Friend's Dachshund was supposedly a big cat-hater. Was caught in the act one day, relaxing in the grass about three feet from the also snoozing neighbor cat that Heidi was wont to chase.
When Heidi looked around and realized The Master had come out and caught her sleeping on the job, she immediately jumped up and started barking at the top of her lungs, scaring the cat out of two lives. Cat had the most surprised and indignant look on his face...
Same dog, Heidi, was also an inveterate squirrel chaser. You could go out into the yard and say "Squirrel, Heidi! Squirrel!", and she would immediately go to the nearest tree and starting barking up it. Even if there was no sign of a squirrel in that tree. So you tell her, "Wrong tree, Heidi! Wrong tree!", and she'd go find another tree and start barking up it!
Saint Bernard, named Santo Bernardo ("Saint" fer short). Lived on a twenty-acre "horse farm". Used to like to chase the horses and bark at 'em. 'Til one day one horse kicked him about ten feet across the pasture. He still liked to chase horses though. Just from farther away.
Saint also liked to follow his Mom's pickup truck out the long driveway. Mom stopped the truck three times to order him "home", with no luck. Finally she stopped and backed up just enough to knock him down. After that he just stood in the middle of the driveway and watched.
Grandpa's dog 'Blackie' guarded the house, twenty acres, and the junk car crusher's lot next door. Whenever my Great-Aunt Katie came to visit, Blackie would grab the rubber rub-strip on her front bumper and try to drag her car up the driveway. Never did get run over, but really scared any stranger who showed up.
Blackie was raised by my Great-Grandma 'Maude' from her wheel chair when she was very old. Blackie (and his sons) would kill any animal that strayed onto the property, but Blackie (the only one allowed in the house, and the only one WILLING to enter it) was very careful and well behaved indoors.
You could go away for the day and leave a roast on the table and it would all be there when you got back. Feed him ANYthing by hand and he would VERY carefully not touch your fingers with his lips, much less his teeth. After Mom moved back home to take care of aging Grandpa, she brought in two kittens without thinking about Blackie. She just knew the kittens were doomed and would lock them in the bathroom when she had to go out. But, Blackie learned quickly and left the kittens strictly alone indoors or out.
One day Mom had just fed Blackie and one of the kittens decided to go see what in that bowl was so good. Before Mama could catch the kitten to save it from its own curiosity, it trotted up behind Blackie with its tail in the air, passed between Blackie's back legs, along under his belly, between his front legs and stuck its head into the food bowl directly under Blackie's chin WHILE he was eating, and took a mouthful for itself!
Blackie was one startled dawg! But, he just looked on (in shock?) for a minute, long enough for the kitten to take a bite or two, then apparently figured the kitten had gotten its fair taste and gave one big WOOF! that sent the kitten running from the room. And Blackie calmly finished his supper.
Blackie came to the house one day complaing about a pain under his tail. He had his tail clamped down tight and would stick his nose back to check, then yelp and jerk it out again. Mama finally grabbed his tail and pulled it up to find that Blackie had been messing with a nest of yellowjackets and had apparently gotten stung on his behind. Automatically clamping his tail down, he'd trapped the yellowjacket in a tender spot until Mama pulled his tail up and released it.
I've got more, but I'm tired of writing right now. :-) bye! Ed
If you really want a dumb dog story, my dog Dee-O-Gee, is afraid of everything but airplanes. She always barks at airplanes. Her favorite pastime is to sit on our picnic table until one flies by and she can bark, but she is afraid of everything else.
When I was growing up we had a Beagle/Pointer/Jackass mix. (Mostly Jackass). His favorite pastime was running. My Dad would drive to an old deserted dirt road and let Chip out. Chip would then take off across the field after anything. Dad would drive slowly away and honk the horn. Chip would figure out that we were leaving him and chase after the car with his ears flapping in the wind. If Dad hadn't stopped that dog would have ran himself to death. He was too stupid to realize that he was tired. Another time we went camping in the Catskills of NY. My Dad and a friend of his decided to hike up Cathead mountain and they took Chip with them. They got all the way to the top when they heard Chip barking and this god-awful scream from the dog. A kid came up to them and asked them if this was their dog. When my Dad replied in the affermative, the kid proceeds to tell them that Chip had gotten into a fight with a porkupine, and had lost. Dad had to carry this 65 Lb. dog down the mountain. He had quills in his nose, mouth and front paws. The sad thing is that the dog never did learn to not chase things.
Sir, When I was a young adolescent, my Dad had a small chemical coating plant with a considerable machine shop attached. He also had a middle-aged lop-eared, sappy but lovable German Shepherd named Sam for a guard dog. I wondered about this, since the only thing Sam ever seemed to guard was his food dish. I would muck about the place tinkering and just learning about the different machines. Sam was generally flat and placid unless I started a sander or grinder, at which he went ballistic. I don't know whether it was the sound or the sparks but he went nuts. If I turned the tools off, he was just Sam again. Now whenever the door from the outer office opened Sam had to check the person out. On the way, he would run slam into the base of a large bandsaw and knock himself silly. (The bandsaw was always off--I rarely used it and I know shop safety). After he approved the entrant, he'd run back across the plant and slam into the same bandsaw. Maybe plant security is boring enough to need outside stimulus. Even if it is painful. I don't know...
q) --- Other Critters --- (82)
Toads are not toys, or I will not play with toads because the excrete a mild poison that causes me to foam at the mouth like a rabid animal.
