EXCUSES FOR TAKING A NAP AT YOUR DESK

Date Received: Sat, 4 Apr 1998

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Not that ANY of you would ever sleep on the job... but just in case here are some excuses that you can use.

1. "...and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!"
2. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
3. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
5. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
6. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
7. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"
8. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
9. "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."
10. "I was working smarter, not harder."
11. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
12. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
13. "I'm in the management training program."
14. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
15. "It's okay... I'm still billing the client."
16. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"
17. "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
18. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"
19. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
20. "The coffee machine is broken."
21. "The instant data transfer from the computer is working!"
22. "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
23. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
24. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
25. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."
26. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
27. "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."
28. "You don't discriminate against those with Latent Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, DO YOU?!?"
29. Never explain, just blink and deny.