never killed anything, except a few hours.
- As you go out into the world, remember... being placed on a pedestal
is not a priviledge, it is a right.
- The SOLE purpose of humans on earth is to provide, food, shelter,
grooming, warmth, affection, snacks, rubs, scratches, and monetary
support of our wills, whims, needs, fancies, lusts, and desires.
- Any human found not complying to item #9 shall be scratched,
sprayed, bugged, harrased, rubbed, annoyed, awoken, and otherwise
bothered until compliance is attained.