Congratulations on an excellent site. I have had endless laughs during quiet moments at work, and the cat rules provided entertainment over our holiday last summer.
Sorry for not writing sooner, but I didn't have anything worthwile contributing to the standard I have come to expect from your site (I do have some, but they are slightly rude, negating your 'suitable for family' approach). Now, however, I have:
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays comes posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.
(You will probably have to read this aloud a few times in order to make sense of it, and also run it through a spelling checker to see what gets flagged - in Word 6 and 7 UK edition I had one error come up).
Although its many years since I sent you that poem, I have now positively identified the original author and its proper title, quite by accident. It is called "Candidate for a Pullet Surprise" and was written by Dr. Jerrold H. Zar of the Northern Illinois University in 1992. More information is available from http://www.bios.niu.edu/zar/poem.html
I would be most grateful if you could update the page to include its proper title and attribution.
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