You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if ...

Date Received: Wed, 24 Feb 1999
Original Author: Unknown
  1. Art involves a white board
  2. Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
  3. Change is consistently the norm
  4. Communication is something your group is having problems with
  5. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers
  6. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
  7. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
  8. It's dark when you drive to and from work
  9. Nepotism is encouraged (It is easier to trick friends and relatives, they trust you)
  10. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined
  11. The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cubicle
  12. Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it.
  13. Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home
  14. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
  15. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise
  16. You learn about your layoff on CNN
  17. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
  18. You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes
  19. You read this entire list and understood it
  20. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
  21. You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
  22. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
  23. You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say" Oh wow, thanks!"
  24. You're already late on the assignment you just got
  25. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
  26. Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up."
  27. Your boss' second favorite lines are, "...this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."
  28. Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
  29. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
  30. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"
  31. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket

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