Pun Dictionary: D Entries

A Dictionary (One-Liners)
Heroin, cocaine, morphine, crystal meth and more definitions can be found in your addictionary!
Da Knees (Book Titles)
Suntanned Legs: Denise R Brown A
Da Video Recorder (Book Titles)
Tape Another Channel: David E. O. Recorder A
Daffodil (Hot Cross Puns)
What do you get when you cross a flower with a pickle? A daffodill.
Dairy (Geography)
This Irish city has the best milk, cheese and butter: Derry.
Dalai Lama (Animals)
When something is running late, it should be reported by a mascot: the Delay Llama.
Dalek [Dr Who] (Book Titles)
"Charlie and the Chocolate EXTERMINATE!": Roald Dahlek
Damn (1) (Jokes)
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam!"
Damn (2) (Tom Swifties)
"I'm too smart to believe in Jesus Christ," said Tom with damnable cleverness.
Damning with Faint Praise (Tom Swifties)
"That hydroelectric facility is so beautiful I think I'll pass out!" said Tom, fainting with dam praise.
Dan Fourth (Toronto)
The son of Dan III and grandson of Dan II was called Danforth.
Dandruff (Book Titles)
We're All Flakes: Dan Druff JG
Danzig (Geography)
A Cole Porter favourite of geographers is "Danzig in the Dark".
Dare He (Food)
Ralph criticized my milk and cheese? How dairy do that!
Daring (Book Titles)
Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue JG
Dark (Tom Swifties)
"The eclipse is starting," said Tom darkly. "The lights have gone out," said Tom darkly.
Darling (Geography)
The Australian river of love is the Darling.
Darn It (Geology)
If you drop a rock on your foot while in polite company, you should say "Garnet all!"
Darth Mall (Jokes)
Where do Sith Lords do their shopping? The Darth Mall.
DA's [District Attorney] Office (Book Titles)
Perry Mason's Last Case: D. A. Zoffuss JG
Davis Cup (Book Titles)
Great Tennis Matches: Davis Skupp JG
Dawson Said He'd (Geography)
If Dawson City'd do it then he will; his word is as good as gold
Day Care (Jokes)
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-Scare Centres.
Days are Numbered (Expressions)
Every calendar's days are numbered.
DDT (Book Titles)
Banned Pesticides: Dee-Dee Tee
De Deuce (Tom Swifties)
"It's time to play my wild card," Tom deduced.
Dead Giveaway (Expressions)
A funeral home promotion could also be called a dead giveaway. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
Dead Pan (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
Dead Pan (2) (One-Liners)
Any humour coming from an undertaker's kitchen would have to be deadpan.
Deadly (Book Titles)
Poisonous Plants: Dudley Nightshade JG
Deaf to Lee (Tom Swifties)
"I won't listen to you, Leonard!" said Tom def-t-Lee.
Dealt A (Greek Letters)
"A Jack, two, six, eight and ten! You Delta lousy poker hand to me!"
Dear (Animals)
This stuffed animal is very deer to me.
De-Bait (Tom Swifties)
"I wonder if I'd have better luck if I fished with a net," Tom debated.
Debris (Food)
What happened when the cheese factory exploded? De brie flew everywhere.
Debugger (Book Titles)
Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger JG
Deca [10] Dent (Tom Swifties)
"How many dings you got in your door, there, Tom?" "Ten," Tom replied decadently.
Decaffeinated (Jokes)
What do you call a cow that just had its baby? Decalfinated.
Decay (Book Titles)
Garlic Gone Bad: D. K. Stinky
Deceased (Book Titles)
The Realm of the Dead: Dee Seized C
December (Book Titles)
The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember JG
Decide (Book Titles)
Make Up Your Mind: Dee Side A
Deciduous? (Tom Swifties)
"Well, that tree definitely isn't a conifer," Tom decided.
Deck a Gone! (Mathematics)
What the Captain said when his boat was bombed: Decagon!
