- A Bomb in a Bull (Jokes)
 - What do you call it when a bull eats a bomb? Abominable!
  
 | 
- B Flat [music] (Music)
 - In what key do cows sing? Beef flat.
  
 | 
- B Positive (Two-Liners)
 - My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. He kept insisting we "Be Positive", but it's hard without him.
  
 | 
- BA Degree (Book Titles)
 - Good for a Placemat: B. A. DegreeJG
  
 | 
- Baa Baa Black Sheep (Book Titles: Good)
 - Songs for Children: Barbara BlacksheepJG
  
 | 
- Baa-Steal Day (Misc)
 - On which holiday does the sheriff expect a spike in sheep rustling? Bastille Day.
  
 | 
- Babble On (Middle East)
 - "The Geography prof is a real windbag." "Yes, he really likes to Babylon."
  
 | 
- Babe Ruth (Hot Cross Puns)
 - What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
  
 | 
- Baboon (Animals)
 - What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom!
  
Monkey Shines: Bob Boone
 | 
- Baby Buggy (Jokes)
 - What is a newly hatched beetle? A baby buggy.
  
 | 
- Babylon (Tom Swifties)
 - "That city will NEVER be rebuilt," the prophets babble on.
  
 | 
- Back (Anatomy)
 - A spinal surgeon's favourite movie is "Back to the Future".
  
 | 
- Back Issues (Expressions)
 - I fell asleep last night while reading old magazines. This morning I woke up with back issues.
  
 | 
- Back to the Future (Plants: Flowers)
 - Michael J Fox was spotted in a gardening centre, though it was hard to tell with his back to the fuchsias.
  
 | 
- Backup Plan (Expressions)
 - If the Great Escape requires that the car go into reverse, and the gear breaks, do you need a backup plan?
  
 | 
- Bad Mint In (Sports)
 - That mint is spoiled? Well, go put that badminton the trash.
  
 | 
- Badder (Anatomy)
 - Grammatically incorrect urology: bad, bladder, baddest.
  
 | 
- Bag Dad (Middle East)
 - "Ask your father what he brought home from the store." "What's in the Baghdad?"
  
 | 
- Bag Here (One-Liners)
 - The location of a plastic bag recycling station can be marked by a character from The Jungle Books: Bagheera.
  
 | 
- Bagel (Jokes)
 - If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A bagel.
  
 | 
- Bah, Rain (Middle East)
 - What the campers say when the weather gets wet. "Bahrain!"
  
 | 
- Bail (One-Liners)
 - I named my plane "Enola Hay", but when I got into trouble, I had to bale out.
  
I got arrested for stealing hay, but got out of jail after posting bale.
 | 
- Bail [remove water] (Tom Swifties)
 - "This boat leaks," said Tom balefully.
  
 | 
- Bail [to get out of jail] (Tom Swifties)
 - "I'll get you out of prison in no time," said Tom balefully.
  
 | 
- Bail Out [of a plane] (One-Liners)
 - I wonder if it's wise to refer to financial aid for skydiving schools as a "bailout".
  
 | 
- Bait (One-Liners)
 - When fish swim in schools, they sometimes take debate.
  
 | 
- Baited (Tom Swifties)
 - "I just swallowed a fishing lure," said Tom with baited breath.
  
 | 
- Bakers Field (USA)
 - After the Great Open-Air Baking Competition, the meadow became known as the Bakersfield.
  
 | 
- Baking (Jokes)
 - Why did the pig quit sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat.
  
 | 
- Baklava (Baked)
 - What dessert comes from musical volcanoes? Bach lava.
  
 | 
- Balance (One-Liners)
 - I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  
Does a company that manufactures scales have to maintain a balance sheet?
 | 
- Bald (Tom Swifties)
 - "I'm going to get a hair transplant," said Tom baldly.
  
 | 
- Balder (One-Liners)
 - Was Baldur the ancient Norse god of hair loss?
  
 | 
- Balderdash (One-Liners)
 - If I spouted nonsense about foot races of the Norse gods, would you call it Baldurdash?
  
 | 
- Balefully (Tom Swifties)
 - "I just ate a block of hay," said Tom balefully.
  
 | 
- Ball (Basketball)
 - Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  
 | 
- Ball (1) (Baseball)
 - A fancy-dress dance for baseball players is called a ball.
  
 | 
- Ball (2) (Tom Swifties)
 - "Take me to the dance," Mary bawled.
  
 | 
- Ball Four (Book Titles: Good)
 - A Stroll to First Base: Balfour Walker
  
 | 
- Ball Lots (Sports)
 - Football, baseball, soccer, and basketball players (among others) are natural voters, since they play with a ballots.
  
 | 
- Ball Tick (Europe)
 - "That ball is a clock!" "Yes, I hear the Baltic too."
  
 | 
- Balls (Anatomy)
 - It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.Pun.me
  
 | 
- Balmer (Military)
 - A mortician with an explosive personality is an em-bomber.
  
 | 
- Bambi (Hot Cross Puns)
 - What do you get when you cross a fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
  
 | 
- Bamboo (Ghosts)
 - What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
  
 | 
- Bamboozled (Tom Swifties)
 - "I find panda food confusing," said Tom, bamboozled.OK
  
 | 
- Ban Gore (USA)
 - "I refuse to allow slasher movies in my town!" "You mean you'll Bangor?"
  
 | 
- Banana (Fruits)
 - It's a fruit! It's a flatbread! It's a banaana!
  
