Date Received: Thu, 20 Nov 1997
From: Meg Schell
Subject: Career choices (fwd)
I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a fireman, or a sysadmin?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were just made to answer:
Purpose Of Your Career
Astronaut: Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
Fireman: Saving lives and property.
Sysadmin: Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.
Advice You'Ll Give Kids Who Want To Follow In Your Footsteps
Astronaut: "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Fireman: "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Sysadmin: "DON'T DO IT! RUN AWAY!"
Question You'Ll Be Most Tired Of Answering
Astronaut: "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
Fireman: "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
Sysadmin: "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?"
Will You Ever Be On Tv?
Astronaut: Yes!
Fireman: Occasionally.
Sysadmin: Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as TV.
Will Your Job Ever Get Any Easier?
Astronaut: As computers get more and more advanced and able to control more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
Fireman: As more and more people install smoke detectors in their homes, yes.
Sysadmin: As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet, absolutely not.
Inspiring Movie About Your Profession
Astronaut: "The Right Stuff"
Fireman: "Backdraft"
Sysadmin: Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?
Your Work Hours
Astronaut: Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of time between missions to relax.
Fireman: 24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
Sysadmin: Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like "work millennia."
Fringe Benefits Of Your Job
Astronaut: Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Fireman: Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Sysadmin: You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."
Number Of Complaints About Your Profession
Astronaut: A few, from people who think the government should be spending its money in different ways.
Fireman: A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive following a 911 call.
Sysadmin: You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be
able to count them all.
Your Vehicle
Astronaut: Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar rocket.
Fireman: Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
Sysadmin: 1978 AMC Gremlin.
In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in
even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.
Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?