Pun Dictionary: F Entries

F Fort Less (Tom Swifties)
"The enemy has taken stronghold F," said Tom effortlessly.
Fabrication (One-Liners)
All quilts are lies: complete fabrications!
Facelift (Book Titles)
Look Younger: Fay SliftJG
FaceTime (Apple iPhones) (Two-Liners)
There's a guy around town stealing iPhones. When he's caught, he will FaceTime in prison.
Failing Health (Expressions)
I got a D- on my medical exam. Apparently, I'm in failing health.
Faint Heart (Tom Swifties)
"I failed my electrocardiogram," said Tom faint-heartedly.
Fair Banks (USA)
The instant teller machines at the Geography Fair quickly became known as the Fairbanks.
Fait Accompli (Cheeses)
A cheese that is already made is a feta compli.
Fa-la-la-la (Christmas)
The animal that is always overlooked at Christmas is the fa-la-la-la-llama.
Falcon (Birds)
The Great Autumn Bird Swindle was called the falcon.
Fall (Two-Liners)
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he had a great fall.Pun.me
Fall Cons (Football)
The Autumn Football Swindles became known as the Falcons.
Fall Short (Expressions)
I'll never be a champion dwarf thrower. All my efforts fall short.
Falling Out (Two-Liners)
Some might call a balding guy's disagreement with his hair an argument, but it was more like a falling-out.
False (Tom Swifties)
"That's a lie!" said Tom in falsetto.
False Prophet (Two-Liners)
My seismologist friend got a job predicting earthquakes. He's a real faults prophet.
Fal-Staff-Ian (Tom Swifties)
"Please keep Ian on salary even if he does no work; banish not sweet Ian, kind Ian, true Ian, valiant Ian from thy company," was Tom's Falstaffian plea.
Famous (Book Titles)
The Most Well-Known Rodent: Fay Mouse
Fan-Attic (Tom Swifties)
"I'm trying to get some air circulating up here just beneath the roof," said Tom fanatically.
Fan-Fare (Tom Swifties)
"The transit system could reduce its deficit by steeply charging those passengers on their way to rock concerts and sports events," said Tom with considerable fanfare.
Fans (Jokes)
How so celebrities remain cool? They have lots of fans.
Fan-Tass (Tom Swifties)
"The Soviet press is useful on hot days," said Tom fantastically.
Far Away (One-Liners)
Egypt isn't close, it's pharaoh way.
Far Away (1) (Book Titles)
Not Near: Farrah Way
Far Away (2) (South America)
Get lost! Go Paraguay from me!
Far Go (USA)
Is Fargo the place from which long journeys start?
Far Out (Expressions)
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
Faroe Islands (Europe: Scandinavia)
Egypt and Denmark have something in common. In Egypt, the Pharaoh ruled for as far as his eye could see - the Pharaoh Eye-Lands. Denmark controls the Faroe Islands.
Fast (Jokes)
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.
Fast Asleep (Jokes)
Why could the runner only win races while snoozing soundly? Because she was only fast asleep.
Fasten (One-Liners)
The tenth Fast and Furious movie should be called Fast Ten: Your Seatbelt.
Fat (Tom Swifties)
"I'm 'drawing' the butter," Tom clarified fatuously.
Fathom (One-Liners)
Iím trying to work out an easy way to convert the 2 metre social distancing rule into imperial measurements, but itís just a bit more than I can fathom.
Fatigues (Jokes)
What are tired Army clothes? Fatigues.
Fault (Physical)
Don't blame me for the earthquake! It's not my fault!
Faux Pas (Two-Liners)
I tell Dad jokes, but I have no kids. Does this make me a faux pa?
Favour a Bull (Tom Swifties)
"I don't want my cow to be artificially inseminated," was Tom's favourable response.
Fay Would (Toronto)
What about Fay? Do you think Faywood fall for a gorilla like him?
Fe [symbol for iron] (Chemistry: Elements)
Iron Man's superhero chemist wife is called Fe-male.
Fear (One-Liners)
The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.