What is a skeleton's favourite fruit? A bone-ana.
 | 
- Bang for Your Buck (Tom Swifties)
 - "!" said Tom while banging his head.
  
 | 
- Bang for Your Buck (1) (Expressions)
 - A combination of hair salon and fireworks store could be called "More Bangs for Your Buck".
  
 | 
- Bang for Your Buck (2) (Expressions)
 - The motto of a discount hair stylist could be "More Bangs for Your Buck".
  
 | 
- Bang for Your Buck (3) (Expressions)
 - The motto of a discount deer rifle gun shop could also be "More Bangs for Your Buck".
  
 | 
- Bang Galore (India)
 - At an Indian fireworks show, there are Bangalore.
  
 | 
- Bangs (Hair Style) (One-Liners)
 - Do people who work in fireworks factories wear their hair in bangs?
  
 | 
- Banjo (Africa)
 - From a Geography song: "...I've come from Alabama with my Banjul on my knee."
  
 | 
- Banks (Jokes)
 - Why are rivers always rich? Because they have two banks.
  
 | 
- Banner [name of man behind Hulk] (Misc)
 - I don't know why Marvel doesn't use the Hulk to advertise more. He's essentially one big banner.
  
 | 
- Banquet (One-Liners)
 - To celebrate the grand re-opening of the First National Bank after the flood, they held a bank-wet.
  
 | 
- Bar Bare (Tom Swifties)
 - "Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude," said Tom barbarically.
  
 | 
- Bar Talk (Music)
 - Conversation heard in a saloon is Bartok.
  
 | 
- Barbarian (One-Liners)
 - An uncivilized hair stylist could be called a barberian.
  
 | 
- Barbary (Africa)
 - Are hair salons part of the Barbary States?
  
 | 
- Barbecue (Book Titles)
 - Outdoor Cookery: Barbie CueJG
  
What do you call a group of men waiting in line for a haircut? A barberqueue.
 | 
- Barbed Wire (Book Titles: Good)
 - Keep Out!: Barb DwyerJG
  
 | 
- Barbels (One-Liners)
 - A ladies' glee club that performs in the lounges of fitness clubs could be called the Bar-Belles.
  
 | 
- Barber (Jokes)
 - Where do sheep get sheared? At the baa-baa shop.
  
"Boy, will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.
 | 
- Bare Minimum (One-Liners)
 - Is a midget mother in a bikini wearing the bare mini-mum required by decency?
  
 | 
- Barely (Grains)
 - When the silo blew up, the farmer barley escaped with his life.
  
 | 
- Bares (Football)
 - The most unclothed football team: Bears.
  
 | 
- Barium (Book Titles)
 - Drink This Before the X-Ray: Barry Um
  
 | 
- Bark (Jokes)
 - How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? By its bark, which is worse than its bite.
  
Don't worry about the foresters. Their bark is worse than their bite.
 | 
- Bark is Worse than Your Bite (Expressions)
 - I had to choose being a programmer over being a shipbuilder, because my barque is worse than my byte.
  
 | 
- Baron Net (One-Liners)
 - Is the best way to catch a British Peer with a baronet?
  
 | 
- Barrel Roll (Book Titles)
 - Aircraft Maneuvers: Beryl Roll
  
 | 
- Barry (Fruits)
 - The famous fruit farmer turned musician: Berry Manilow.
  
 | 
- Bartender (Book Titles: Good)
 - Guide To Mixology: Bart EnderJG
  
A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
 | 
- Basalt (Geology)
 - When geologists season their mutton, they use baa-salt.
  
 | 
- Baseball (Baseball)
 - When Billy struck out, he cried, so the sport was called basebawl.
  
 | 
- Bash [a Unix shell] (Tom Swifties)
 - "I use the Bourne Again Shell," said Tom bashfully.
  
 | 
- Bashfully (Tom Swifties)
 - "I keep bumping my head on things," said Tom bashfully.
  
 | 
- Basic (Chemistry)
 - Studying the pH of solutions is a basic part of chemistry.
  
 | 
- Basic [programming language] (Tom Swifties)
 - "This is the most common language used on micros," said Tom basically.
  
 | 
- Basil (Europe: Switzerland)
 - Does the city of Basel have a lot of men named Herb?
  
The house of worship dedicated to Saint Herb is probably a basil-ica.
 | 
- Bass Line [music] (Music)
 - When do baseball players become musicians? When they're playing the base line.
  
 | 
- Bass Soon (Music)
 - A person who's fishing in a hurry wants a woodwind: a bassoon.
  
 | 
- Bassinet (One-Liners)
 - The best thing with which to catch fish is a baby's bed: a bassinet.
  
 | 
- Bath (Europe: United Kingdom)
 - In Bath, everything comes out in the wash.
  
 | 
- Bats (Jokes)
 - Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.
  
 | 
- Batted (Baseball)
 - What do you think would happen if a baseball player batted his/her eyelashes at the pitcher?
  
 | 
- Batter (Baseball)
 - To make baseball cookies, small pieces of batter are put in the oven to bake.
  
