Proudly Canadian

Date Received: Wednesday, December 13, 2000

So, what DOES a Canadian Have to be Proud of, eh?

  1. Smarties
  2. Crispy Crunch
  3. Coffee Crisp
  4. The size of our footballs, fields and one less Down
  5. Lacrosse is Canadian
  6. Hockey is Canadian
  7. Basketball is Canadian
  8. Mr. Dress-up can kick Mr. Rogers' ass
  9. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
  10. In the war of 1812, Canadians pushed the Americans so far back... passed their 'White House', we burned it... and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away so we came home and partied. Go figure.
  11. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
  12. We have the largest English population that never-ever surrendered or withdrew during any war.
  13. Our civil war was a big bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
  14. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing, but showed up just in time to get caught.
  15. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
  16. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest Company.
  17. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
  18. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
  19. We don't marry our kin-folk.
  20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, zambonis, the space arm, insulin, long distance and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
  21. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
  22. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

This page last updated .