Deck the Halls (Expressions)
A friend recently finished work on a deck. I suggested that at Christmas he could put it on a flatbed truck. Then instead of "Deck the Halls" he could sing "Haul the Decks".
Declare (Tom Swifties)
"I'm not going to eat any more of those pastries," Tom de-eclaired.
Declare [a program's variable] (Tom Swifties)
"X is an integer," Tom declared.
Declension (Tom Swifties)
"I've already given you the nominative, vocative, accusative, genitive, dative, and ablative, so I will say no more," Tom declined.
De-creed (Tom Swifties)
"Adherents of my religion don't all have to believe the same thing," Tom decreed.
Dee (Geography)
The Dee River in Scotland is letter-perfect.
Deep And (Jokes)
What is Good King Wenceslas' favourite type of pizza? Deep-pan, crisp and even.
Deep and Crisp and Even (Christmas)
What is King Wenceslas' favourite pizza? One that is deep-pan, crisp and even.
Defeat (Misc)
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
De-feet (1) (Tom Swifties)
"Now I'll NEVER dance," said Tom defeatedly.
De-feet (2) (Tom Swifties)
"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
Defence (Tom Swifties)
"I have to attend my PhD oral examination," said Tom defensively.
De-fence (Tom Swifties)
"Sure, I'll get rid of those jewels for you," said Tom defensively.
Defense [de fumer] (Tom Swifties)
"I refuse to obey that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.
Defensive (Tom Swifties)
"But I thought forts were a good idea," whined Tom defensively.
Defibrillator (One-Liners)
Can a chronic liar be cured with a defibrillator?
De-fur (Tom Swifties)
"Okay, you can have the gloves without lining," Tom deferred.
De-Grade (Tom Swifties)
"You are going to fail my class," said the teacher degradingly.
Degree (Tom Swifties)
"I have a B.A. in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern.
Déjà vu (One-Liners)
Rewatching the movie Halloween gives me a feeling of déjà boo.
Delegate (Cannibals)
If a cannibal were to attend a political convention, would it be as a del-leg-ate?
De-Lewd (Tom Swifties)
"The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show," said Tom deludedly.
Deli (Geography)
This city might be a good place to find cheese and cold cuts: Delhi.
De-Liberate (Tom Swifties)
"I think all those feminists should be forced to work as housewives," said Tom deliberately.
Deli-Cut (Tom Swifties)
"People who sell fancy foods should be careful with knives," said Tom delicately.
De-Light (Tom Swifties)
"Oh, goody! Another blackout!" said Tom delightedly.
De-Lighted (One-Liners)
I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.Pun.me
De-Liver (Tom Swifties)
"Welcome to the Annual Meatcutter's Convention!" delivered Tom.
Dell Aware (Geography)
"Mr. Dell does not know of that either." "Is Delaware of anything anymore?"
Demon-Straight [jacket] (Tom Swifties)
"This is how to put an imp in a restraining jacket," Tom demonstrated.
Demonstration (One-Liners)
When attempting to sell new Products for Torment in Hell, one always needs to provide a demon-stration.
Demonstrative (Tom Swifties)
"This, that, these, those, and such," said Tom demonstratively.
De-Myrrh (Tom Swifties)
"Wouldn't just gold and frankincense do?" the Magi demurred.
De-Nile (Tom Swifties)
"I CAN'T be drowning in African waters!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
Dentistry (Book Titles)
Maple Molars!: Dennis Tree
De-phi (Tom Swifties)
"I still think we should differentiate the magnetic flux," said Tom defiantly.
Deported (One-Liners)
When a ship gets kicked out of a country, it is de-ported.
Depress (Tom Swifties)
"I have to insert this wooden spatula in your mouth," said Tom depressingly.
De-Rice (Tom Swifties)
"No pilaf for me, please," said Tom derisively. (Or: "Get off my lap," said Gary Hart derisively.)
De-Ride (Tom Swifties)
"Get off the horse," Tom derided Mary.
Descent (Mathematics)
Who is ready for a dix-cent into the madness of French number puns?