Cannibals should avoid mixing cake-baking with baseball, since they might put the wrong batter in the oven.
 | 
- Battered (Two-Liners)
 - Did you hear about the big fight at the seafood restaurant? Battered fish were everywhere!
  
 | 
- Batteries Not Included (Expressions)
 - My nickname in school was "Batteries" because I wasn't included in anything.
  
 | 
- Battery (Cars)
 - The Energizer Bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.
  
 | 
- Battin' (Asia: Philippines)
 - "Janet hit .675 in baseball today!" "That's a high Bataan average."
  
 | 
- Bawdy House (One-Liners)
 - A funeral director got busted on a prostitution-related charge - running a common body house.
  
 | 
- Bawled (Tom Swifties)
 - "I'm losing my hair!" Tom bawled.
  
 | 
- Bay (Physical)
 - Do oceanographers prefer Bay windows?
  
 | 
- Bay Root (Middle East)
 - That which keeps the bay plant from blowing away: Beirut.
  
 | 
- BB Gun (Book Titles)
 - Who Killed Cock Robin: B. B. GunnJG
  
 | 
- Be a Beeman (Book Titles)
 - How to Make Honey: B. A. Beamanp
  
 | 
- Be Extravagant (Book Titles)
 - How to Go Broke Fast: B. X. TravagantJG
  
 | 
- Be Gone, Ya (Plants: Flowers)
 - How to banish a gardener: say "Begonia!"
  
 | 
- Be Heading (Two-Liners)
 - I got a job as an executioner. I'll beheading there shortly.
  
 | 
- Be Leaving (Tom Swifties)
 - "Get out of here!" said Tom believingly.
  
 | 
- Be on Time (Book Titles)
 - Not a Moment to Spare: B. N. TimeJG
  
 | 
- Beach (Plants: Trees)
 - A mid-Sixties teen movie was called Beech Blanket Bingo.
  
 | 
- Bean (Vegetables)
 - "Waiter, what is this?" "It's bean soup, sir." "I don't care what it's been, what is it now?"
  
 | 
- Bear (Animals)
 - All of these puns are getting hard to bear.
  
 | 
- Bear Arms (Two-Liners)
 - The U.S. 2nd Amendment legalizes T-Shirts. Americans have the "right" to bare arms.
  
 | 
- Bears (Halifax)
 - Fairytale popular in the Halifax area: Goldilocks and the Three Bayers.
  
 | 
- Beat (Vegetables)
 - My salad just can't be beet.
  
 | 
- Beater [old car] (Cars)
 - I should call my car "Egg" because it's an old beater.
  
 | 
- Beaver Ton (Canada)
 - What do you call 2000 pounds of beavers? A Beaverton.
  
 | 
- Bee Gee Singers (Book Titles)
 - The Disco Craze: B. G. SingersJG
  
 | 
- Bee Grudge (Tom Swifties)
 - "Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge," said Tom begrudgingly.
  
 | 
- Bee Late (Tom Swifties)
 - "This flower's empty," the drone said belatedly.
  
 | 
- Beef (Meat)
 - "I want to complain about this meat!" "Okay, what's your beef?"
  
 | 
- Beef [complain] (Tom Swifties)
 - "This meat is hard to chew," Tom beefed jerkily.
  
 | 
- Beef Jerky (Jokes)
 - What do you call a cow with a bad twitch? Beef jerky.
  
 | 
- Bee-guile (Tom Swifties)
 - "I'm sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen," said Tom beguilingly.
  
 | 
- Been (Vegetables)
 - An ex-vegetarian can be described as a has-bean.
  
 | 
- Been Gassy (Africa)
 - "Why did you eat all that Beano?" "I've Benghazi."
  
 | 
- Been In (Africa)
 - I have Benin Africa for quite a while.
  
 | 
- Beet (Vegetables)
 - I was the drummer for a band called Borscht. I never missed a beat!
  
 | 
- Beet Oven (Music)
 - The best place for a composer to bake beets is the Beethoven.
  
 | 
- Beet Root (Book Titles)
 - Red Vegetables: B. Troot6
  
 | 
- Beetle Juice (Astronomy)
 - The drink made from crushed insects: Betelgeuse.
  
 | 
- Behave (Book Titles)
 - Kindergarten Kop II: Bea HayveJG
  
 | 
- Behind (Misc)
 - Did you hear what happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
  
 | 
- Behind Bars (Expressions)
 - Why are people who serve drinks imprisoned by their jobs? Because they're behind bars.
  
 | 
- Belch (Tom Swifties)
 - "I am NOT full of hot air," Tom belched.
  
 | 
- Believe (One-Liners)
 - The apiarist left his job, if you can bee leave it.
  
 | 
- Believe Ya (South America)
 - How to accuse a geographer of lying: "I don't Bolivia."
  
 | 
- Bell Grade (Europe: Balkans)
 - Where are chimes rated? Belgrade.
  
 | 
- Bell in the Water (Book Titles: Good)
 - Ringing Wet: Belinda WaterA
  
 | 
- Bell Ringer (Book Titles: Good)
 - The Life of Quasimodo: Belle Ringer
  
 | 
- Bellows [for fire] (Tom Swifties)
 - "Let's make this fire hotter!" Tom bellowed.
  
 | 
- Belt and Suspenders (One-Liners)
 - On May 1, I like to be extra cautious and wear suspenders as well as my belt, because I'm a Beltane suspenders guy.
  
 | 
- Beluga (Animals)
 - What colour are whales? Blue-ga.
  
 | 
- Ben Seen (Chemistry)
 - "I want to report Ben as a missing person." "OK, where was benzene last?"
  
 | 
- Beneficiary (Book Titles)
 - I Love Wills: Benny Fishery
  
 | 
- Benevolent (Book Titles)
 - Good Works: Ben Evolent6
  
 | 
- Benign (Redefinitions)
 - What you will be after you are eight.
  
 | 
- Berated (Tom Swifties)
 - "I think that those floppy hats are stupid!" Tom berated.
  
