All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it
until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then
they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS '95 AIRLINES
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive
and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6
months late, you begin to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off
without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes
The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the
same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that
you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your
seat and watch the movie.
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to
customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful
jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the
real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than
Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the
technicians to finish the flight systems.
FLY WINDOWS NT
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make
jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
WINGS of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes
that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they
are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though
the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have
SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians
check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at
least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble
aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his
place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the
plane is too big to get through the hangar doors!
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the
airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane
they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several
different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually
reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.