- Nag (Tom Swifties)
- "I told you not to ride that horse," Tom nagged.
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- Nail Polish (Book Titles)
- I Make Hands Pretty: Nell Polish
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- Nailed It (Expressions)
- After making the perfect hammer blow, you should say "I nailed it!"
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- Nails (Jokes)
- What do nervous carpenters do? They bite their nails.
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- Nan Tuck It (USA)
- "Nan doesn't know how to put the sheet on the bed." "Nantucket under the corners like in the hospitals."
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- Nana, I Mow (Canada)
- Grandma: "Who was the good kid who cut the grass?" Grandkid: "Nanaimo!"
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- Nantucket (Book Titles)
- East Coast Resorts: Nan TuckettJG
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- Nap Tune (Astronomy)
- A ditty to put you to sleep: Neptune.
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- Narcissist (Jokes)
- What do you call a Viking that is full of himself? A Norse-icisst.
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- Nasal Twang (Tom Swifties)
- "I play the guitar with my nose!" Tom boasted, with a nasal twang.
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- NASCAR (Daytona Beach) (Book Titles)
- Date on a Beach: Nash Carr
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- Natalie / Natale (Tom Swifties)
- "What would be a good name for a girl born on Christmas Day?" asked Tom, adjusting his tie nattily.
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- Nattily (Book Titles: Good)
- Ready to Party: Natalie Dressed
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- Naught (Tom Swifties)
- "You're a real zero," said Tom naughtily.
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- Naughty (Christmas)
- Why was E the only letter to get a Christmas present? Because all of the other letters were not E.
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- Naughty or Nice (Book Titles)
- Santa's Checking His List: Nadia Nice
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- Navy [blue] (Tom Swifties)
- "Boy, am I feeling blue!" said Tom as he joined the British navy.
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- Nay (Animals)
- Why are horses so negative? They are neigh sayers.
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- Nay Sayer (Book Titles)
- I Disagree With That!: N. A. Sayer
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- NCAA (Book Titles)
- American College Athletics: Nancy DubblelayJG
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- Near It (Astronomy)
- "Am I far from it?" "No, you're Nereid."
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- Near-Death Experience (Expressions)
- I plugged my ears with my fingers and had a near-deaf experience.
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- Necessary (Book Titles: Good)
- Why Clothing is Required in India: Vanessa Sari
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- Nectarine (Vampires)
- What's a vampire's favourite fruit? Necktarines.
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- Need Eep (Tom Swifties)
- "When I'm worried, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry 'Eep!'" said Tom, knee-deep in trouble.
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- Need the Dough (Expressions)
- Bakers have to work because they knead the dough.
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- Need to Know (Expressions)
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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- Needles (Plants: Trees)
- Sewing is easy in a coniferous forest, since needles abound.
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- Negative [charge] (Tom Swifties)
- "Someone stole my electrolytic capacitor!" Tom charged negatively.
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- Negligée (Tom Swifties)
- "Honey, put on that see-through thing," said Tom negligently.
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- Neither (Africa)
- He got Niger a good mark nor a bad mark in Geography.
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- Neon (Anatomy)
- Would a leg injury clinic have a knee-on sign?
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- Nervous tic (Tom Swifties)
- "My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight," said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.
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- Nervous Wreck (Jokes)
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
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- Ness (Tom Swifties)
- "The monster in the lake has eaten my cake," said Tom necessarily.
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- Neutralize (Chemistry)
- Why does the military use acid? To neutralize the enemy base.
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- Never (Europe: Iberia)
- James Bond movie set in Spain: "Never say Navarre again".
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- Never a Dull Moment (Expressions)
- Bernard Cornwell has written a large number of historical fiction novels featuring Richard Sharpe. They are full of action and excitement, and little wonder, since there's never a dull moment when Sharpe is around!
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- Neverland (Jokes)
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he never lands.
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- New (1) (Animals)
- "I'm fine, thanks. What's gnu with you?"
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- New (2) (Greek Letters)
- Hi there! What's nu with you?
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- New Ark (USA)
- If Noah were reincarnated, he could go to New Jersey to build a Newark.