Why do all of my hat jokes get beret-ed?
 | 
- Bering (Misc)
 - He looked at the map to get a Bering on his direction.
  
 | 
- Berth Above (Book Titles)
 - The Pullman Sleeper: Bertha BuvJG
  
 | 
- Best Man (Expressions)
 - At the start of a competition at a wedding, should you say "May the best man win?"
  
 | 
- Best Wishes (Book Titles)
 - Lotsa Luck: Bess TwishesJG
  
 | 
- Bet He (Names)
 - "I bet Joe will propose to her tonight." "I Betty will too."
  
 | 
- Better (Greek Letters)
 - These Greek alphabet jokes don't get any beta.
  
 | 
- Bey On Nut (Military)
 - A painting of the Bey of Tunis sitting on a cashew was called "bayonet".
  
 | 
- Bi Cuss (Dentist)
 - A tooth that leads an alternative lifestyle focused on swearing is a bicuspid.
  
 | 
- Bi[sexual]-Czar (Tom Swifties)
 - "Rasputin and I are lovers," said Nicholas bizarrely.
  
 | 
- Bic [pen] (Tom Swifties)
 - "Why shouldn't I stir my yogurt with a ballpoint pen?" Tom bickered.
  
 | 
- Bieber, Justin [musician] (Beverages)
 - Justin Bieber should set up a craft brewery and call its product Bie-beer.
  
 | 
- Big Metal Fan (Jokes)
 - What did one wind turbine say to the other? "I don't know your taste in music, but I'm a big metal fan."
  
 | 
- Bigger (Chemistry)
 - Motto of land developer: beaker is better.
  
 | 
- Bilking (Book Titles: Good)
 - Monarch of the Swindlers: Bill King
  
 | 
- Bill (Jokes)
 - What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
  
This guy gets put through mail slots: Bill.
 | 
- Bill Fast (Europe: United Kingdom)
 - "Bill wants the report now!" "OK, I'll get it to Belfast."
  
 | 
- Billboard (Book Titles)
 - Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored
  
 | 
- Billed (One-Liners)
 - For my assembly services, you will be build.
  
 | 
- Billfold [wallet] (Book Titles)
 - Where to Put Your Money: Bill Foldk
  
 | 
- Billiard Ball (Hot Cross Puns)
 - What do you get when you cross Telly Sevalas with a pool table? A billiard bald.
  
 | 
- Billings (USA)
 - Billings is known as the "Invoice Capital of the U.S.A."
  
 | 
- Billionaire (Book Titles)
 - Stories About Very Rich People: Billie O'NairJA
  
I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. Someday I hope to be a bouillonaire.
 | 
- Billionare (Book Titles)
 - Rich People: Belle Yenerei
  
 | 
- Bills to Pay (Two-Liners)
 - "Have you got bills to pay? If you do, please give it back. He looks silly bald." (Stolen from Laugh-In)
  
 | 
- Binding (Tom Swifties)
 - "I got tied up in traffic," said Tom bindingly.OK
  
 | 
- Birdie (Golf)
 - The musical that most appeals to golfers who make bad shots is "Bye-Bye Birdie".
  
 | 
- Birdies and Eagles (Birds)
 - Birders dislike golfers because of their desires to get birdies and eagles.
  
 | 
- Birthday (One-Liners)
 - When a ship comes into port, it gets a little older because it's a berthday.
  
 | 
- Biscuit (Baked)
 - A really good soup makes me want to bake bisque-its.
  
 | 
- Bite (1) (Computers)
 - A computer programmer chops his food into byte-size pieces.
  
 | 
- Bite (2) (Physical)
 - The oceanographer's bark is worse than his bight.
  
 | 
- Biting (Tom Swifties)
 - "I hate computers!" exclaimed Tom bytingly.
  
 | 
- Bitter (Tom Swifties)
 - "This apple is sour!" said Tom bitterly.
  
 | 
- Biz Mark (USA)
 - The grade of a Montanan school of business administration is a Bismarck.
  
 | 
- Blank (1) (Tom Swifties)
 - " ," said Tom blankly.
  
 | 
- Blank (2) (Tom Swifties)
 - "Those bullets can't hurt me," said Tom blankly.
  
 | 
- Blank Stair (Tom Swifties)
 - "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.
  
 | 
- Blasphemer (Anatomy)
 - If I set off an explosion with a leg bone, I'll go to Hell. Heaven doesn't want blast femurs.
  
 | 
- Blasphemers (Jokes)
 - What do you call two leg bones that deny the existence of God? Blasfemurs.
  
 | 
- Blaze (Names)
 - A guy I knew got fired from so many jobs that he started calling himself Blaise.
  
