Dog Haiku

Date: Wednesday, April 19, 2000

(Some of these are good, but some are really Haiku in name only... HR)

I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel.	I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be.
Today I sniffed Many dog butts-I celebrate By kissing your face.	I sound the alarm! (Paperboy/Mailman Fiend/Meter Reader/Neighbour's cat) -come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and Wiz on each bush. Hello, Boss - Sniff this and weep	How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug.
My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle	I hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin On your foot - no greater bliss - well, Maybe catching rats	Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do
The cat is not all Bad-she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls	Dig under fence-why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there.
I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.	My owners' mood is Romantic-I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.

 

From Mike ("Mad Dog"), May 30, 2002

My puppy sleeps near I don't have to look around his gas reminds me	Jackies are spazzes Their whole life revolves around THROW THE BALL TO ME!
My dog eats my house My curtains were her dinner Please pass on dessert