Fear-Less (Tom Swifties)
"Forward march! Eins, zwei, drei, funf, eins, zwei, drei, funf!" said the German commander fearlessly.
Fed Up (Cannibals)
You can feel safe around an annoyed cannibal because he's already fed up.
Fee Bull (Tom Swifties)
"You can use my stud for 100 dollars," was Tom's feeble offer.
Fee Fi Fo Fum (Football)
When a New York Giants receiver drops the football, is it called a Fee-Fi-Fo-Fumble?
Feel Awful (Two-Liners)
I ate too much Middle Eastern food. Now I falafel.
Feelings (Jokes)
Be kind to your dentist. S/he has fillings too.
Feet (Anatomy)
Medical platitude: "Big feet run in the family."
How do you measure the length of a snake? In inches, since they don't have feet.
Felt His Presence (Christmas)
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
Fend Her (Cars)
She attacked me with a tire iron, so I had to fender off with my hubcap.
Fentanyl (Two-Liners)
The soft drink Fanta is an opiod. When I run out, it's a Fanta-nil situation.
Fern Ass (One-Liners)
The backside of a fern is really hot because it's a furnace.
Fetch (Tom Swifties)
"I'll go get the stick," said Tom fetchingly.
Fie (Greek Letters)
Fee phi fo fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Field (Expressions)
If your children are looking for a career, have them consider farming. Thereís good money in that field.
Sports grammar: Incorrect past tense of "to feel": Field.
Figment (Jokes)
What kind of candy should remain in your imagination? A fig mint.
"I have created a new colour called groozle!" "There is no such colour! It's a pigment of your imagination!"
Figure (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I could always draw it on paper," Tom figured.
Figure (2) (Tom Swifties)
"I really admire Raquel Welch's acting," said Tom figuratively.
Filet Mignon [1] (One-Liners)
If you dine on steak and find yourself a little hoarse afterwards, were you eating filly mignon?
Filet Mignon [2] (One-Liners)
If you had steak in the City of Brotherly Love, did you have Philly mignon?
Fill 'Er Up (Book Titles)
The History Of Exxon: Phil ErrupJG
Fill Us In (Book Titles)
Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis ZinnJG
Filling (Dentist)
Dentist: "What type of filling would you like?" Patient: "Chocolate?"
Filling in (Dentist)
I needed a cavity fixed, but my dentist was away. Fortunately he had someone filling in.
Filter Out (Book Titles)
The Polarization Process: Phil TerroutA
Filthy (Book Titles)
Unclean!: Phil Thee
Final (Chemistry)
Chemistry exams at the end of the year are phenol exams.
Final Frontier (Two-Liners)
It's hard to tell in the pictures, but Mr. Spock of Star Trek has three ears: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Fine (Tom Swifties)
"Albert, that illegal left turn is going to cost you twenty bucks," said the policeman finally.
Fine Job (Expressions)
The city's parking enforcement officers handed out lots of tickets and were commended for doing a fine job.
Finger [Unix command] (Tom Swifties)
"I plan to work for Digital," said Tom, giving me the finger.
Finger Food (Cannibals)
I suspect that cannibals have different ideas about finger food than we do.
Finish (Europe: Scandinavia)
Did you manage to Finnish your geography homework?
Finish Him (Two-Liners)
Did you know that the video game Mortal Kombat was based on Scandinavian church music? It was a Finnish hymn.
Fire at Will (Expressions)
When William joined the army, he came to dislike the phrase "Fire at will".
Fired (Jokes)
How did the human cannonball lose his job? He got fired.
Fired Back (Tom Swifties)
"My spinal cord has been given notice," Tom fired back.
Fish and Chips (Jokes)
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
Fist of Fury (One-Liners)
A martial arts film involving people in animal costumes could be called Fist of Furry.
Fitting (One-Liners)
When a tailor dies, do his friends give him a fitting tribute?
Five (Europe: United Kingdom)
Scottish Geographer counting: "... two, three, four, Fife,..."
