The Twisted Tales of Harold Reynolds

Welcome to the newest addition to my collection of weird and/or funny stuff. These are some of the twisted tales that I wrote during my time in London Central Secondary School (note that here in Ontario high school goes to Grade 13, though they're phasing it out now) and into my first year undergrad at the University of Western Ontario. They started as a strange competition between myself and two friends in Grade 9 English as to who could write the sickest stories for the creative writing part of the class. It soon became clear that I had the more demented imagination. Why I continuted in this vein for the next six years I'll never know, and I'm sure the long-suffering English teachers at the school won't either. Come to think of it, I don't know why I wasn't called in for a psychological evaluation either, as I'm sure these things could indicate a severely disturbed kid. However, I was a good student, did very well in all my classes and, as far as I know, was generally well-liked by the students in a large number of the various cliques, probably because I was square as a brick and made no bones about it. (The corners have rounded a bit since then, but I'm still fundamentally square...)

So here they are for the world to read, each with a small introduction to place it in context. In what will probably prove to be a futile attempt to dodge copyright infringement, I have changed Smurf to Snuff and Sesame Street to Poppy Street. For some reason I really had it in for those shows. I hope that you enjoy them!

Harold Reynolds.

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  1. Poppy Street in the Snow, the first of the lot. The Poppy Streeters enjoy a Winter Olympics all their own.
  2. The Snuffs, in which we are introduced to the Snuffs as we never see them on TV.
  3. The Great Poppy Street War, the immediate sequel to The Snuffs, in which everyone gets embroiled in a huge war, and introduces Roland McDownal and the Burper King.
  4. Hallowe'en on Poppy Street, in which we discover what we don't want to have happen during Hallowe'en.
  5. Poppy Street Mangles Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet was never like this...
  6. Snore Leave, in which we are introduced to Star Drek and the world of the U.S.S. Improvise.
  7. Casper the Cheesecake, my first really long story. Foods come to life through a botched spell by a crazy TV cook.
  8. The Poppy Street War Games, in which we see Survival Games in a new light.
  9. Poppy Street at the Beach : Sun, surf, sand, and slaughter. Roland and Burper King return.
  10. Poppy Street Central, my second long effort, focused on some of the cast of crazies at one of Poppy Street's major high schools.
  11. Snuff (Un)Sporting Activities, golf unsanctioned by the PGA Tour.
  12. The Inspection, the Improvise is back, trying to dodge a mandatory ship inspection.
  13. The Story of Harold Punster, unrelated to my other tales, but an attempt to save a role playing game character from an unfortunate end.
  14. Revolution in Poppy Street, the last (and perhaps greatest?) of the lot, winding everything up, at least for now.

Send comments to me, Harold Reynolds. I'm interested in your opinions! Trust me, I'm really a normal guy now. Honest.

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