De-Scribe (Tom Swifties)
"This is how he murdered the mystery writer," Tom described.
De-Script (Tom Swifties)
"Let me improvise this part," said Tom descriptively.
De-Seat (Tom Swifties)
"Let's play musical chairs," said Tom deceitfully.
De-See (Tom Swifties)
"What's wrong with a few tea leaves?" asked Tom deceivingly.
De-septive (Tom Swifties)
"Let me clean out this poison tank," said Tom deceptively.
Desert (Food)
"My cake ran away!" "Funny, why would it want to dessert you?"
Despairingly (Tom Swifties)
"I've only got two of a kind," said Tom despairingly.
De-Spare (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I haven't put air in my fifth tire," said Tom despairingly.
De-Spare (2) (Tom Swifties)
"I will never get the hang of bowling!" wailed Tom despairingly.
Despicable (Astronomy)
The astronomer wasn't just loathesome, he was de-Spica-ble.
Dessert (Geography)
The evil Geography department head was overthrown and exiled to the Sahara. It was considered his just Desert.
Details are Sketchy (Expressions)
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Determine (Tom Swifties)
"It's best to find a new word for this," Tom determined.
Developed (Misc)
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
De-Vote (Tom Swifties)
"I saw that man remove my ballot from the box," said Tom devotedly.
Dialect (Tom Swifties)
"British English, of course," Di elected to say.
Diamonds (Baseball)
Marilyn Monroe on baseball: "Diamonds are a girl's best friend."
Diapers (Book Titles)
Baby Mess-Trappers: Di Perrs A
Dicing with Death (Expressions)
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
Dictate (Tom Swifties)
"My word is final!" Tom dictated to his secretary.
Dictator (Book Titles)
Tyrant of the Potatoes: Dick Tater
Dictionary (Book Titles)
Webster's Words: Dick Shunnary 3
Did a number on it (Expressions)
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
Die (Misc)
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Die Fledermaus (Music)
The struggle over unplugging an inflatable Christmas mouse display could be turned into a comic opera called Deflator Mouse.
Dim Sum (One-Liners)
Addition in a dark Chinese restaurant is "dim sum".
Dine (Physics)
"Would you like to have dinner with us?" "Yes, I'd be happy to dyne with you."
Diner (Money)
A person eating at a restaurant is called a dinar.
Diploma (Tom Swifties)
"Of course you graduated," said Tom diplomatically.
Diplomatic Immunity (Jokes)
Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity.
Dirty (Jokes)
Some people stole my soap. The dirty bastards.
Dis-Appoint (Tom Swifties)
"I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
Dis-Arm (Tom Swifties)
"All I want is 20,000 machine guns," said the dictator disarmingly.
Dis-Array (Tom Swifties)
"DIS[1], DIS[2], ... DIS[n] (n > 2)," Tom said in total disarray.
Disaster (1) (Misc)
Did you hear about the woman who backed into an airplane propeller? Disaster!G
Disaster (2) (Trees/Shrubs)
After someone talked trash about my flower garden, he caused a 10-car crash. It was a diss-aster.
Disbarred (Jokes)
What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.
Disc-Closed (Tom Swifties)
"There are no more I/O operations to do today," Tom disclosed. (Or: "This slipped object is hard to find," the surgeon disclosed.)
Dis-Concert (Tom Swifties)
"I'll not have you punk rockers making music in MY auditorium," said Tom disconcertingly.
Disconcerting (One-Liners)
Being ejected from an orchestral performance is neither unsettling nor disturbing, it's disconcerting.
Dis-Console (Tom Swifties)
"Someone stole my computer terminal," said Tom disconsolately.
Dis-Consulate (Tom Swifties)
"Let me out of this embassy," said Tom disconsolately.
Dis-Cord (Tom Swifties)
"I'm a frayed knot," said Tom discordantly.
Dis-Cover (Tom Swifties)
"And dat bay is not green," Tom discovered.
Discuss (Sports)
To talk about something in depth: Discus.