 | 
- Blaze Burns (Book Titles: Good)
 - What a Big Fire Does: Blaise Burns
  
 | 
- Blazers (Clothing)
 - Firefighters prefer to wear blazers.
  
 | 
- Bleachers (Baseball)
 - Baseball fans who make their hair unnaturally blonde are bleachers.
  
 | 
- Bless the Rains in Africa (song) (Vampires)
 - Why are there no vampires in Africa? Because holy water kills them, and They Bless the Rains in Africa.
  
 | 
- Blew It (Music)
 - When a wind instrument player flubs a note, do we say that he blew it?
  
 | 
- Block (Cars)
 - A mechanic's idea of exercise is jogging around the (engine) block.
  
 | 
- Blockhead (One-Liners)
 - Is a numbskull who likes Lego a blockhead?
  
 | 
- Blocks (Two-Liners)
 - The LEGO stores are reopening. People are lined up for blocks!
  
 | 
- Blood Bank (Vampires)
 - Where did the vampire open his savings account? At the blood bank.
  
 | 
- Blow Job (Two-Liners)
 - There exists a reporting application called Tableau. In a business environment, one should say "This is a job for Tableau!", not "This is a Tableau job!"
  
 | 
- Blow Out (One-Liners)
 - Would you buy a whoopee cushion from a blow-out sale?
  
Would you buy bubble solution from a blow-out sale?
Think of the effort I could save by buying birthday candles at a blow-out sale.
 | 
- Blow Up (Two-Liners)
 - An unsuccessful demolition engineer can only blow up balloons.
  
 | 
- Blows (Clothing)
 - Tailor's lullaby: "...When the wind blouse, the cradle will rock..."
  
 | 
- BLT [bacon, lettuce, tomato] (Book Titles)
 - Golfer's Sandwich: B. L. TeeJG
  
 | 
- Blue (Jokes)
 - What colour was the wind? Blew.
  
 | 
- Blue Toe (Astronomy)
 - What astronomers have when they get frostbite on their feet: Pluto.
  
It was when Popeye's nemesis walked barefoot through a tray of indigo dye that he became known as Bluto.
 | 
- Bluer (Toronto)
 - As the sun rises, the sky gets Bloor; as it sets, the sky gets blacker.
  
 | 
- Blues (Hockey)
 - The favourite colours of this hockey team are turquoise, aquamarine and navy, because they're Blues.
  
 | 
- Blunt (Tom Swifties)
 - "I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.
  
 | 
- Blustered (Tom Swifties)
 - "This wind is awful!" blustered Tom.
  
 | 
- BO ["Body Odour"] (Chemistry)
 - Borates stink. They're all about BO.
  
 | 
- BO [Body odour] (Book Titles)
 - Why Do People Avoid Me?: B. O. ProblemJG
  
 | 
- Boarding (One-Liners)
 - My kid didn't know how to get on an airplane, so we sent him to boarding school.
  
 | 
- Bob (Names)
 - What to call a fellow who floats in the water: Bob.
  
 | 
- Bob for Apples (Book Titles)
 - Things to Do At Parties: Bob FrapplesJG
  
 | 
- Bobby Pins (Tom Swifties)
 - Keep Your Hair Neat: Bobby Pins and Hera ClipsJA
  
 | 
- Bobby Sox (Book Titles)
 - Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie SoxJG
  
 | 
- Body (One-Liners)
 - Off-colour jokes are, for morticians, bawdy humour.
  
 | 
- Body Building (One-Liners)
 - Dr. Frankenstein was a fitness buff, and was really into body building.
  
 | 
- Body Spray (Undead)
 - If the folks from The Walking Dead tossed a zombie into a wood chipper, they'd get a perfume: body spray.
  
 | 
- Bogey (Golf)
 - One tune never to whistle while you are on the golf course is "Colonel Bogey".
  
 | 
- Bogus (Book Titles)
 - Counterfeiting: Beau Gus Cash
  
 | 
- Bohemian Rhapsody (One-Liners)
 - If I were to open a sandwich shop with a Queen (the rock group) theme, could I call it Bohemian Wrapsody?
  
 | 
- Boil (Physics)
 - The best way to evaporate water is to Boyle it.
  
 | 
- Boing (One-Liners)
 - When airplane manufacturers are on pogo sticks, they say "Boeing, Boeing, Boeing!"
  
When a trampoline team flies to its engagements, its plane of choice is a Boeing.
 | 
- Bold (Tom Swifties)
 - "I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.
  
 | 
- Bolder (Jokes)
 - Did you hear about the shy pebble? It wanted to be a little boulder.
  
