Humourous Cat Anecdotes, Part 2

Date: Sun, 2 Feb 1997
From: Franklin
Subject: a true cat story

Hi again Harold,
Here's a funny true cat story about a friend and myself and a couple of abandoned kittens.

Several years ago my neighbor found a couple of tiny kittens at the ball field, abandoned, and almost starved. She brought them home with her and called me to come help her try and get them started drinking some milk.

They wouldn't take the medicine dropper with milk which is all we had that late at night. Her cat had just had a litter of kittens and their bed was in one of the bedroom closets. But the mother cat would have nothing to do with the little strangers. June told me she was going to force the mother to let the little ones nurse. So she held the growling, snarling mother cat down and I held the kittens up to the faucets. Success. The kittens started nursing like crazy.

Just then the phone rang and her son, who was about 7 at the time, answered with, "I'm sorry, she can't come to the phone right now. She's in the closet sitting on the cat."

The caller hung up and we never found out who it was. We've giggled over that for almost 25 years.

"If the warble of the first bluebird does not thrill you, know that the morning and spring of your life are past." Henry D. Thoreau

Date: Mon, 10 Feb 1997
Subject: Re: Cat Rules

I have an online phenomenon that I bet is new. My cat has a sort of Pavlovian response to the modem. When I use it, he comes and sits at my feet, eventually going to sleep under the computer on the bed I had to provide to keep him from driving me crazy. Anyone else ever hear of this one? We spend most nights together with me on the computer and him asleep at my feet. Cute, huh?

Date: Thu, 13 Feb 1997
From: Cyndi Sayce
Subject: bad kitty list

Harold, I just read your "last meow" column in CATS, February 1997, and laughed myself silly. Read it to my two boys, Scamp and Tigger (Scamp got his name the obvious way). Have just been laughing hysterically at the 'bad kitty' list, and HAD to e-mail you to say THANKS! One kitty tale/tail: A former roommate of mine came to visit me at my then-new condo a couple of years ago. After a while, she broached the subject of moving in 'temporarily'. Scamp, who barfs up a hairball maybe once a year, chose that moment to deliver a really big one! Thank you again for your website.

Cyndi Sayce

Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997
From: Vic Caron
Subject: cat rules

Mr. Reynolds:
Your rules are absolutely hilarious as well as true! Try this one: When the dog is tied up in the yard, walk right up to the point where the trolley extends, but just out of the dog's reach. Then casually lift up your tail and wash your face as you pretend that the dumb growling dog is not even there!

The next one is rather unique to us: Our smallest cat, Sasha, was the latest addition to our feline frenzy! She does surprisingly manage to keep all of the other three cats "in line"(including 37 pound Alfalfa)! In order to share in her domain, they must first seek approval of the "queen" by sitting on the opposite of the door where she guards her territory! She must also be the first to eat in the morning as the other starving siblings drool in envy, or risk a certain beating! She scoops the food with her paw as Queen Elizabeth would use a silver spoon! Have you ever heard of such a fiasco, or is this unique to us?

Thanks for your entertainment!
Vic & Doreen Caron (carons

Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997
From: "Marella Kelley"
Subject: I love my cats!

I have had several cats that have a water fetish - they will splash water out of any container, including their water bowl, the toilet bowl, etc., with their paw. Just hitting it, not caring if they get wet. Or, if water is running hitting it with their paws. Great page. Thanks.

Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997
From: Michael Johnson
Organization: Progwin Network
Subject: Cat Slaves

Having been a cat slave for over 30 years, I can not conceive of life without at least one. The current cat in question is one Rosie II Cat. She has been around for about 8 years. She enjoys playing "bag-tag" after each shopping excursion no matter where we have been. She has been known to slide a plastic bag 2 or 3 feet across a carpeted floor. Then she will turn around in the bag and lay down until she is noticed. She also finds great sport in "newspaper surfing". She waits until you have laid down a section of the paper and then burrows her head into a few pages and cruises the floor until she is totally covered by the newspaper. She really likes to play food inspector. She knows exactly when a new bag of cat food has entered the house and immediately sits next to it and begs for it to be opened. This is because she is too dignified to be seen doing such a task. the URBAN HERMIT

Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997
From: Louise Koff
Subject: Bad Kitty List

After accessing your web site, I now know what University Professors do to meet the publish or perish requirement. Much more interesting than the scientific stuff. I have three great cat stories for you to work on for the Bad Kitty List. The first two go back many years and were told to me by coworkers. The third feat was accomplished by sister's cat who recently went to the Great Sandbox in the sky.

