Pun Dictionary: L Entries

L Is (Toronto)
Ellis the twelfth letter of the alphabet.
La Bra Door (Canada)
In order to get into Victoria's Secret, one must walk through Labrador.
La Goon (Physical)
Pseudo-French for "the thug" is Lagoon.
Laced (Two-Liners)
I bought some shoes off a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Lack a Daisy [2001 A Space Odyssey] (Tom Swifties)
"I've forgotten that song Dr. Chandra taught me," said HAL lackadaisically.
Lack Conic (Tom Swifties)
"No ellipses, no parabolas, and no hyperbolas," said Tom laconically.
Lack Toes (Jokes)
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Lactose Intolerant (One-Liners)
I have to eat breakfast with toast because I'm lack-toast intolerant.Pun.me
I offends me that lilacs have no feet because I am lilac-toes intolerant.
Lady Chatterly (Tom Swifties)
"I'm having an affair with my gamekeeper," said the lady chattily.
Lam (Food)
"Sam the Sheep broke out of the Pen last week." "Yep, he's on the lamb now."
Lamb The (Greek Letters)
Give da lambda oats and it will grow up to become a sheep.
Lambada (Animals)
What's a sheep's favourite Latin dance? The Lambada.
Lame (Tom Swifties)
"I think I've lost my leg, sir," reported Uxbridge lamely. "By God, so you have!" replied Wellington generally.
Lance Boil (Book Titles)
Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle JG
Land (Anatomy)
Before operating, an endocrinologist might say "Gland ho!"
Landslide (Jokes)
What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill? A lambslide.
Language (Computers)
"@#*&^!!?{! programs!" "You watch your language!"
Lariat (Book Titles)
Not a Lasso!: Larry Ett
Lasagne (Book Titles)
Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya JG
Lass Study (Tom Swifties)
"I've made a study of girls," said Tom lassitudinously.
Last Legs (Expressions)
When your shoes are falling apart, does it mean they're on their last legs?
Last of Mohicans (Book Titles)
James Fenimore Cooper: Lester Moe Hickens s
Last Thing I need (Expressions)
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I said "That's the last thing I need!"
Last, But Not Least (Expressions)
Someone bought the only car left at the dealership. It was last, but not leased.
Lauding 'em (One-Liners)
Some people say my puns are sleep-inducing, but I keep laudanum anyways.
Laughing his Head Off (Jokes)
What goes "Ha, ha, ha, plop"? A man laughing his head off.
Laughing Stock (One-Liners)
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.
Laundry (One-Liners)
Can you wash grass in the lawndry?
Lauriate (Book Titles)
Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate JG
Law Abider (Book Titles)
Honest Citizen: Laura Byder A
Law and Order (Book Titles)
Crackdown: Lauren Order JG
Law Suits (Jokes)
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
Lawb-sters (One-Liners)
If people in the Mob are mobsters, why aren't lawyers called lobsters?
Lawn Mower (Book Titles)
How to Cut Grass: Lon Moore n
Lawrence Welk (Book Titles)
Music of the Sea: Lawrence Whelk
Lay Of the Land (Two-Liners)
Surveyors like Star Wars. They're always looking at the Leia the land.
Lay Us (Asia: Southeast)
"Now we Laos down to sleep; we pray the Lord our souls to keep."
Layer Cake (Food)
When the heroes and villains are having dinner in their hideouts, do they have lair cake for dessert?
Lead (Chemistry)
A chemist can be lead to water, but cannot be made to drink.
Lead On (Europe: Iberia)
If Macbeth had been in Spain, his final challenge would have been: "Leon Macduff! ..."
Leader (Measures)
Weights and measures inspectors like to play follow the litre.
Leads (Europe: United Kingdom)
My Geography prof Leeds a double life.
Leaf Raker (Book Titles)
Nordic Groundskeepers: Leif Raker JG
Leaking (Book Titles)
The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King
Leaky Faucet (Book Titles)
You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette b
Leap (One-Liners)
Do high jumpers perform better in leap years?
Leap of Faith (Expressions)
A priest, a rabbi and an imam went sky-diving. They called it a leap of faith.
Leapt On (Physics)
"The particle physicist jumped on the bandwagon?" "No, he lepton it."
Lear [jet] (Tom Swifties)
"She even flies her own jet," Tom leered.
Lease a Car (Book Titles)
Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr JG
Leave Me (South America)
"Go away! Get lost! Scram! Lima alone!"
Leaves (1) (Hockey)
The way some players behave on the ice Leafs much to be desired.
Leaves (2) (Trees/Shrubs)
When a tree needs to move, it packs up its trunk and leaves.
Led Zeppelin (Music)
I got a model of a dirigible and when I put little lights on it, it began to play "Stairway to Heaven". It was an LED Zeppelin.
Leg (Anatomy)
At last, the runners have entered the last leg of the marathon.
Leg Up (Cannibals)
The competitive cannibal is said to have a leg up on the competition.
