Date Received: Mon, 11 May 1998
- At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
- You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
- You actually know what a paradigm is.
- You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
- You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
- You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.
- You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
- You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
- You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "down-sizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's asses."
- You can spell "paradigm."
- You can use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
- You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.
- You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."
- You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line".
- You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."
- You give constructive feedback to your cat.
- You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
- You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey.
- You refer to dating as test marketing.
- You refer to your previous life as "my sunk costs."
- You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO."
- You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
- You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
- You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don't know.
- You understand your airline's fare structure.
- You write executive summaries on your love letters.
- Your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
- Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.