Friday, February 18, 2000
Top 11 Reasons to Go To Work Naked
- Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
- Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
- Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.
- "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
- To stop those creepy guys in marketing from looking down your blouse.
- You want to see if it's like the dream.
- So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
- People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep 20 of them.
- Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
- Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
- No one steals your chair.
Monday, March 06, 2000
Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble
- Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.
- In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
- Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
- When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
- His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
- Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
- You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
- Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."
- Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
- He's wearing his big black hat backwards.