Dog Haiku

Date: Wednesday, April 19, 2000

(Some of these are good, but some are really Haiku in name only... HR)

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
(Paperboy/Mailman Fiend/Meter Reader/Neighbour's cat) -come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Boss -
Sniff this and weep
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching rats
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do
The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.


From Mike ("Mad Dog"), May 30, 2002

My puppy sleeps near
I don't have to look around
his gas reminds me
Jackies are spazzes
Their whole life revolves around
My dog eats my house
My curtains were her dinner
Please pass on dessert

This page last updated .