Computer-Related Mistakes

Date Received: 08 Nov 1995

Since I learn almost everything by making mistakes, I thought some of you might avoid a little grief if I listed a few of them:

  1. When you spill coffee on a floppy disk, the drive does notserve as a "spin-dry" cycle.
  2. After hooking a monochrome monitor into a rgb output video card, the firemen make rude comments about not thinking.
  3. You get flamed on an echo if your post to someone started with "Hey look, bonehead".
  4. Liquid spilled into a keyboard never does "dry up" as quickly as you think it should.
  5. The only files you will ever want of an out-of-state bulletin board are files all over 2 megabytes long, in 6 parts.
  6. Locking the keyboard out then losing the key on a Saturday night means no computer until Monday morning.
  7. Setting a password in your CMOS then forgetting it will cause many hours of panicky misery when you reboot.
  8. Most hard disks don't survive falls off of the tabletop.
  9. Printers don't work too well if you forget to plug them into the computer - spent 4 hours learning this maxim.
  10. When you tell a client that a particular piece of equipment doesn't do something, the revised version that does always hits the streets 2 weeks before you say it.
  11. Actually reading the manual only leads to confusion.
  12. While computers now have viruses, floppy disks don't actually get cold sores, that's a cigarette burn on the media.
  13. While you don't want to forget an important diskette for a client, putting it on the refrigerator with a magnet is not a good place.
  14. Never schedule a backup to coincide with a major power failure.
  15. When the lights in the house go very dim, it's because your computer is about to burn up - the same firemen get rude again.
  16. Frequently re-used floppies can get a waxy label build-up.
  17. The larger your hard disk, the more software you will buy.
  18. No matter how fast your modem is, it's slow.
  19. There is no such thing as screen colors that are "easy on the eyes".
  20. Installation is easy, setup is moderately difficult, but tweaking to highest performance takes a lifetime.
  21. The warranty always DOES run out the day before.
  22. When you unpack a new piece of equipment to test it before delivery to a customer, it NEVER fits back into the box like it came out.
  23. If we all spoke Taiwanese, Chinese and Korean, schematics and docs would be easier to understand.
  24. Always, always write down which pins the red and black wires came off of when you took it apart.
  25. Always save all the parts left over after putting computer back together.

This page last updated .