I wonder if people who study rocks in Colorado are Boulder and others more timid?
 | 
- Bolt (Two-Liners)
 - I bought a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
  
 | 
- Bond (1) (Chemistry)
 - Many people wish for the day when a chemist's word was his bond.
  
 | 
- Bond (2) (Money)
 - Britain's secret agent of finance is James Bond.
  
 | 
- Booby [breast] (Jokes)
 - How do you catch a bra? With a booby trap.
  
 | 
- Book Arrest (Europe: Balkans)
 - Reading an illegal book can lead to the so-called "Bucharest" by the Thought Police.
  
 | 
- Booked (Two-Liners)
 - I heard that there's a hot new restaurant in town called The Library. I tried to get reservations, but it was fully booked.
  
 | 
- Boom (Tom Swifties)
 - "My fellow Americans," boomed Ronald Reagan, "I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever..."
  
 | 
- Boom (Of a Sailboat) (One-Liners)
 - Do sailors who work in fireworks factories avoid the boom while drinking pop?
  
 | 
- Boom and Bust (Expressions)
 - A fireworks and a brassiere-making company hoped to increase business by merging, but the result was boom and bust.
  
 | 
- Boomer (One-Liners)
 - Should baby boomers be allowed to run fireworks factories?
  
 | 
- Boomerang (Baked)
 - "When I threw that pie away, it came right back and hit me!" "That's because it's a boomeringue."
  
I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue. I was surprised, as Australians usually boo meringue.
If a ghost throws a pie and it comes back and hits her in the face, that pie must be a boo-meringue. No doubt this joke will come back to haunt me.
 | 
- Boot (One-Liners)
 - Do cobblers have to go to boot camp after enlisting in the armed forces?
  
 | 
- Boot Tan (Asia: South)
 - When a boot (or a ghost) turns brown in the sun, it has a Bhutan.
  
 | 
- Boots (Ghosts)
 - What scary things do ghosts wear on their feet? Boots.
  
 | 
- Booze (Ghosts)
 - Are ghosts alcoholics because they like boos?
  
 | 
- Bordeaux (Beverages)
 - It's no longer called "boxed wine". It's Cardboardeaux.
  
 | 
- Bore (Animals)
 - The pig kept putting people to sleep because he was such a colossal boar.
  
"I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
 | 
- Bored Stiff (Expressions)
 - When the mortician died while doing carpentry, he became a board stiff.
  
 | 
- Boring (Animals)
 - All these pig jokes are getting boaring.
  
To wish an oil driller well, should you say "Have a boring day"?
 | 
- Boring (1) (Book Titles)
 - My Boring Career: A. Drillerp
  
 | 
- Boring (2) (Animals)
 - It is tiresome when a snake starts swallowing its tail because it becomes a boa-ring.
  
 | 
- Boron (Chemistry: Elements)
 - If a dumb student is a moron, is a boring chemistry prof a boron?
  
 | 
- Boss Need A (Europe: Balkans)
 - "Does the Bosnia Tylenol?" "Yes, the boss has a big headache after that meeting."
  
 | 
- Boss Pour Us (Asia: Turkey)
 - During "Role Reversal Day", the boss can be ordered around. For example: "Bosporous all a cup of coffee."
  
 | 
- Bought (Money)
 - We went to Thailand for a vacation and baht a lot of ties.
  
 | 
- Bought Any (Plants)
 - You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
  
 | 
- Bouncer (One-Liners)
 - Nobody gets rowdy at the Trampoline Tavern because they have lots of bouncers.
  
 | 
- Bouncing Cheques (Europe: Eastern)
 - Should a trampoline team from Prague call themselves the Bouncing Czechs?
  
 | 
- Bound to Be (Mummies)
 - Mummies are bound to be uptight.
  
 | 
- Bounty [Mutiny on the] (Tom Swifties)
 - "This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully.
  
 | 
- Bouquet (Ghosts)
 - A Halloween flower arrangement is a boo-quet.
  
 | 
- Boutique (Ghosts)
 - Ghosts like to do their shopping in bootiques.
  
A fancy little shop specializing in marine supplies is a boatique.
 | 
- Bovine (Animals)
 - Cows don't grow on trees, they grow on bo-vines.
  
 | 
- Bow and Arrow (Book Titles)
 - Archery: Beau N. Arrowb
  
 | 
- Bow Tie (One-Liners)
 - While on board a ship, I wear a boat-tie.
  
 | 
- Bowled (Sports)
 - He was so startled by his spare that he was bowled over.
  
 | 
- Bowled Over (USA)
 - When Jack met Jill, he Boulder over with his charm and wit.
  
 | 
- Box (Sports)
 - "Do you want a box for these leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."
  
 | 
- Boy (Animals)
 - Why do dogs float in water? Because they are good buoys.
  
 | 
- Boy Ant (Tom Swifties)
 - "That young insect is male," said Tom buoyantly.
  
 | 
- Boys (USA)
 - Me and the Boise went out for a beer.
  
 | 
- Bragg [Fort] (Tom Swifties)
 - "My ancestor was a famous Confederate general who had an army fort named after him," Tom bragged.
  
 | 
- Brains (Undead)
 - Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie who only eats Brians?
  
 | 
- Brains vs Brawn (Expressions)
 - The Braun company makes electric razors. If they made a promotional video for a hair clipper for donkeys, would it be called "Brayin vs Braun"?
  
 | 
- Branches (Plants)
 - The Tree Bank has many branches to serve you.
  
 | 
- Branding Irons (Book Titles: Good)
 - The Last Roundup: Brandon IronsJG
  
 | 
- Bra's Ill (South America)
 - You have a sick brassiere? Yes, my Brazil.
  
 | 
- Brave [Native American] (Tom Swifties)
 - "I ain't afraid of those white men," said Cochise bravely.
  
 | 
- Brawn (Chemistry)
 - Metallurgists are a balanced bunch - they have both brains and bronze.
  
 | 
- Braying (Anatomy)
 - Why are noisy donkeys smart? Because of their great brain.
  
 | 
- Break (Cars)
 - "Sorry, no discounts on repairs!" "Aw, gimme a brake!"
  
 | 
- Break In (One-Liners)
 - Preparing new shoes for use is like being a burglar, since you have to break them in.
  
 | 
- Break Into (Music)
 - I break into song if I can't find the key.
  
