ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
AL GORE VIRUS: Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
BILL CLINTON VIRUS: This virus mutates from region to region. We're not sure what it does.
BILL CLINTON VIRUS: Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years.
BILL CLINTON VIRUS: Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with no memory.
BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS: When you save a file, it prints "I am saved!" to the screen.
BIRTHDAY VIRUS: Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
BOB DOLE VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
BOBBITT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then reattaches it. (But that part will never work again.)
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
CONGRESS VIRUS: Overdraws your disk space.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4 pm, 6 days a week.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3: Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt.
DAVID DUKE VIRUS: Makes your screen go completely white.
DENNIS RODMAN VIRUS: The desktop pattern/picture/color changes radically every 2 or 3 days. DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes GOOFY. ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: Disks can no longer be inserted. ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
FIELD OF DREAMS VIRUS: If you program, it will come.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test.... no new files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
GEORGE W. BUSH VIRUS: Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
GRIDLOCK VIRUS: Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable to Senate'. Never gets any work done.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Test your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only ot reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
JERRY BROWN VIRUS: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Nobody can find it.
JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files.
JOHN KERRY VIRUS: Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Deletes all old files.
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."
LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy then discards it through Windows.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
MCI VIRUS: Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car. Only attacks minor files.
MIKE ROTCH VIRUS: It just hurts.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
NIKE VIRUS: Just Does It!
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS #1: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS #2: Claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Turns your printer into a document shredder.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS: Pops up on Dec. 25 and says "I'm not Santa Claus."
PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
PRO-CHOICE VIRUS: Every 30 seconds it flashes you a message that it is OK to delete your most important files because it is your right and you will feel better about yourself if you do.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
RICHARD NIXON VIRUS: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus". You can wipe it out, but it always makes a comeback.
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2: Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its development.
RUSH LIMBAUGH VIRUS: Deletes all keystrokes entered by the left hand, retains those entered by the right.
SAM NEWMAN VIRUS: only attack younger files.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.
SHIMPY BULLY VIRUS: Inflates itself to a size bigger than any other files, threatens some and then deletes itself.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
TED KENNEDY VIRUS: Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky virus): Your whole computer goes down.
TONYA HARDING VIRUS: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
WOODY ALLEN VIRUS: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
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