Dis-Cussed (Tom Swifties)
"Dat is not duh @#$%*! way to do it," Tom discussed.
Disgruntled (Redefinitions)
The mood of a pig that has lost its voice.
Dis-Gust (Tom Swifties)
"Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
Dis-Joint (Tom Swifties)
"I have to wear this cast for another six weeks," said Tom disjointedly.
Dis-May (Tom Swifties)
"Oh no, it'll soon be June," Tom said in dismay.
Dis-Miss (Tom Swifties)
"That's the woman!" Tom said dismissively.
Dis-Organ (Tom Swifties)
"I just got a sex change," said Tom, feeling rather disorganized.
Dis-Orient (Tom Swifties)
"I just got kicked out of China!" said Tom, rather disoriented.
Dis-Quiet (Tom Swifties)
"Turn the record player down," said Tom disquietingly.
Dis-Stain (Tom Swifties)
"Out, out, damned spot!" said Lady Macbeth distainfully. "Look what you did to the rug, you naughty dog!"
Dis-Stress (Tom Swifties)
"I'm tearing my hair out over this problem," said Tom distressingly.
Distinctive (One-Liners)
Don't talk smack to a skunk because it has a diss-stinktive aroma.
Dis-Tract (Tom Swifties)
"Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets!" said Tom distractingly.
Disturbing the Peace (Food)
I was arrested at the supermarket and charged with harassing the vegetables. I got it knocked down to disturbing the peas.
Dive-vulge (Tom Swifties)
"I need a Latin Bible suitable for reading under water," Tom divulged.
Dixie (Book Titles)
"I'm Not Just Whistling": Dick See
Do (Meteorology)
I hate water condensation problems! I never know what to dew.
Do Buy (Geography)
"Should I get a new atlas?" "Oh yes, Dubai one. Yours is 20 years old!"
Do with My Eyes Closed (Expressions)
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I can do it with my eyes closed.Pun.me
Do You Wanna (Geography)
Mexican bums say "Tijuana give me some money?"
DOA (Book Titles)
Didn't Make it to the Hospital: D. O. Way
Dodge City (Geography)
It's very hard to hit people in Dodge City.
Dogged (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I've got to reach Kenilworth tonight," said Tom, trotting doggedly onward.
Dogged (2) (Tom Swifties)
"Well I'll be an S.O.B.!" said Tom doggedly.
Dogmatic (Tom Swifties)
"Female canines often scratch the parasites on the coats of their young," said Tom dogmatically.
Dole (Tom Swifties)
"I'm on welfare," said Tom dolefully.
Dolphins (Football)
Sailors watch this team while at sea to bring luck: Dolphins.
Don (Geography)
The Don river is the place to be at sunrise.
Don Lands (Toronto)
I have a cat named Don. Donlands on his feet when he falls.
Don Mills (Toronto)
Tom mills barley, but Don Mills wheat.
Done Das (Toronto)
"Ask Mr. Das if he's finished yet." "Are you Dundas?"
Done Dee (Geography)
"Ask Dee if she's finished." "Are you Dundee?"
Done Eating (Geography)
After finishing a meal, a geographer says "I'm Dunedin."
Donnybrook (Book Titles)
Fistfights: Donny Brooke JG
Don't Cry for Me, Argentina [Song] (Book Titles)
Don't Cry for Me: Marge and Tina
Don't Sweat the Petty Things (Expressions)
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't yell (Book Titles)
Shhh!: Danielle Soloud JG
Doobie (Tom Swifties)
"I wonder what syllables I should sing these sixteenth notes to," said Ward Swingle dubiously.
Door (Cars)
You unlocked the car for me! You're a-door-able!
Door is Open (Book Titles)
Come on in!: Doris Open
Double You (Book Titles)
The Cloning Service: W. Today
Doubling (Geography)
The Irish economy should always be in good shape, since its capital is always Dublin.
Doubting [Thomas] (Tom Swifties)
"I won't believe that you're the resurrected Jesus until I've felt the nail-holes in your wrists," said Tom doubtingly.
