Redneck Computer Terms

A combination of files received on Wed, 16 Apr 1997, Wed, 4 Feb 1998, and Wed, 10 Jun 1998.
Backup What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
Bar Code Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
Bit A wager, as in, "I bit you cain't spit that chaw acrosst the porch longways."
Bug The reason you give for calling in sick
Byte Whut them flys do; First word in a kiss-off phrase;
What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache Needed when you run out of food stamps
Chip Munchies fer the TV; Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Crash When you go to Junior's party uninvited
Cursor What some guys do when they're mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
Digital The art of counting on your fingers
Digital Control What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
Diskette Female Disco dancer
Dot Matrix Ole Dan Matrix's wife
Download Getting the farwood out of the pickup
Edit Whut ya did with dessert
Enter Northern talk fer "y'all c'mon in"
Fax What you lie about to the IRS
Floppy When you run out of Polygrip.
Floppy Disk Whatcha git from trying to carry too much farwood
Hacker Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
Hard Drive Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Hardcopy Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
Internet Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Keyboard That thing with hooks to hang your truck keys.
LAN To borrow, as in, "Hey, Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
Laptop Whar the kitty sleeps
Log Off Don't add no more wood
Log on Making a wood stove hotter
Mac Big Bubba's favorite fast food
Main Frame What holds up the barn ruf
Megahertz When yer not careful getting the farwood or any time I get offended, someone will;
How your head feels after 17 beers
Micro Chip Whut's left in the munchie bag
Modem What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
Montior Keeping an eye on the woodstove
Mouse Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
Mouse Pad Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line; Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
Online Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
Packet What you do to a suitcase or Wal-mart bag afore a trip.
Port Fancy flatlander wine
Prompt Whut the mail ain't in the winter time
RAM That thing whut splits the farwood
Random Access Memory When ya cain't member whut ya paid fer yer rifle when yor wife asks
Reboot What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
ROM Delicious when you mix it with coca cola; Where the pope lives
Screen Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SCSI What you call your week-old underwear
Serial Port A red wine you drink with breakfast
Software Them plastic forks and knives
Superconductor Amtrak's Employee of the year
Terminal Time to call the undertaker
Window Place in your truck to hang your guns
Windows Whut to shut when it's cold outside

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