The Mysterious Sumkitty

Date: 2 MAY 97 09:10:11 AST

SUMKITTY by Jasper and Marcus

Sumkitty is a mythical creature, rather like the Australian Bunyip, that causes havoc and confusion when no-one's looking. Sumkitty often visits our house and the houses of our friends... let us give you some examples.

Sumkitty scratches Daddy's feet when he and Mom are making whoopie.

Sumkitty is the one who leaves the enormous whoopsies in the litter box and doesn't cover them up.

Sumkitty hides behind the toilet and then when the human is otherwise occupied, comes out and pats them on the ankle, to see how high humans can jump.

Sumkitty puts teeth marks in Mom's assignments and shreds her graphs.

Sumkitty eats all the kibbles overnight and causes distress to house kitties who then have nothing to eat at 3 am and hence have to ask Mom to put out some more, even if she *is* asleep.

Sumkitty plays with the clean laundry and puts holes in Mom's stockings, usually when she doesn't have a spare pair.

Sumkitty rolls around on the ironing board so that when Daddy irons his business shirt, it is decorated with multi-coloured hairs.

Sumkitty has a cat fit that involves knocking over all the ornaments and pushing all the music off the piano.

Sumkitty sits on the TV remote control and changes channels.

Sumkitty plays with the compost heap and the humans' newly-planted snow peas.

Sumkitty goes through the kitchen bin at night while the household kitties are snoring with Mom and Daddy.

Sumkitty unrolls the toilet paper and runs it through the house. Sumkitty finds the rolls of unopened paper towels and leaves chew marks on them.

Sumkitty leaves toys in Mommy's shoes, hacks up hairballs to step in on dark nights. Sumkitty gets on the top closet shelf and knocks everything down.

Sumkitty chews Mommy's expensive paint brushes. Sumkitty plays Monster Cat and puts his paws through Mommy's dollhouse to knock over the little furniture.

Sumkitty takes a nip of Mommy's morning coffee and leaves 9 Lives tuna floating on the top. Sumkitty sneaks on the back of Mommy's desk chair and chews her hair when she's trying to work.

Sumkitty farts like boiled eggs, kicks litter out of the box, pulls cabinet doors open.

Most importantly, Sumkitty leaves little or no evidence. Forensic profiling has been unable to definitively pinpoint the identity of Sumkitty, but the humans have their suspicions. Beware of Sumkitty!

But it isn't Sumkitty who runs to Mommy when the lightning is scary. It isn't Sumkitty who reaches up to get morning hugs or rolls over to expose fat bellies for rubbing.

It isn't Sumkitty who makes that deep throaty "hmmm?" and kisses her nose when Mommy is feeling low.

It's us-kitties! Because we love our Mom and Daddy heaps!

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