Date Received: Wed, 24 Feb 1999
Original Author: Unknown
- Art involves a white board
- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
- Change is consistently the norm
- Communication is something your group is having problems with
- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers
- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
- It's dark when you drive to and from work
- Nepotism is encouraged (It is easier to trick friends and relatives, they trust you)
- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined
- The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cubicle
- Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it.
- Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home
- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise
- You learn about your layoff on CNN
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
- You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes
- You read this entire list and understood it
- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
- You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say" Oh wow, thanks!"
- You're already late on the assignment you just got
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
- Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up."
- Your boss' second favorite lines are, "...this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."
- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket