This is a very small subset of Murphy's Laws that was circulating around the internet.
December 1, 2011
- Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
- Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an
appointment, and you'll stay sick.
- Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
- Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
- Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.
- Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
- Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
- Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet or rug.
- Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.
- Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
- Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
- Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who
will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and
who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or
big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people
also are very surly folk.
- Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the clerk will always
have to call for help.
- The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
- Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.