Flaccid (Tom Swifties)
"I'm just not attracted to you," said Tom flaccidly.
Flag-Rant (Tom Swifties)
"You should *never* burn the Stars and Stripes!" cried Tom flagrantly.
Flamingo (One-Liners)
When the 15th letter of the alphabet is on fire, it becomes a bird: a flamingo.
Flash Freeze (Redefinitions)
What happens when you expose yourself while in Antarctica.
Flat (Music)
I opened the garage door and saw that my bike tires needed tuning because they were a bit flat.
Flat (1) (Tom Swifties)
"I don't like steamrollers!" said Tom flatly.
Flat (2) (Tom Swifties)
"This must be Nebraska," Tom stated flatly.
Flat Tire (Book Titles)
Blowout!: Vlad TireJG
Flatly (Tom Swifties)
"Here's an epenthetic stamp," said Tom f'lat'ly.
Flatten 'em (Chemistry: Elements)
"I'll knock down these buildings!" "You mean you'll platinum?"
Flattery (Physical)
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
"Your steam roller will not persuade me. Flattery will get you nowhere!"
Flaws (Dentist)
The dentist's character isn't perfect: he has his floss.
Fleece [swindle] (Animals)
Beware of sheep scammers. They're always trying to fleece you.
Fleet (1) (Military)
"Those Navy people sure can run fast!" "Yes, they're very fleet of foot."
Fleet (2) (Tom Swifties)
"Ships ahoy!" said Tom fleetingly.
Flexible (One-Liners)
Should yoga instructors be prepared to work flexible hours?
Flies (1) (Jokes)
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Flies (2) (Misc)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Flint (USA)
Flint, Michigan is the "Sparks from Rocks Capital of the World".
Flip (Sports)
You shouldn't be flippant in judo class.
Flip Ant (Tom Swifties)
"I love trying to make insects fly," said Tom flippantly.
Flippant (Tom Swifties)
"When do I turn over the pancakes?" asked Tom flippantly.
Float (One-Liners)
Is a person in a life jacket factory who fills in for others called a float?
Flood (Jokes)
With what did Noah illuminate the Ark? Flood lights.
Floor (Chemistry: Elements)
The element that can be walked on is fluorine.
Floor Right (Geology)
If I don't get this fluorite, when someone walks in he'll fall through to the basement.
Floors (Asia: Southeast)
Geography classrooms have ceilings, walls and Flores.
Florida (USA)
An American state that produces both fluoride and flooring is Florida.
Florist (Book Titles)
Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo WristJG
Flounder (Meat)
Joe tried to win the fishing derby, but floundered instead.
Flu (Jokes)
What's a chimney sweep's most common ailment? The flue.
Flush (Book Titles)
Down the Drain: W.C. Flush
Flush [poker hand] (Jokes)
Why are toilets so good at poker? They always get a flush.
Flu-Went (Tom Swifties)
"You're losing your grippe!" said Tom fluently.
Fly Fishing (Misc)
A man and his son were fishing in a lake, whose water was rough because it was a windy day. He made a bad cast and the hook snagged in the little hole in the tag of his pants zipper. His son said "Is this why it's called fly fishing?"
Fly off the Handle (Witches)
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? They're afraid of flying off the handle.
Folded (One-Liners)
There was a company that sold paper to origami enthusiasts, but it folded.
Fondle (Tom Swifties)
"I wouldn't mind running my fingers over THOSE!" said Tom fondly.
Fool (Cars)
A person who sniffs gas isn't an idiot, he's a fuel.
Foot (Anatomy)
Why can't a nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Foot Loose (Undead)
Should you be worried if a zombie starts singing "Footloose"?
Foot the Bill (Expressions)
What's the difference between a philanthropist and an orthopedist? A philanthropist foots the bill, while an orthopedist bills the foot.
For Giving and Not Forgetting (Christmas)
The Christmas of Reconciliation was memorable because Christmas is forgiving and not forgetting.
For Long (Measures)
Buy this horse now, because it won't be this cheap furlong!