Down (1) (Jokes)
What grows up while growing down? A goose.
Down (2) (Names)
When she stepped on the riverboat's scales, a smart-alec sang "Weigh Dawn upon the Swannee River..."
Down Cast (Tom Swifties)
"I tried to set my broken orbital bones with feathers, but failed," said Tom with downcast eyes. "That was a sad one-man Broadway show," said Tom, downcast.OK
Down in the Mouth (Dentist)
Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth.
Down-Cast (Tom Swifties)
"I dropped my brace over the balcony," said Tom downcastly.
Dracula (One-Liners)
If a railway engineer were to become a vampire, would he be called Count Trackula?
Drag-ster (One-Liners)
Is a cross-dressing race car driver a dragster?
Drain (Names)
The sink is clogged! Quick, call Dwayne the plumber!
Drain Pipe (Book Titles)
Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe JG
Drained Right Out (Book Titles)
Where's the Water?: Dwayne Dwight Out
Dramatic (Tom Swifties)
"All actors must die!" proclaimed Tom dramatically.
Dream job (Expressions)
To be a mattress tester is my dream job.
Drew (Names)
Before he died, Drew was a good artist.
Drew Blood (Book Titles)
En Garde!: Drew Blood JG
Dribble (Tom Swifties)
"I'm pretty good at basketball," said Tom, dribbling.
Drill Team (Dentist)
Dentists in a shared-practice office called themselves "The Drill Team".
Drive (Cars)
A golfer who can't drive can't get to the golf course, let alone play the game well.
Drive-In Theatre (Hot Cross Puns)
What do you get when you cross a movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
Driving Me Nuts (Expressions)
A pirate walked into a bar with a car's steering wheel between his legs. The bartender says, "Sir, why is there a steering wheel between your legs?" The pirate replied "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
Dromedary (Animals)
A camel that takes the smallest slight and blows it up into a Big Hairy Deal is a drama-dary. Camels in a certain part of Ireland are drome-Derrys.
Drone [male bee] (Tom Swifties)
"All I ever do is work," Tom droned.
Drop a Line [communicate] (Expressions)
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.Pun.me
Drum (Music)
Advertising the concert is a good way to drum up business.
Dry (Tom Swifties)
"There's too much vermouth in my martini," said Tom dryly.
Dry [non-alcoholic] (Tom Swifties)
"I never go into saloons," said Tom dryly. "I've seen too many of my friends enter them optimistically and leave them mistyoptically."
Dry Den (Geography)
All other things being equal, a bear prefers a Dryden to a wet den.
Dry Run (Jokes)
To practice for the marathon, I jogged in the desert. It was a dry run.
Dryly (Tom Swifties)
"Barman, three German beers," said Hans dryly.
Dryly (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I like deserts," said Tom dryly.
Duck (Tom Swifties)
"Look out for that bird!" cried Tom, ducking.
Duff Fur In (Toronto)
"Where should I put the fur of these duffs?" "Put the Dufferin the box so that nobody will steal it."
Dug (Names)
This man worked all his life in the mines: Doug.
Dug Graves (Book Titles)
Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves JG
Dullar (Money)
"Are his financial senses getting sharper?" "No, they're getting dollar."
Dumb-Founded (Tom Swifties)
"Why would anyone want to start an Institute for the Mute?" asked Tom dumbfoundedly.
Dunkin' (Geography)
The act of dipping a doughnut into one's coffee is defined by geographers as Duncan.
Dunkin Doughnuts (Book Titles)
I Like Coffee: Duncan Doughnuts
Dust and Cook (Book Titles)
Housework: Dustin Cook n
Dusty Roads (Book Titles)
Highway Travel: Dusty Rhodes
Duty (Tom Swifties)
"I'll pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.
Dying (Expressions)
Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
Dyne (Tom Swifties)
"Why use SI units? The old c.g.s. units are my friends," said Tom dynamically.
The Descent of Man (Jokes)
If Darwin had written a book about the evolution of deodorant, would it have been called "The De-Scent of Man"?

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