Air Head Fired
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Autos killing 110 a day - let's resolve to do better
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Blind woman gets new kidney from daughter she hasn't seen in years
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
British left waffles on Falkland Islands
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
Childs stool great for use in garden
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
Deer Kill 17,000
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Eye drops off shelf
Farmer Bill dies in house
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Iraqi head seeks arms
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Lung cancer in women mushrooms
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Man is fatally slain
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Miners refuse to work after death
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Police Discovered Pot Plants Were Really Cannabis
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Police found safe hidden under bed
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Stud Tires Out
Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
War Dims Hope for Peace
Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995:
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
The Los Angeles Times, November 2
'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking
The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers
The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought
The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete
The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
The Oregonian, January 28
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning
The Buffalo News, February 26
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold
Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer
Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy
Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church's focus is the Bible
Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons
Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person
The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author
Louise Hart
Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams
Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers:
1 Man, 7 Woman Hot Tub -- $850/Offer
Amana Washer $100. Owned By Clean Bachelor Who Seldom Washed
Snow Blower For Sale...Only Used On Snowy Days
Free Puppies...Part German Shepherd/Part Dog
2 Wire Mesh Butchering Gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, Pair: $15
Tickle Me Elmo, Still In Box, Comes With It's Own 1988 Mustang, 5l, Auto, Excellent Condition $6800
Cows, Calves Never Bred... Also 1 Gay Bull For Sale
'83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2000
Star Wars Job Of The Hut -- $15
Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel - 1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog
Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 Years Old. Unpleasant Little Dog
Soft & Genital Bath Tissues Or Facial Tissue - 89 Cents
German Shephard. 85 Lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free
Full Sized Mattress. 20 Yr Warranty. Like New. Slight Urine Smell
Free 1 Can Of Pork & Beans With Purchase Of 3 Br 2 Bth Home
For Sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50
Nordic Track $300 - Hardly Used - Call Chubbie
Bill's Septic Cleaning - "We Haul American Made Products"
Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks
Found: Dirty White Dog...Looks Like A Rat...Been Out Awhile...Better Be Reward
Hummels - Largest Selection Ever - "If It's In Stock, We Have It!"
Get A Little John: The Traveling Urinal - Holds 2 1/2 Bottles Of Beer
Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club
Georgia Peaches - California Grown - 89 Cents Lb.
Nice Parachute - Never Opened - Used Once - Slightly Stained
Free: Farm Kittens. Ready To Eat
American Flag - 60 Stars - Pole Included - $100
Tired Of Working For Only $9.75 Per Hour? We Offer Profit Sharing And Flexible Hours. Starting Pay: $7 - $9 Per Hour
Notice: To Person Or Persons Who Took The Large Pumpkin On Highway 87 Near Southridge Storage. Please Return The Pumpkin And Be Checked. Pumpkin May Be Radioactive. All Other Plants In Vicinity Are Dead
Exercise Equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Spring -$175
Our Sofa Seats The Whole Mob - And It's Made Of 100% Italian Leather
Joining Nudist Colony, Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300
Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember
Ground Beast: 99 Cents Lb.
Gas Cloud Clears Out Taco Bell
Open House - Body Shapers Toning Salon - Free Coffee & Donuts
Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99 Box
Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Man - $2.09 Lb.
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