For Most Of My Life (Asia: East)
I have been studying Geography Formosa my life.
For Rest (Plants)
"Do you go to the woods for exercise?" "No, I go forest."
For Ward (Hockey)
"Ward wants you to get some food from the store." "Ok, I'll do it forward."
Force (Physics)
A force is one step greater than a threece.
Ford (Cars)
Without a bridge, the best place to drive across a river is at a Ford.
Fore Cast (Golf)
I thought a forecast is what you get when you break a leg on the golf course.
Foregone Conclusion (Golf)
I shanked a golf ball deep into the rough. That it was lost was a fore-gone conclusion.
Forest Fire (Book Titles)
Rangers In The Night: Forrest FyarJG
Fore-Warn (Tom Swifties)
"I'm no good at golf. I know I'm going to hit another bad shot," Tom forewarned.
Forge (Tom Swifties)
"Now all I have to do for this banknote is engrave the portrait," Tom forged ahead.
Forgery (Jokes)
What's the similarity between a blacksmith and a counterfeiter? They're into forgery.
Forlornly (Tom Swifties)
"I must do something about the dying grass in my yard," said Tom for-lawnly.
Formidable [French word] (Misc)
An amazing French ant is un fourmidable.
Fortune Teller (Jokes)
What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller.
Forty-Five (Music)
What music concert costs only 45 cents? 50-Cent featuring Nickelback.
Fouls (Baseball)
The pitcher became known as "Chicken" Little because batters kept hitting fouls off him.
Four-Abode (Tom Swifties)
"I don't know how much longer I'll need only three of my houses," said Tom forebodingly.
Fourth (Jokes)
How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? Fore!
"I will NOT finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
Fourth Coming (Tom Swifties)
"The last of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse is on his way," said Tom, forthcoming.OK
Fourth Right (Tom Swifties)
"I got the first three wrong," said Tom forthrightly.
Framed (Jokes)
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
France Is (Names)
"I'm going to Cannes in January." "The south of Frances very nice at that time of year."
France is Crowded (Book Titles: Good)
French Overpopulation: Francis Crowded
Frank (1) (Money)
"I must be franc with you. Your monetary policy plan will not work."
Frank (2) (Names)
If nothing else, Frank is always honest with you.
Frank (3) (Tom Swifties)
"I do NOT have a multiple personality disorder," said Tom, trying to be frank.
Frank Opinion (Book Titles)
I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion2
Frankenstein (Two-Liners)
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank made a monster.
Frankfurter (Book Titles)
Hot Dog!: Frank Furter
Frankly (Book Titles)
To Be Honest: Frank Leea
Free Bee (Two-Liners)
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. 'Thatís one too many!' says the customer. The clerk replies 'Itís a freebie.
Free of Charge (One-Liners)
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Freed A (Names)
I organized the breakout that Frieda few friends of mine.
Freed a Convict (Book Titles: Good)
The Great Escape: Freida Convict
Fresh Ground (Two-Liners)
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, it's fresh ground."
Fretful (Tom Swifties)
"I can't play the guitar because my fingers are too big," said Tom fretfully.
Front (1) (Meteorology)
Given a choice, a weatherman always enters by the front door.
Front (2) (Toronto)
Why travel the back streets, when we have Front Street?
Frontier (Jokes)
How many ears do Star Trek fans have? Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Frostbite (Hot Cross Puns)
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
Frugal (Tom Swifties)
"Dance in lane," said the sign frugally.
Fruit (Music)
Underwear for musicians: Flute of the Loom.
Fruitful (Tom Swifties)
"I just ate three apples!" said Tom fruitfully.
Fruitless (Tom Swifties)
"Please pass me the oranges," was Tom's fruitless request.
Frustration (Redefinitions)
Frustriation: Anger that the paper will not tear on the dotted line.
Full of Himself (Cannibals)
An egotistical cannibal is full of himself.
Function (Mathematics)
Why did the mathematician only work from home? She could only function in her domain.
Fur (Plants)
Some evergreens are always warm because they have fir coats.

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