- I (Anatomy)
- Eye have an appointment with the optometrist.
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- I [Roman numeral for 1] (One-Liners)
- I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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- I Am (1) (Vegetables)
- Popeye quote: "I yam what I am."
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- I Am (2) (Asia: Southeast)
- "Are you going to Thailand?" "Yes, Siam."
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- I Bury Ya (Europe: Iberia)
- Do this homework now, lest Iberia under tons later.
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- I Can Saw (USA)
- "Arkansas a tree down in ten minutes!" boasted the lumberjack.
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- I Can't Say I Do (Expressions)
- "I think that you have a deep-seated fear of marriage. Do you know the symptoms." "I can't say I do." "Well, that's one of them."
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- I Deal (Tom Swifties)
- "Pass the cards," said Tom ideally.
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- I dine (Chemistry: Elements)
- Iodine only at the finest restaurants.
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- I Dream of Jeannie (Book Titles)
- Light Brown Hair: Audrey Mauve Jeannies
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- I Feel your Sadness (Book Titles)
- The Empath: Ophelia SadnessJG
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- I Hear (Africa)
- "Language in Geography class is filthy!" "Yes, Zaire too much cussing around here too."
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- I Know a (Two-Liners)
- Need an Ark? I Noah guy.
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- I Leaned Over (Book Titles)
- I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Phil Down
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- I Mailed a Letter (Book Titles)
- The Philippine Post Office: Imelda LetterJG
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- I Need a Job (Book Titles)
- Unemployed: Anita Jobb
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- I Ought To (Greek Letters)
- Iota punch you in the nose for saying that.
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- I Owe A (USA)
- "Iowa loan shark $10 000 and he's out to get me!"
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- I Pee (Book Titles)
- Rusty Bedsprings: I. P. Nightly
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- I Quit (Book Titles)
- Take This Job And Shove It: Ike WittJG
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- I Ran (Middle East)
- Iran the Boston Marathon in ten hours. I guess I lost.
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- I Refuse (Book Titles)
- No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuse
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- I Rid 'Em (Chemistry: Elements)
- Motto of the chemist exterminator: Iridium.
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- I Rode a Camel (Book Titles: Good)
- Desert Crossing: I. Rhoda Camel
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- I Run (Chemistry: Elements)
- Iron away from chemistry punsters.
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- I Run Quickly (Book Titles: Good)
- How I Win Races: Aaron Quigley
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- I Say A (Book Titles: Good)
- I'm a Chatterbox!: Isaiah Lott
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- I See (Meteorology)
- Fred was warned about how slippery it was. When he fell, he said "Icy what you mean!"
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- I See Dead People (Jokes)
- What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.
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- I See You (One-Liners)
- When people are recovering from eye surgery, do they wake up in the ICU?
A doctor saw the Invisible Man when she admitted him to the ICU.
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- I Shot the Sheriff (Music)
- The cobbler's song: "I Shod the Sheriff (But I Didn't Shoe his Deputy)."
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- I Sing (Jokes)
- What part of a cake reminds one of a karaoke bar? The icing.
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- I Wanna Hold Your Hand [Beatles Song] (Music)
- The favourite Beatles song of lizards is 'Iguana Hold Your Hand'.
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- I Wanna New House (Book Titles)
- My Seventh Husband: Ivana NewhouseJG
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- I Want to Know (Book Titles)
- Teach Me!: I. Wanda Know
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- I Was Right (Two-Liners)
- Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet is. It was a total guess, but I was right.
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- Ice Berg (Book Titles)
- In the Arctic Ocean: Isa Berg
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- Ice Cream (Ghosts)
- What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice scream.
"I ordered chocolate, not vanilla," I screamed.
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- Ice is Slippery (Book Titles)
- Why We Fall in Winter: Isis Slippery
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- Ice Sickles (One-Liners)
- You can manually harvest winter wheat with icicles.
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- Iceberg (Jokes)
- How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg.
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- Icily (Tom Swifties)
- "Shall I frost the cake?" Tom offered icily.
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- Icing (Hockey)
- For hockey players, their favourite part of a cake is the icing.
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- Icy (Tom Swifties)
- "Cryogenics is quackery!" Tom said icily.
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- I'd A Hoe (USA)
- If Idaho I'd go over this garden right now.
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- Idaho (Book Titles)
- The Garden State: Ida HoeJG
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- Ides (Tom Swifties)
- "Beware the 15th of March!" said Tom idly. [Dorothy Porter, April 25, 2004]
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- Idi [Amin] Sink (Tom Swifties)
- "It's a pity that Amin managed to escape from Uganda when his ship of state went under," said Tom idiosyncratically.