Legendary (One-Liners)
The Mythical Cheese is legendairy.
Legends (One-Liners)
Stories about my feet are not myths. They're leg-ends.
Leia [Princess] (Basketball)
The Star Wars character who was most into basketball was Princess Lay-Up.
Lemmon (Cars)
Would you buy a car from the actor Jack Lemon?
Lemon (Mathematics)
A sour citrus fruit: Lemma.
Len Sing (USA)
"Len is a terrific musician." "Yes, but can Lansing?"
Lend a Hand (Book Titles)
Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand JG
Cannibals are good friends. They're always ready to lend a hand when you need help.
Len's Down (Toronto)
"Hey Fred, where's Len?" "Lansdowne by the creek, fishing."
Leotard (Book Titles)
Tight Situation: Leah Tard JG
Leroy (Money)
"Bad, bad, lira Brown, baddest man in the whole damn town..."
Les MisÚrables (Tom Swifties)
"You call this a musical?" said Les miserably.
Lesbian (Book Titles)
Gay Vegetables: Les Bean
Less is More (Book Titles)
The Shrinking Society: Les Ismoor JG
Less Riches (Book Titles)
Bad Investment: Les Riches j
Lesser of Two Evils (Expressions)
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Let 'Er Rip (Hot Cross Puns)
What do you get when you cross alphabet soup with a laxative? Letter Rip.
Let Out (Two-Liners)
A tailor let out my pants. I had to chase them all over the yard before I caught them.
Let Us (Food)
Why won't you lettuce in to tell you Knock-knock jokes?
Lethal Weapon (Book Titles)
More Mindless Violence: Lee Fullweapon A
Leviathan (Jokes)
How can skinny jeans also be huge? If they're Levi-a-thins.
Levitation (Book Titles)
Jewish Mysticism: Lev Itation l
Lexicon (Book Titles)
A Dictionary of Swindles: Lexi Conn.
Liability (One-Liners)
A criminal's best asset is his also his lie ability.Pun.me
Liar (Music)
The least truthful musical instrument is the lyre.
Libby A (Africa)
"Libby wants a book." "Okay, give Libya Geography text."
Libido (Book Titles)
Heat Makes Me Rise: Libby Dough
Lid (Europe: United Kingdom)
To close the jar, tighten the Lydd.
Lies (Jokes)
How does a politician / lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side.
Lieutenants (Book Titles)
Theft Among Arthropods: The Lieutenants l
Lift Off (Book Titles)
Rocket Launch: Cliff Toff
Lift the Spirits (Jokes)
An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
Light (Christmas)
How can you make Santa Claus light? Stick his finger in the socket.
Light [beer] (Tom Swifties)
"This bud's for you," said Tom lightly.
Light Sleeper (Jokes)
Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.
Light Snack (Jokes)
Why did the monster eat a light bulb? Because he needed a light snack.
Light Wait (Redefinitions)
Lightweight: The time between flipping the switch and the bulb turning on.
Lightening (Meteorology)
Knowledge of thunderstorm mechanics can often be en-lightning.
Lighter [that ignites something] (Jokes)
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? The hippo is heavy and the Zippo is a little lighter.
Light-Headed (Expressions)
I put a flashing light on my bike helmet to help me be seen at night. Instead, it made me dizzy because I was light-headed.
Lily Livered (Book Titles)
Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard JG
Limb (Trees/Shrubs)
Some people are willing to go out on a limb to conserve forests.
Limb Burger (Food)
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger.
Lime Stoned (Geology)
Storting powdered citrus fruit got the geologist limestoned.
Limp (Anatomy)
Does a lame doctor walk with a lymph?
Limply (Tom Swifties)
"Please save the branches of our trees," said Tom limply.
Line (Food)
A straight lime is the shortest distance between two points.
Linguine (One-Liners)
If I made a hotdog out of pasta, should it be called a ling-weenie?
Links (Animals)
Biologists are always hunting for the missing lynx in the evolutionary process.
Linoleum (Book Titles)
Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
Lion Will Eat You (Book Titles)
Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha JG
Lip [disrespect] (Cannibals)
Don't sass cannibals. They don't take lip from anybody.
Lips (Anatomy)
Morty The Mouth's favourite song: "Tip Toe, Through the Two Lips".
Lisp (Computers)
When thomeone talkth like thith, he hath a Lisp.
Lisp [programming language] (Tom Swifties)
"I like writing artificially intelligent programs," Tom lisped.
List Less (Tom Swifties)
"Gentlemen: Please send me your catalogue," wrote Tom, listlessly.
Litter [chair carried by servants] (Tom Swifties)
"I want to be carried in a covered couch," said Tom literally.
Litter Ate (Tom Swifties)
"Is it true that some animals will eat their own babies?" asked Tom literately.
Littering (Animals)
When the dog gave birth to puppies next to the side of the road, it was cited for littering.
Little Horse (Tom Swifties)
"I want a pony!" said Tom a little hoarsely.