1. Several college students were sharing a house. One of the girls in the group had a Siamese cat. She also had a boyfriend who frequently stayed over. On this occasion they apparently did not close the bedroom door adequately. The cat entered the room a bit the boyfriend on the posterior at a very inopportune time. How the cat survived I do not know. Possible phrasing for Bad Kitty List--I will not bite Daddy on the Tush when he and Mommy are making Whoopee.

2. The cat in this story was perhaps ten years old and had lived with his owners for many years. On this occasion his Mommy disciplined him for misbehaving (or behaving like a cat). The cat did nothing at the time but when Daddy came and removed his sneaks, Kitty did a dump job in the shoes. Please note this was at least four or five hours later. I will not poop in Daddy's shoes when I am disciplined by Mommy.

3. I have no idea how to paraphrase this story for the Bad Kitty List. My sister owned a red tabby who believed the whole house was his sandbox. He would urinate anywhere. When his owners went away for any length of time they confined him to the kitchen/family room area. After one such confinement, my sister came home to find that the cat had urinated on the Wall phone which was mounted at least eighteen inches above the counter top and maybe ten inches below the base of the upper cabinets. He also caught the coffee maker in this escapade. We still haven't figured out how he did it.

Love your home page.

Louise Koff--Philadelphia, PA

Date: 9 Apr 1997
From: Jon Martin
Subject: funny posting

When we had a cat door my cats often held parties while we were gone. Even now, they invite them in through the windows in the summer. I've come in and found 7 cats lounging in my living room...along with my three. One time, when we were moving and didn't put away the catnip (it was on top of a box) they invited everyone over for a little kitty pot-party. We came in, there was this green stuff everywhere, and five very happy cats with the munchies lounging in our bedroom saying "Wow man, that was so primo stuff!"

Date: Mon, 16 Jun 1997
From: WVance2123
Subject: Ramona the Cat Saves Family from House Fire

Hi! Heard you were looking for cat stories. I'd like to tell you about one of my kitties, Ramona. She is 10 years old, black and white domestic short hair, and quite possibly THE BEST cat in the universe. Here's the story of how she saved her life, and that of my grandmother and night, in the middle of the night, Ramona woke me up by sitting on my chest and meowing loudly. Thinking she wanted something to eat, I went to the kitchen. After discovering she had plenty of food and water, I went back to bed, Mona right at my heels, meowing up a storm. I got back in bed, and she immediately got right in my house, still meowing. I told her to be quiet and then I noticed that her fur smelled like smoke. Smoke?! I investigated, and just as I reached the air conditioning unit, there was a bang and tons of heavy black smoke poured out. Evacuated the cat and my grandmother, and called 911. If it hadn't been for the persistence of Mona the Pest, we would have been burned alive.

Date: Sun, 13 Jul 1997
Subject: Bad kitty story

We had a beautiful Siamese cat named Farrah (unfortunately Farrah has passed on to the kitty litter box in the sky). Well, to make a long story short, Farrah had a great fascination for the glittery icicles dangling from the Christmas tree. Well, one day Farrah presented herself in the room after a trip to the litter box with a four inch piece of icicle sticking out of her bottom. The rest of the approximately twelve inch icicle was still inside the kitty. The kids were absolutely grossed out and insisted that the mother(me) do something to remedy the situation. Well, I got a pair of scissors and clipped the icicle at the butt, hoping that the rest would come later. All was well, the rest of the icicle exited the kitty in the next trip to the litter box. Needless to say, we have never used another icicle on our Christmas tree!

Farrah has been gone for nearly two years and she is greatly missed by her family. We will never tire of the icicle story, though, as we fondly remember this wonderful kitty!

Barbara Ford

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