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- If You've Seen One You've Seen them All (Expressions)
- A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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- Ig Glue (One-Liners)
- In order to fix a broken snow fort, you can use igloo.
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- IKEA (company) (Two-Liners)
- Apple will make its car in Korea. It will fold flat and require some assembly and will be called iKia.
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- I'll Ask Her (USA)
- Alaska no questions and she'll tell me no lies.
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- I'll Be Back [from The Terminator] (Expressions)
- I went to the toy store and asked the assistant "Where are the Schwarzenegger dolls?" "Aisle B, back."
When the Schwarzenegger family decided to dress up as classical composers for Halloween, Arnold said "I'll be Bach".
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- I'll Be On (Toronto)
- "Where are you going?" "Albion the roof putting on new shingles."
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- I'll Be Seein' Ya (Book Titles)
- How to Say Goodbye to the Flower Girl: Abbey Zinnia
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- I'll Be Seein' Ya Later (Africa)
- A farewell from a traveller: "Abyssinia later."
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- I'll Cheer Ya (Africa)
- When you run the race I'll stand at the side and Algeria on to victory.
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- Ill Eagle (Tom Swifties)
- "Let's trap that sick bird," said Tom illegally.
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- I'll Explain (Book Titles: Good)
- You Don't Understand?: Alex Plain
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- Ill In Noise (USA)
- "You got sick at the loud rock concert?" "Yes, I got Illinois."
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- Ill Lust (Tom Swifties)
- "Alas, I am sick with love for the fair Igraine!" said Uther Pendragon illustriously (and achingly).
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- I'll Pull You (Europe: Italy)
- If you get stuck in the Italian Mud, Apulia out.
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- I'll Stir (Europe: United Kingdom)
- We can paint the room together. You stir the white paint and Ulster the red paint.
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- Illegal (Animals)
- You cannot cross an eagle with an eel because it's eeleagle.
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- Illuminati (One-Liners)
- Folks who get a bit too rabid about forcing people to change incandescent bulbs to fluorescents are illumi-Nazis.
Some people refer to those who refuse to change incandescent lightbulbs to fluorescents as wicked. I say they belong to a secret society - the Illumi-naughty.
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- Illusion (USA)
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was just an optical Aleutian.
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- Illustrate (Book Titles)
- How to Draw: Ellis Straitn
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- I'm a Double (Book Titles)
- Cloning: Irma Dubble II
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- I'm A Real Old (USA)
- "I'm 84 years old! Amarillo man with a lot to say, so sit down and listen!"
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- I'm Afraid (Book Titles)
- I'm Scared!: Emma FraidJG
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- I'm Anonymous (Book Titles)
- I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonymous
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- I'm Eighty (Jokes)
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye Matey!"
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- I'm Good (Cannibals)
- Be careful with your grammar in cannibal country. When asked how you are feeling, say "I'm fine", and not "I'm good".
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- I'm Only A (Chemistry)
- How can you expect me to do all these problems? Ammonia little boy!
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- I'm Wonderful (Book Titles)
- Jewish Egotists: Chaim Wonderful
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- Imagination (Book Titles)
- It's All In Your Head: Madge InationJG
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- Immoral (Book Titles: Good)
- Perverted Mushrooms: M. Morel
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- Imp in a Tent (Tom Swifties)
- "I run a fairground attraction called 'See a real demon for only one cent!'" said Tom impenitently.
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- Imp Parted (Tom Swifties)
- "I can split demons in two," Tom imparted.
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- Imp Rob (Tom Swifties)
- "Demons can be robbed," said Tom improbably.
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- Im-peck (Tom Swifties)
- "This chicken has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
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- Im-Peckable (One-Liners)
- I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!Pun.me
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- Im-Plaque (Tom Swifties)
- "I brush my teeth every five minutes," said Tom implacably.
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- Imp-Licit (Tom Swifties)
- "There's nothing wrong with demons," was Tom's implicit message.
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- Imp-Lied (Tom Swifties)
- "Gremlins must have done it!" Tom implied.
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- Import Ant (Tom Swifties)
- "Close the hatch! We're being invaded by bugs!" said Tom importantly.
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- Impostor (Jokes)
- What do you call a strand of spaghetti in a bowl of linguini? An impasta.
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- Imp-perious (Tom Swifties)
- "Promote that demon to the House of Lords," commanded Tom imperiously.
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- Impressed (Tom Swifties)
- "Boy, am I impressed!" said Tom as he joined the British Navy.
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- Impulse (Tom Swifties)
- "I keep picking up radio signals from outer space," said Tom impulsively.
