Anatomy
- Add Annoyed: A doctor who is irritated by addition is adenoid.
- Anna to Me: "...My Anna lies over the ocean; Oh bring back my anatomy..."
- Appendix: An item frequently found removed from a medical text is the appendix.
- Arms: "The enemy is coming! To arms! To arms!" "But I already have two arms!"
- Back: A spinal surgeon's favourite movie is "Back to the Future".
- Badder: Grammatically incorrect urology: bad, bladder, baddest.
- Balls: It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
- Blasphemer: If I set off an explosion with a leg bone, I'll go to Hell. Heaven doesn't want blast femurs.
- Bonaparte [Napoleon]: A French military commander with a broken leg could be called Napoleon Bone Apart.
- Braying: Why are noisy donkeys smart? Because of their great brain.
- Buy Sepps: "Mr. Sepps is thirsty!" "Well, biceps a drink!"
- Cardiac: Chatter during open-heart surgery is cardiyakking.
- Carp Pal: "Ask Al if he caught any of those fish." "Caught any carpal?"
- Cataracts [eye condition]: Optometrists refer to waterfalls as cataracts.
- Centre: Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.
- Colon: The punctuation mark most often found in medical texts is the colon.
- Cornier: These eyeball jokes don't get better, they just get cornea.
- Ear to Ear: The farmer was so pleased with his new cornfield that he walked the length of it, grinning from ear to ear.
- Elbow: I've made a revolutionary bow shaped like an L! I'll call it the elbow.
- Feet: Medical platitude: "Big feet run in the family."
- Foot: Why can't a nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
- Guns: Killer dentists shoot people with gums.
- Hair Line: Baldness is hereditary, which is why the hair boundary is called an heir line.
- Ham String: One should use a hamstring to tie up a pig.
- Heart: I don't have the heart to tell her she has angina.
- Here: "Should I put the desk there?" "No, put it ear."
- Hip: "Those jeans are real cool, man." "Yeah, dude, I'm real hip today."
- Hip-Hop: What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip Pop.
- Humourous: My anatomy class had to assemble a human skeleton, and as a joke I hid one of the arm bones. No one found that humerus.
- I: Eye have an appointment with the optometrist.
- Insist: "I don't want to!" "I really must in-cyst."
- Joint: Ken and Joyce's Knee and Hip Surgeons, Inc. is a joint operation.
- Kid Knee: What's that joint in a child's leg? A kidney.
- Knows: "Nobody nose the troubles I've seen..."
- Land: Before operating, an endocrinologist might say "Gland ho!"
- Leg: At last, the runners have entered the last leg of the marathon.
- Legends: Stories about my feet are not myths. They're leg-ends.
- Limp: Does a lame doctor walk with a lymph?
- Lips: Morty The Mouth's favourite song: "Tip Toe, Through the Two Lips".
- Liver: A person who lives can be called a liver.
- Long: Combat medic's marching song: "It's a Lung Way to Tipperary".
- Meet Us: "Where is Mike? He said he'd meatus 20 minutes ago!"
- Mosquitoes: When you are barbecuing, be careful where you drop the wood or you'll get mesquite toes.
- Neon: Would a leg injury clinic have a knee-on sign?
- Nick: "Thank goodness you've come! You got here just in the neck of time!"
- Ole Factory: Where are noses made? In the olfactory!
- Our Tree: "This is my tree!" "No way! This is artery!"
- Pa Tell A: "Patella story to us!" "OK kids, how about The Magic Kneecap?"
- Period [menstrual]: PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
- Pom-pom: Cheerleaders with great hands are known as palm-pom girls.
- Risk: At the wrist of sounding crazy, I like Anatomy puns.
- Roomy: My eyes are more spacious when they are rheumy.
- Scull: "You row with your head? Nonsense!" "Not at all. I skull."
- Sign Us: There are spots available in the dissection course? Well, sinus up for it!
- Sky (1): What a pilot tells an overambitious date: "The thigh is the limit!"
- Soft Tissue: I had a stack of toilet paper fall on me when I was in the grocery store. I wasn't hurt; there was only soft tissue damage.
- Sole (1): Do lonely feet sing "O sole mio?"
- Some (1): Thumb uf uth can't thpeak pwoperly.
- Spying: That KGB agent has been spine on us.
- Ten Done: In order to get problem tendon, you must do problem nine.
- Thor Axe: What the god Thor used to cut down trees: Thorax.
- Throw It: "Help! I'm holding a live grenade!" "Well, throat far away!"
- Tibia: Leg bones in the Roun-Noranda region are called Abitibias.
- Tow (1): What do you do if an elephant steps on your foot? Call a toe truck.
- Truth: "That's a lie!" "No, it's the tooth!"
- U-Station: The Ear Train comes into the eustachian.
- Vain: A doctor whose best friend is a mirror is said to be vein.
- You're In: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- You're On: "Neuron my property! Can't you see the "No Trespassing" sign?"