Little House on the Prairie (One-Liners)
A story about a pony on the pampas could be called "Little Horse on the Prairie".
Little in Common (Expressions)
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
Little Rock (USA)
A piece of gravel in Arkansas is a Little Rock.
Live Only A (Europe: Eastern)
My downtown apartment is great! I Livonia few minutes from work!
Liver (Anatomy)
A person who lives can be called a liver.
Liver Pool (Europe: United Kingdom)
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Livid (Chemistry)
Organic chemists get lipid with rage.
Liz Bun (Europe: Iberia)
Liz opened a Portuguese bread shop, calling it the "Lisbon".
Loaf (Food)
Silly Billy was told he was well-bred because he was always loafing around.
Locks (One-Liners)
Can a woman on a boat in Scotland drop locks of her hair in the locks between lochs, while eating bagels with lox and picking the locks on her door?
Loco Motives (Jokes)
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
Loft (Tom Swifties)
"Choir up!" commanded the church conductor loftily.
Log Rhythm (Mathematics)
The musical beat for cut tree limbs: Logarithm.
Logger (Jokes)
What is the preferred beer of lumberjacks? Lager.
Long (Anatomy)
Combat medic's marching song: "It's a Lung Way to Tipperary".
Longer (Food)
I asked the bakery if they had shortbread. They told me they don't make it any longer.
Loo Pins (One-Liners)
Lupins are what you find on a lavatory's bulletin board.
Look Out (Book Titles)
Danger!: Luke Out
Looked Surprised (Expressions)
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Looking into It (Expressions)
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Loop [programming] (Tom Swifties)
"No, you have to do it again," reiterated Tom loopily.
Loose Elastic (Book Titles)
Fallen Underwear: Lucy Lastic JG
Loose Fur (One-Liners)
Can we name shedding pets after the fallen angel Lucifer?
Lorentz (Toronto)
"No, no! Lorentz studied human behavior. Lawrence wrote poetry!"
Lornadoon (Book Titles)
Scots in the Desert: Lorna Dune
Lorry Driver (Book Titles)
I Guide Large English Vehicles: Laurie Driver
Loser (Book Titles)
Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr JG
Losers (Music)
If people who work are called workers, why aren't people who play the blues called bluesers?
Losing (Asia: Philippines)
The team has been defeated 18 times in a row. They're on a real Luzon streak.
Loss for Words (Expressions)
I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
Lost a Lot (Animals)
We ocelot of money in the stock market crash.
Lost Her (Canada)
I found the love of my life, I Gloucester and I found her again.
Lost My Case (One-Liners)
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage, but apparently I lost my case.
Lot Of (Names)
"I won a million bucks in the lottery!" "That's a Lotta money! Can I have some?"
Lot of Dust (Book Titles)
Good Housekeeping: Lotta Dust
Lot of Noise (Book Titles)
Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze JG
Lots (Europe: Eastern)
People in Poland have Lodz of problems to deal with now.
Lou Can (Canada)
"But can Lou survive all those Pun Tests?" "If anybody can do it, Lucan."
Loud and Clear (Book Titles)
The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear JG
Louisiana (Book Titles)
Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana JG
Love (Baseball)
When she accidentally beaned him with her catcher's mitt, he knew it was glove at first sight.
Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
Love [tennis - zero score] (Tom Swifties)
"What's the score in the Stevie Wonder - Ray Charles tennis game?" asked Tom lovingly.
Loved her Still (Expressions)
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
Low (Jokes)
Why are there no floods in Paris? Because the water is always l'eau.
Lowest (Names)
I got 6% in a Math test once. It was the Lois mark the teacher ever gave!
Lowest Denominator (Book Titles)
I Love Fractions: Lois Denominator
Loyalty (Australasia)
Friends from the Loyalty Islands will always stand by you.
Loyola [founder of Jesuits] (Tom Swifties)
"I always pray to St. Ignatius," said Tom loyally.
Luau (Book Titles)
Hawaiian Parties are Amazing!: Lou Wow
Lucifer (One-Liners)
Pet hair that is lying around the house is devilish because it is Loose Fur.
A devilishly sticky brand of adhesive is Glucifer.
Luck Now (India)
I need to throw ten sixes to win. Boy, do I need Lucknow.
Luke Has Measles (Book Titles)
He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles
Lukewarm (Book Titles)
Not So Hot: Luke Warm JG
Lumber (Tom Swifties)
"I chop down trees for a living," said Tom lumberingly.
Lunatic (One-Liners)
People who go nuts over lighter-than-air travel are balloonatics.
Lunch (Astronomy)
Sign on NASA scientist's door: "Out to launch."
Lund (Europe: United Kingdom)
When finished a lecture, Professor Lund says "London."
Lute (Music)
A pirate's favourite musical instrument is the loot.
Lying (Animals)
This beast cannot tell the truth because it is a lion.
Win-Free (Sports)
What do the [losing team name] and Oprah have in common? They're both win-free.

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