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- In Bread (One-Liners)
- "If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich!"
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- In Cahoots (Two-Liners)
- I've been secretly plotting with Peruvian owls. We're Inca hoots.
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- In Choir (Tom Swifties)
- "May I join your group and sing, too?" Tom inquired.
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- In Cred you Louse (Tom Swifties)
- "Why you parasitic insect, our debts now exceed our assets!" said Tom incredulously.
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- In December (Book Titles: Good)
- When Is Christmas?: Cindy Sember
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- In Determinant (Tom Swifties)
- "I'm not sure how I feel about that particular matrix operation," said Tom indeterminately.
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- In Dull Gent (Tom Swifties)
- "There's safety in unexciting gentlemen," said Mary indulgently.
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- In Fur (Tom Swifties)
- "She must be wearing mink," Tom inferred.
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- In Gray She Ate (Tom Swifties)
- "She wore a smoke-coloured dress at dinner," said Tom ingratiatingly.
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- In Hot Water (Expressions)
- I should call myself Teabag because every time I open my mouth, I find myself in hot water.
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- In One Ear and Out the Other (Expressions)
- Studies have shown that cows produce more milk when the farmers talk to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
I no longer bother to tell people my New Year's resolutions. They just go in one year and out the other.
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- In Pain (Book Titles)
- A Trip to the Dentist: Yin Pain
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- In Sin You Ate (Tom Swifties)
- "You're a wicked glutton," Tom insinuated.
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- In Sip (Tom Swifties)
- "Just one more drink, please!" Tom said insipidly.
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- In Sist[ine] (Tom Swifties)
- "I'm not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting," Michelangelo insisted.
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- In Sync (Jokes)
- Why do people who are washing dishes work so well together? Because they are in sink with each other.
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- In Tent (Tom Swifties)
- "What I do best on a camping trip is sleep," said Tom intently.
"As soon as the rain stops, we'll break camp," said Tom intently.
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- In The A (India)
- India, er, event of a power failure, the geography exam will be, um, postponed.
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- In the End (Expressions)
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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- In the Pendant (One-Liners)
- If you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you can say you're independent.
"When I moved out, I got a locket with my picture in it." "You were independent?"
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- In tone (Tom Swifties)
- "This is not a black and white issue," Tom intoned.
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- In Verse (Mathematics)
- Mathematical functions aren't very poetic, but their inverses are.
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- In Vest (Money)
- A person wearing a three-piece suit is in jacket, in pants and invest.
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- In Voice (Music)
- Choir directors don't send bills, they send invoices.
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- Inaction (Two-Liners)
- Welcome to the Lazy Olympics! Stay tuned to see the athletes inaction!
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- Inch On (Asia: Korea)
- All they could do was Inchon, step by step, until the ice was crossed.
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- Inches (Animals)
- One linear foot of small birds = 12 finches.
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- Incidental (Tom Swifties)
- "Things are always happening to me," said Tom incidentally.
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- Incoherent (Tom Swifties)
- "The laser is broken," said Tom incoherently.
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- Increasing (Two-Liners)
- I'm looking at taking up origami as a hobby. My interest in it is in creasing.
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- Incubus (Two-Liners)
- A person once bought a used school bus and turned it into a mobile tattoo shop. He called it the "Ink You Bus" and gave demon-strations.
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- Incurred (Cheeses)
- Why is making cheese expensive? Because of all of the expenses in-curd.
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- Indentured (Dentist)
- A person with false teeth forced to work against his will is an indentured servant.
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- Indian (Chemistry: Elements)
- An inhabitant of India: Indium.
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- Indiana (Book Titles)
- Between Ohio and Illinois: Mindy Anna Borders
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- Indicate (Tom Swifties)
- "Use phenolphthalein," Tom indicated.
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- Indies Kated (Tom Swifties)
- "I sent Kathleen on a mission to the Antilles," Tom indicated.
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- Indifferent (Tom Swifties)
- "I learned a lot about women while I was in Paris," said Tom indifferently.
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- Indo Needs Ya (Asia: Southeast)
- "Your friend 'Indo' is trouble! Indonesia right away!"
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- Infant (Military)
- I've always wondered why one must be an adult in order to serve in the infant-ry.
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- Infections (Tom Swifties)
- "I like measles!" laughed Tom infectiously.
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- Infidel (Jokes)
- Which brand of computer is least favoured by ISIS? The Infi-Dell.
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- Ingredients (Book Titles)
- What I Need for the Chocolate Bugs Recipe: Ingrid E. Ants
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- Initial (Tom Swifties)
- "Have it monogrammed," was Tom's initial suggestion.
