| "Can't we just be friends?" |
There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of his body touch any part of mine again. |
| "I just need some space." |
without you in it. |
| "Do I look fat in this dress?" |
We haven't had a fight in a while. |
| "No, pizza's fine." |
Cheap bastard! |
| "I just do not want a boyfriend now." |
I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. |
| "I don't know; what do you want to do?" |
I can't believe that you have nothing planned. |
| "Come here." |
My puppy does this too |
| "I like you, but ..." |
I don't like you. |
| "You never listen." |
You never listen. |
| "We're moving too quickly." |
I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend. |
| "I'll be ready in a minute." |
I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will. |
| "Oh, no, I will pay for myself." |
I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch. |
| "Oh YES!!! Right there!" |
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with |
| "I'm just going out with the girls." |
We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends. |
| "There's no one else." |
I am doing your brother. |
| "Size doesn't matter." |
unless I want an orgasm. |
| "I'm hungry." |
I'm hungry. |
| "I'm sleepy." |
I'm sleepy. |
| "I'm tired." |
I'm tired. |
| "I've gotta pee." |
Get out of the way. |
| "I've gotta GO!" |
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears |
| "Can I call you sometime?" |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "Do you want to go to a movie?" |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "Can I take you out to dinner?" |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "Can I get your coat?" |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "Let me get your door." |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "May I have this dance?" |
I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| "Nice dress!" |
Nice Tits! |
| "You look tense, let me give you a massage." |
I want to fondle you. |
| "What's wrong?" |
I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this. |
| "What's wrong?" |
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? |
| "What's wrong?" |
I guess sex tonight is out of the question. |
| "I'm bored." |
Do you want to have sex? |
| "I love you." |
Let's have sex now. |
| "I love you too." |
Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! |
| "Good morning." |
That was great sex......let's have more! |
| "See you later." |
That was great sex......let's have more! |
| "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." |
I liked it better before. |
| "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." |
$50 and it doesn't look that much different! |
| "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." |
For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair! |
| "Let's talk." |
I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. |
| "Will you marry me?" |
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. |
| "Will you marry me?" |
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks" |
| "I'm going fishing" |
I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a
stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." |
| "It's a guy thing" |
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you
have no chance at all of making it logical". |
| "Can I help with dinner?" |
"Why isn't it already on the table?" |
| "Uh huh," "Sure, honey", or "Yes, dear" |
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. |
| "It would take too long to explain" |
"I have no idea how it works." |
| "Take a break honey, you're working too hard." |
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." |
| "That's interesting, dear." |
"Are you still talking?" |
| "You know how bad my memory is." |
"I remember the theme song to 'F. Troop', the address of the
first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." |
| "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." |
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." |
| "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." |
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before
I admit that I'm hurt." |
| "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." |
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." |
| "I can't find it." |
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." |
| "What did I do this time?" |
"What did you catch me at?" |
| "I heard you." |
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't
spend the next 3 days yelling at me." |
| "You know I could never love anyone else." |
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." |
| "You look terrific." |
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." |
| "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." |
"No one will ever see us alive again." |
| "We share the housework." |
"I make the messes, she cleans them up." |
| While shopping: |
| "Yes, that one's nice." |
Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway? |
| "That one looks great on you." |
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! |
| "I like that one better." |
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! |
| "Uh huh." |
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! |
| "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." |
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! |
| "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." |
I am gay. |
| "It makes you look fat." |
I'm really stupid! |