Musical theatre is a great place for burglars. People are always breaking into song.
 | 
- Breakdown (Cars)
 - That car has a high-strung disposition. It might have a nervous breakdown if mistreated.
  
 | 
- Breakfast of Champions [ad slogan] (Undead)
 - I wonder if "Breakfast of Champions" means something different in Zombie Country.
  
 | 
- Breaking News (Expressions)
 - "Bull in a China Shop!" is an example of breaking news.
  
New info on the Monarch of the Donkeys is bray king news.
 | 
- Breaks (Cars)
 - "I can't get any breaks!" is not what you want to say when you're driving.
  
 | 
- Breast (Europe: France)
 - It is difficult to keep a-Brest of all the new developments in Geography.
  
 | 
- Breathless (Tom Swifties)
 - "Now no-one can detect my halitosis," said Tom breathlessly.
  
 | 
- Bred (Two-Liners)
 - At the zoo, I saw some toast in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.
  
 | 
- Brewing (Meteorology)
 - I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea. I thought "hmm, there's a storm brewing."
  
 | 
- Brewster (Animals)
 - Can we call a chicken making beer a brooster?
  
 | 
- Brick Layer (Hot Cross Puns)
 - What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cement truck? A brick layer.
  
 | 
- Bridge [dental] (Dentist)
 - A dentist's favourite song is "Bridge over Troubled Waters".
  
A dentist's favourite movies are "A Bridge too Far", The Bridge Over the River Kwai" and "The Bridges of Madison County".
 | 
- Bridle (Tom Swifties)
 - "Nay!" Tom bridled hoarsely.
  
 | 
- Brie Fly (Tom Swifties)
 - "There's a blood-sucking insect in my French cheese," said Tom briefly.
  
 | 
- Briefly (Tom Swifties)
 - "My underpants are too small," said Tom briefly.OK
  
 | 
- Bries [Plural of Brie cheese] (Cheeses)
 - Winds can be cheeses, if they're a breeze.
  
 | 
- Bright (1) (Tom Swifties)
 - "Eating uranium can cause strange effects," said Tom brightly.
  
 | 
- Bright (2) (Tom Swifties)
 - "Many hands make light work," said Tom brightly.
  
 | 
- Brigitte Bardot (Book Titles: Good)
 - French Wine for Sex Symbols: Brigitte Bordeaux
  
 | 
- Bring to the Table (Expressions)
 - Employer: "What makes you think you'd be a good waiter?" Me: "I bring a lot to the table."
  
 | 
- Brisk [brand of iced tea] (Tom Swifties)
 - "Take tea and see," said Tom briskly.
  
 | 
- Bristle (Tom Swifties)
 - "Use your own hair brush," Tom bristled.
  
 | 
- Britney Spears (One-Liners)
 - Western France was known for its singing pikemen, the Brittany Spears.
  
 | 
- Broadband (Music)
 - Once there was a rock group that wore brassieres outside their clothes. They called themselves Fast Internet because they were the bra'ed band.
  
 | 
- Broadloom (One-Liners)
 - If my carpet gets heavily soiled, should I call it broadloam?
  
 | 
- Brochure (Two-Liners)
 - "Bro, do you want this pamphlet?" "Bro, sure."
  
 | 
- Broke (Music)
 - When a musician has no money, he/she is Baroque.
  
 | 
- Broke it Off (Expressions)
 - She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  
 | 
- Broker (One-Liners)
 - They're called stock brokers because you're seldom richer after you deal with them.
  
 | 
- Bronze [medal] (Sports)
 - Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
  
 | 
- Brook (Physical)
 - The jealous physical geography prof would brook no rivals.
  
 | 
- Brouhaha (One-Liners)
 - If beer had bubbles of nitrous oxide, it would be noisy in a funny way because it would be a brewhaha.
  
 | 
- Browns (Football)
 - If musicians sing the blues, couch potatoes must sing the Browns.
  
 | 
- Brush (Tom Swifties)
 - "Get out of my hair," was Tom's brush-off.
  
 | 
- Brush Up (Dentist)
 - Dentists don't review before a test, they brush up on the material.
  
 | 
- Brussels Sprout (Book Titles)
 - Small Vegetables: Russell SproutJG
  
 | 
- Buck (Dentist)
 - Why did the deer go to the orthodontist? He had buck teeth.
  
 | 
- Buck an Ears (Football)
 - To raise money for the team, its players sell corn for $1 an ear, hence the team name Buccaneers.
  
 | 
- Bucking Ham (Europe: United Kingdom)
 - The best place for a pig rodeo is Buckingham.
  
 | 
- Bud A Pest (Europe: Eastern)
 - "Budapest? Not at all! He's the nicest guy I know!"
  
