| Backup | What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods. |
| Bar Code | Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern. |
| Bit | A wager, as in, "I bit you cain't spit that chaw acrosst the porch longways." |
| Bug | The reason you give for calling in sick. |
| Byte | Whut them flys do; First word in a kiss-off phrase; What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro. |
| Cache | Needed when you run out of food stamps. |
| Chip | Munchies fer the TV; Pasture muffins that you try not to step in. |
| Crash | When you go to Junior's party uninvited. |
| Cursor | What some guys do when they're mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. |
| Digital | The art of counting on your fingers. |
| Digital Control | What yore fingers do on the TV remote. |
| Diskette | Female Disco dancer. |
| Dot Matrix | Ole Dan Matrix's wife. |
| Download | Getting the farwood out of the pickup. |
| Edit | Whut ya did with dessert. |
| Enter | Northern talk fer "y'all c'mon in". |
| Fax | What you lie about to the IRS. |
| Floppy | When you run out of Polygrip. |
| Floppy Disk | Whatcha git from trying to carry too much farwood. |
| Hacker | Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking. |
| Hard Drive | Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. |
| Hardcopy | Picture looked at when selecting tattoos. |
| Internet | Where cafeteria workers put their hair. |
| Keyboard | That thing with hooks to hang your truck keys. |
| LAN | To borrow, as in, "Hey, Delbert! LAN me yore truck." |
| Laptop | Whar the kitty sleeps. |
| Log Off | Don't add no more wood. |
| Log on | Making a wood stove hotter. |
| Mac | Big Bubba's favorite fast food. |
| Main Frame | What holds up the barn ruf. |
| Megahertz | When yer not careful getting the farwood or any time I get offended, someone will; How your head feels after 17 beers. |
| Micro Chip | Whut's left in the munchie bag. |
| Modem | What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall. |
| Monitor | Keeping an eye on the woodstove. |
| Mouse | Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case. |
| Mouse Pad | Where Mickey and Minnie live. |
| Network | Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line; Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line. |
| Online | Where to stay when taking the sobriety test. |
| Packet | What you do to a suitcase or Wal-mart bag afore a trip. |
| Port | Fancy flatlander wine. |
| Prompt | Whut the mail ain't in the winter time. |
| RAM | That thing whut splits the farwood. |
| Random Access Memory | When ya cain't member whut ya paid fer yer rifle when yor wife asks. |
| Reboot | What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff. |
| ROM | Delicious when you mix it with coca cola; Where the pope lives. |
| Screen | Helps keep the skeeters off the porch. |
| SCSI | What you call your week-old underwear. |
| Serial Port | A red wine you drink with breakfast. |
| Software | Them plastic forks and knives. |
| Superconductor | Amtrak's Employee of the year. |
| Terminal | Time to call the undertaker. |
| Window | Place in your truck to hang your guns. |
| Windows | Whut to shut when it's cold outside. |
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