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- Inject (Tom Swifties)
- "I hope you're not afraid of needles," Tom injected.
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- Ink (Astronomy)
- My pen just ran out of Encke.
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- Inn Appropriate (Tom Swifties)
- "I'm taking over this hotel," said Tom inappropriately.
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- Inn Con Sequential (Tom Swifties)
- "I come to this hotel year after year for the science fiction convention," said Tom inconsequentially.
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- Inn Scribe (Mathematics)
- What you call a person who wrote for an Inn: Inscribe.
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- Inning (Baseball)
- A baseball player's trip to a hotel could be called an inning.
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- Innocent (Jokes)
- Which American president was the least guilty? Abraham Lincoln. He's in a cent.
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- Insane (Misc)
- If you jump off a bridge in Paris, you are in Seine.
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- Insects (Religion)
- With all their praying, what religion are mantises? It varies; they're all in sects.
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- Insense (Tom Swifties)
- "I'm easily moved to anger," said Tom insensibly.
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- Inside Joke (Jokes)
- What's the best kind of joke to tell during isolation? An inside joke.
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- Insist (Anatomy)
- "I don't want to!" "I really must in-cyst."
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- Insolent (One-Liners)
- Are sassy diabetics insulent?
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- Insolvent (Chemistry)
- Chemists don't go broke, they become insolvent.
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- Instrument (Music)
- An excellent music teacher is instrumental in getting kids to learn and love it.
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- Insulation (Redefinitions)
- Soundproofing is dinsulation.
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- Integrated (One-Liners)
- If a circuit is integrated, does that mean its white and non-white components are working together?
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- Intend To (Two-Liners)
- I hate auto-correct. It always makes me say things I don't Nintendo.
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- Intensity (Tom Swifties)
- "Let's have a crimson display -- and turn up the brightness," said Tom with passionate intensity.
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- Interest (Money)
- Old joke: Why is it that women with the least principle get the most interest?
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- Interpose (Tom Swifties)
- "Cheryl, you stand between Ella and Pauline," interposed the photographer.
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- Inverse (Misc)
- A backward poet writes inverse.
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- Invest-gate [as in Watergate] (Tom Swifties)
- "I've got to find out why my broker got fired," said Tom as he investigated.
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- Investigator (Jokes)
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
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- Investments (Jokes)
- How are a priest and a financial advisor similar? A financial advisor works with investments, while a priest works in vestments. And both pray to their chosen Deity that they're doing it right...
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- Io Dull (Tom Swifties)
- "Something will have to be done to reduce the brightness of that Jovian satellite," Tom yodelled.
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- Irate (Two-Liners)
- I took the P out of a pirate. He got really angry.
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- Iron (Tom Swifties)
- "Steel is a very useful alloy," said Tom ironically.
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- Ironic (Tom Swifties)
- "Your drip-dries are crumpled," said the laundress ironically.
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- Irony (One-Liners)
- Is irony what you use to combat wrinkly?
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- Irrational (Mathematics)
- Pi does not belong in philosophy. It's too irrational.
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- Irrational [number] (Tom Swifties)
- "There is no end to this sequence of digits," said Tom irrationally.
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- Irrelevant (Elephant)
- What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.
What's big and gray and doesn't matter? Irrelephant.
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- Is a Door There (Book Titles)
- I Hit the Wall: Isadore There
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- Is He Back Yet (Book Titles)
- Cheating on His Wife: Izzy BackyetJG
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- Is Mir (Asia: Turkey)
- "What Izmir doing?" "Mir is going to kill the guy who writes these puns."
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- Is Real (Middle East)
- "Is it fake?" "No, it Israel."
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- Issues (One-Liners)
- An excellent self-help slogan: Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
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- Istanbul (Book Titles: Good)
- Turkish Cattle: Tristan Bull
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- It Dawned on Me (Expressions)
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
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- It Don't Mean a Thing… (Song) (Two-Liners)
- Some kids only like playgrounds if they have swings. Their theme song could be "It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got that Swing."
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- It Grew on Me (Expressions)
- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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- It Hit Me (Expressions)
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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- It's A Long (Greek Letters)
- Epsilon time since I saw you last.
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- It's Not the End of the World (One-Liners)
- So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!
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- It's Too Late (Book Titles)
- Manana: Stew LaytJG
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- It's Warm (Two-Liners)
- My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered… "Swarm."
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- It's Wrong (One-Liners)
- If this dress isn't right for you, it sarong.
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- I've [I have] an Alibi (Book Titles)
- I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibi
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