Dumb Dogs Stories, Part 2

Article: 53200 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: 24 Jan 94
From: carrier
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: Fermi National Accelerator Lab

I am not quite sure if it's stupid but here it goes. Roxy doesn't have a yard, so she never gets put out on a chain unless we are at my buddy's house. He uses a run for his dog so while we are there we use it too.

Last week when it was so cold, we went for a visit to get out of the cabin and let the dogs tire themselves out inside since going out wasn't such a good idea. I put Roxy out on the chain to do her duty. Previously while visiting, we just took her out for a quicky but since it was so cold I didn't want to go out. Anyway, Roxy had to check out this chain. First she sniffed it. It smelled ok. Then she tried to taste it. :^) It was so cold her tongue stuck to it for a couple of seconds. :^) She got her tongue off, looked around to see if anyone saw here being stupid and decided to do it again. Well, her tongue stuck again. The expression on her face was like what the heck is happening here! :^) She has never stuck her tongue on the chain since. But it hasn't been that cold again yet either!

Bob and "my nose gets me in more trouble" Roxy.


Article: 121937 of rec.humor
Date: 25 Jan 1994
From: Mary Burak
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: New Mexico State University

When I was in middle school, we had a dog that wasn't too bright. We took him in the truck to the river about 2 miles from our house and played chase, fetch, etc. He had such a good time, he didn't want to leave, and so he didn't come when we called him. We all got in the truck, and called him again. Still, he wouldn't come. We started up the truck, and pulled out onto the dirt road. That got his attention. He started chasing the truck. After a few seconds, we stopped and told him to get into the back. He couldn't stop fast enough, and passed us. When he came back, he jumped onto the hood of the truck. We told him to jump down, but he looked confused, and just sat there wondering what we wanted. We got back into the truck, and started to drive off really slow. The dog put his butt up against the windshield while he sat. Every time we went around a corner, we could see his butt-hole pucker.
Mary Burak


Article: 14948 of alt.stupidity
Date: Mon, 24 Jan 1994
From: Jamie Bass
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: The University of Chicago Ctenophora Organ

My first dog, named "Tommy," was an odd looking setter/mutt combo and through the years did many, many, *MANY* stupid things (RIP, old friend.)

One of the more amazing things about Tommy was that he ate fruits and vegetables with gusto. Needless to say, these upset his stomach, resulting in massive, smelly farts and liquidy poops. Sometimes as a change of taste he would round off his diet by snarfing a gym sock or two (w/o chewing!)

Then on our late evening walk after the feast he would pass a relatively *intact* banana peel or the sock.

Sigh, it's been over ten years since he passed away and I still miss him...
Jamie Bass - The Ham Sandwich


Article: 14953 of alt.stupidity
Date: Mon, 24 Jan 1994
From: Christopher Troise
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: Morgan Stanley

My co-worker (this has nothing to do with me) used to live in a dorm room with a window overlooking a bush in the front yard. Every now and then this certain dog would come over, walk to the bush, and then back into it. As he backed into it his hindquarters would get lifted into the air (the bush was the strong, thorny type). Soon he (the dog) would have his butt in the bush, two feet in the air, hind legs completely free of the ground. Plop plop, he would go to the bathroom whereupon the turds would stick to the branches and hang like Christmas tree ornaments. The dog would then slowly walk forward and, easing himself off the bush, leave.

My co-worker said that at any one time there would be a few of these things hanging on the branches.

I have no idea where this dog got this idea from. I would like to say that cats are so much smarter, but I actually saw my adorable cat do something so ludicrous involving constipation and a shag carpet that I just can't. Sorry - you'll have to wait for Dumb Cats Stories to hear that one.


Article: 53338 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: 25 Jan 1994
From: Craig Stanley Soboleski
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute

My dog (RIP) "Pounce" had very short legs. Every time he sneezed, he would bang his head on the floor.


Article: 53339 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: 25 Jan 1994
From: Craig Stanley Soboleski
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute

Out jogging with my friend, we noticed a small poodle running across the yard barking, and hoping to catch us. I guess he forgot he was attached to a tree by a rope, so while running full speed after us, the rope stopped him, yanked him up into the air backwards, and caused him to make the most horrible sound ever heard from a dogs mouth. We were laughing so hard, we had to stop running. It was even funnier when the dog got up ad did it again!!


Article: 53341 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: 25 Jan 1994
From: Adam Jenkins
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: CSIRO, Div. Building Constr. and Eng'ing, Melb., Australia

Okay my two bits worth.. our dog once ate an entire bar of soap, and was also silly enough to jump onto a hot barbeque. And a friend's dog used to regularly mistake people for trees, which was kinda embarassing.. btw I saw an ad in the paper the other day for a lost dog.. something along the lines of:

Lost, brown cross-terrier, missing ear, blind in one eye, missing one leg.. Answers to the name "Lucky". I meant to phone up to find out if it was legit or not too :)
-- Adam Jenkins


Article: 53343 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 1994
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
From: Stephen Smith
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: De Montfort University, Leicester, UK

A friend I lived with last year had a hyperactive staffordshire-cross of mind-numbing stupidity. When we were in the down-stairs living- room, rather than let her out the back door we'd open the window and let her come and go. One day my mate was in his upstairs room and it was getting warm, so he opened the window. Immediately the dog jumped out the window, fell two stories and knocked itself silly on the pavement. It wouldn't be so bad, but she tried it again the next week. I wouldn't call her stupid as much as well-trained by you folk. AFter all, you are the ones who taught her that windows are simply doors to the great outdoors.

Further proof of mental incapacity : when she was getting over-excited, we'd get her pulling toy, one of those rubber things shaped like a bow, and start playing with her. When she had got a good grip, we'd hang the other end on a hook behind the door. And there she stayed.

> Stupid is as stupid does.... She sounds pretty well-trained to me! 8-)

Maybe, but she also used to sit for hours staring at shadows on the wall, occasionally trying to lick them off.
- Smitty


Article: 53344 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 1994
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
From: Stephen Smith
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?
Organization: De Montfort University, Leicester, UK

Chris Barnes writes:
The cat was never quite the same again. Sometimes, without warning, he would take off running through the house and crash into a wall. You could even say that part of his brain had been fried. Of course, for 2 teenage boys, this was absolutely hysterical!

I know a guy who'd dog's brain is totally fried. He and his oddball mates were planning an evening on planet Zen, courtesy of some mushroom tea. Without thinking they put the almost empty cups on the floor, and the dog (a whippet) promptly went and lapped up the remains. I don't know the details, but apparantly the dog completely flipped. Ever since she's had an extremely nervous nature, a tendency to stare at inanimate objects, and generally gives the impression of being only half there. That is until you take a trip, when she becomes a normal dog.
- Smitty


Article: 53357 of rec.pets.dogs
Date: 26 Jan 94
From: Holly Stowe
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.pets.dogs
Subject: Re: How Stupid Is Your Dog?

Adam Jenkins writes:
Lost, brown cross-terrier, missing ear, blind in one eye, missing one leg.. Answers to the name "Lucky".

It's not. The version that floated around here also said "neutered". :-)
-Holly

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