 | 
- Buddy System (Book Titles)
 - Prevent Drowning: Buddy SystemJG
  
 | 
- Budget (Misc)
 - You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  
 | 
- Budweiser [Beer] (Book Titles: Good)
 - Smart Beer Making: Bud Wiser
  
 | 
- Buffalo (Animals)
 - A bull works out at the gym to become a buff fellow.
  
 | 
- Buffet Dinner (Book Titles)
 - The Smorgasbord: Buffy DinnerJG
  
 | 
- Bug (Europe: Eastern)
 - The Bug River is known for its variety of insects.
  
 | 
- Bug [illness] (One-Liners)
 - I told my doctor that I am hearing buzzing in my ears, but he said it's just a bug going around.
  
 | 
- Bugs (Jokes)
 - What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
  
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
 | 
- Bugs [computer] (Jokes)
 - Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many bugs.
  
 | 
- Build Your Own (Book Titles: Good)
 - House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme6
  
 | 
- Building (Book Titles)
 - Houses, Offices, and Apartments: Bill Ding
  
 | 
- Bull [market] (Tom Swifties)
 - "The stock market's going up," said Tom bullishly.
  
 | 
- Bullion (Animals)
 - In what form do cattle prefer their gold to be? Bull-ion.
  
 | 
- Bumper (Cars)
 - She wouldn't get out of the way, so I had to bumper to let her know I wanted in.
  
 | 
- Bumper Crop (Expressions)
 - When a farmer does really well, she grows auto parts because she has a bumper crop.
  
 | 
- Bunting [bird] (Birds)
 - The Birdwatcher's Convention was all decked out with paper streamers and bunting.
  
 | 
- Buoyant (Jokes)
 - How can you tell if an ant is male or female? Drop it in water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's a boy ant.
  
 | 
- Burb Bank (USA)
 - The 'Burbs Savings and Loan Company is located in Burbank.
  
 | 
- Burden (Names)
 - I never want to be a Burton on society.
  
 | 
- Burn (Europe: Switzerland)
 - If I make one more pun about Switzerland, they'll Bern me alive.
  
 | 
- Burn A (Asia: South)
 - To Burma house down on purpose is considered a crime.
  
 | 
- Burn A Bee (Canada)
 - "I like to burn wasp nests!" "You must be from Burnaby."
  
 | 
- Burn a Debt (Book Titles: Good)
 - Celebrate the End of Your Mortgage!: Bernadette Party
  
 | 
- Burnout (One-Liners)
 - Do overstressed firefighters suffer from burnout?
  
 | 
- Bury (1) (Canada)
 - Let us make peace, Barrie the hatchet and get on with life.
  
 | 
- Bury (2) (Names)
 - A good name for a gravedigger: Barry.
  
 | 
- Bury 'Em (1) (Chemistry: Elements)
 - When a Chemistry prof dies, we have a funeral, then barium.
  
 | 
- Bury 'Em (2) (Book Titles)
 - We Won 20-1!: Barry UmJG
  
 | 
- Bus [computer] (Tom Swifties)
 - "We don't have room for any more peripherals," said Tom bus-ily.
  
 | 
- Bush (Measures)
 - The unit of shrub volume should be the bushel.
  
 | 
- Business (Chemistry: Elements)
 - In spite of the bank robbery, it was bismuth as usual.
  
 | 
- Bust [female] (Tom Swifties)
 - "You're busted!" said the policeman to Miss Dolly Parton.
  
 | 
- Bust [women's] (One-Liners)
 - I predict that the movie I'm making about building a bra out of Lego will be a blockbuster.
  
 | 
- Bust a Move (Expressions)
 - When traffic cops pull over a U-Haul, they are dancing because they're busting a move.
  
 | 
- Buster Crabbe [actor] (Book Titles: Good)
 - Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe
  
 | 
- Butter (Expressions)
 - The monk who saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine said "I can't believe it's not Buddha."
  
 | 
- Butter Fly (Jokes)
 - Why did Silly Billy throw butter out a window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
  
 | 
- Butter Up [expression] (Cannibals)
 - Beware the flattering cannibal. He's trying to butter you up.
  
 | 
- Buy Cal (Asia)
 - "What shall we get Cal for Christmas?" "Let's Baikal an atlas."
  
 | 
- Buy No Meal (Mathematics)
 - I know a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial.
  
 | 
- Buy Sepps (Anatomy)
 - "Mr. Sepps is thirsty!" "Well, biceps a drink!"
  
 | 
- Buy Some (Animals)
 - "You've run out of buffalo steaks? Go out and bison, then!"
  
 | 
- Buy You (Physical)
 - Geographer bar talk: "Hello handsome. Let me bayou a drink."
  
 | 
- Buzz cut (Book Titles)
 - Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz CuttJG
  
 | 
- By Storm (Meteorology)
 - The movie Twisters is taking the theatres by storm.
  
 | 
- Bye, son (Animals)
 - What did the buffalo say when he sent his son to college? Bison.
  
 | 
- Byte (Tom Swifties)
 - "These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8," said Tom bitingly.
  
 | 
- Cleanup (Baseball)
 - The baseball player got the nickname "The Janitor" because he was always batting cleanup.
  
 | 
- High Tide (One-Liners)
 - Laundry detergent made from hemp would be marketed under the brand name "High Tide".
  
 | 
- Look Out Below (One-Liners)
 - "Look out below!" is a lookout bellow when you are standing on a high observation post.
  
 |