My experience comes from my Wire Hair Fox Terrier. Jack likes to play and part of his playing involves throwing bones, rawhide, stones, tomatoes, just about anything and then chasing it. Picking it up. Throwing it again, and again, and again. He acts like no one plays with him. Well, late one evening I was looking out my back door when I saw Jack throwing an old round marrow bone in the yard. He would throw it, chase it. Pounce on it. Then wait, maybe bark at it, then pick it up and run with it and stop and throw it again and continue for a long time. He has done this before.
This particular evening, Jack was having just too much fun. I watched and he threw the bone again and ran to it and barked. He watched it. I watched it. Then the "bone" rolled over and hopped. He grabbed it and ran and then threw it again. I could not get out there fast enough.
By the time Jack was separated from the "bone" and I saw it was a toad, Jack had a white foam coming out of his mouth. Apparently toads excrete a mild poison to keep animals (dogs) from doing just what Jack was doing. The vet said he would be all right, but not to let him drink any water.
Now we have to have someone in the yard with him evenings in the summer to be on toad watch.
John Cummings
Stafford, Virginia, USA
This is in reference to your stupid dogs web page:
I have had dogs all of my life, and though I love them, their stupidity IS one of their most endearing qualities.
My most recent pooch, a weimaraner named Jack like many dogs follows the tried and true dog philosophy of "if you don't understand it, eat it". It was not unusual to see rubber bands, bits of toys, banana peels, paper or eggshells in his poop. One of his favorite foods is sand. One day I was floored when I saw an entire ketchup packet emerge from his rectum intact ("ketchup, anyone?"). For the next few weeks, he would occasionally pass others, and once in a while for variety, a mustard or mayonnaise packet, each and every one intact. To this day, we have no idea where he got them, we didn't have any packeted condiments in the house to our knowledge.
This next one involves more of my own stupidity than that of my dog, but I was only 3 at the time. We had a great mutt named Coco who was the most amazingly fast dog in the world (I could go on and on about her other attributes, which apparently included tracking). One rainy morning after getting my sisters and brother off to school, my mother tried to get Coco into the house so that she could go to her dentist. After several attempts, she gave up and went ahead, leaving the dog outside.
Arriving in the dentist's office, she put me in the corner to play with toys and went back to the examination room. Once in the chair, she casually glanced out the window only to see Coco staring in at her ( =the office was about 2 miles away, and we drove). While my mother was spitting out the cotton wadding out of her mouth, Coco, extremely wet, managed to make it into the entrance as someone was going out and proceeded to immediately check if I was OK("SNIFF SNIFF, Lick!"). I was fine, and thought nothing of my dog showing up unexpectedly at the dentist's office ("Hey, it's Coco! Yaaaaay!").
My mother grabbed Coco and told me to stay put, she'd be right back after she dropped her off at home. While she was gone, a new dental assistant came up to me and asked "Are you the little boy who's here for the root canal?" Not having any idea who I was, I of course said yes. After extensive preparations for my root canal, the dentist told the assistant "Prepare his 2 front teeth, please" As she opened my mouth, I can still remember her saying "But Doctor, he doesn't have any front teeth!"
Moments later my mom came in and the whole thing was straightened out. Who would have thought that it was lucky that I had fallen down some stairs and knocked them out 6 months prior?
I could go on and on, but I'll save the rest for later.
Jim Gough
Sam thinks he's ten feet tall and bulletproof-which is not all that uncommon in terrier crosses. But his "I'm bigger than you and I'll chase you out" attitude led to one of the funniest scenarios I have ever seen. My Uncle brought in his Wolf/German Shepard cross Sierra, for a visit at first Sam thought he could chase her out of the house-the madder and more snarly he got, the harder she tried to make friends with him. He's snapping and snarling till he's foaming at the mouth and Sierra's tail is starting to become lethal. She wasn't the least bit worried he'd hurt her. Well, then we took both dogs out for a potty break, and I brought Sam back in first, he ran straight to the spot sierra had been sitting and discovered something: Sierra was in heat. OHHHH boy. Sam now thinks he's "Da Stud" what the poor little guy didn't realize was that he was missing some important equipment that had been removed a few years ago. He tried so hard. In every spot that he could reach he tried. If he finally got her to lie down so he could reach the right spot, she did one of two things, stand up, or get up and sit down on "that spot". Poor Sam is going ballistic. He can't reach, she won't lie down, and he still hasn't figured out that he's missing something. The next morning, after having spent 20 minutes across the street sniffing and peeing on every single spot that Sierra had been, Dad Said to him "Come on Numb Nuts" Sam just froze and stared at him like "what did you just say?!" so Dad goes "O.K. O.K. No Nuts then!" at which point Sam let out a huge happy sigh, and followed Dad with his tail going like crazy.
Just finished browsing the website. Loved the stupid dogs stories. My puppy (3/4 shih-tzu 1/4 mini. schnauzer) has yet to figure out that there are metal bars under the couch. He will run underneath and all you hear is BONG BONG BONG and he comes out the other side, no worse for wear.
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