What's your sign? How many of you does it take to change a lightbulb?
Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burned-out one is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
Leo: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
Virgo: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?
Scorpio: That secret information can only be shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.
Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out lightbulb?
Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so.....
Pisces: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
These are from the New York magazine competition. They asked competitors to change one letter in a familiar, non-English phrase and redefine it.
Harlez-vous francais?...Can you drive a French motocycle?
Idios amigos...We're wild and crazy guys.
Veni, VIPi, Vici...I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.
Rigor Morris...The cat is dead.
Posh mortem...Death styles of the rich and famous.
Felix navidad...Our cat has a boat.
Haste cuisine...Fast French food.
Cogito Eggo sum...I think, therefore I am a waffle.
Respondez s'il vous plaid...Honk if you're a Scot.
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