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- New Faces (Two-Liners)
- Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see some new faces today, and I am really disappointed.
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- New Heights (Expressions)
- The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.
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- New Rot (Tom Swifties)
- "I got five cavities since my last dentist's visit," said Tom neurotically.
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- New Ton (Physics)
- That which replaced the old ton: Newton.
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- News Feed (One-Liners)
- Do journalists eat news feed?
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- Nice (Geology)
- You sent her flowers? What a gneiss thing to do.
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- Nice [France] (Tom Swifties)
- "You may take a vacation in the south of France," said Tom nicely.
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- Nicholas Cage [actor] (Two-Liners)
- I have a bird cage made out of aluminum, not nickel. It's a nickeless cage.
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- Nick (Anatomy)
- "Thank goodness you've come! You got here just in the neck of time!"
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- Nicked Shaving (Book Titles)
- Dull Razor: Nick ShavingJG
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- Nicotine (Book Titles)
- Smoker's Cough: Nick O'TeenJG
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- Niece (Europe: France)
- A French girl can be a Nice, but never a nephew.
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- Nigh Eve (Tom Swifties)
- "Why are you lying down so close to me?" asked Adam naively.
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- Night Row Gin (Chemistry: Elements)
- A drink to consume while rowing long after sunset: Nitrogen.
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- Night Shifts (Two-Liners)
- I have to work late at the museum, moving suits of armour. I hate knight shifts.
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- Nights (Jokes)
- Why was King Arther always tired? All those sleepless knights.
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- Nile (Africa)
- The Egyptians weren't destroyed, they were a-Nile-ated.
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- Nim Bus (Meteorology)
- A large vehicle suitable for carrying nims: Nimbus.
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- Ninety Degrees (F) (Two-Liners)
- If you feel cold, stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees.
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- Nip and Tuck (Asia: Japan)
- A name for a Japanese plastic surgery clinic could be Nippon Tuck.
What do you get when you cross a tuxedo rental shop with a plastic surgery clinic? A store called called "Nips and Tux".
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- Nipple (Asia: South)
- One can find a Nepal on a woman's breast.
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- Nippy Gone (Canada)
- When Mr. Nippy finally left, we said "Nipigon!"
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- No (Meteorology)
- Meteorologist on Broadway: "There's snow business like show business..."
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- No Avail (Book Titles: Good)
- My Lost Causes: Noah Veil
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- No Bell (Jokes)
- Knock-knock. Who's there? Nobel. Noble who? Nobel, so I knock-knocked.
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- No Body Nose (Jokes)
- What do you call a person with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!
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- No Effort (One-Liners)
- I could win the Laziness Olympics with no effort at all.
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- No Hell No Heaven (Book Titles)
- I'm an Atheist: Noel Noheaven
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- No ing (Tom Swifties)
- "I tend to use infinitives rather than gerunds," said Tom knowingly.
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- No Key (One-Liners)
- How can I unlock my phone if it's a Nokia?
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- No Kidding (Expressions)
- Joe: "I am a proponent of birth control for goats!" Moe: "No kidding?"
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- No L (Christmas)
- ...i, j, k, m, n, o... is the Christmas alphabet because there's Noel.
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- No Man is an Island (Expressions)
- Where do optometrists and ophthalmologists come from? Noman. Noman is an eye-land.
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- No Offence (Book Titles)
- Political Correctness: Noah Fences
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- No One Can Hear You Scream (Expressions)
- Astronaut 1: "I can't find any cream for my coffee!" Astronaut 2: "In space, no one can here use cream."
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- No One Has Heard Them (Expressions)
- I know a lot of jokes in sign language. And I guarantee you that nobody has ever heard them.
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- No One is Laughing Now (Expressions)
- They mocked me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. I got into the business anyway, and no one is laughing now.
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- No Pun Intended (Expressions)
- There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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- No Purchase Necessary (Two-Liners)
- I am giving away my legless parrot. No perches necessary.
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- No Shit (Misc)
- "Dr. Watson, what is the brand of this enema?" "No Shit Sherlock." "Ah, it's alimentary, my dear Watson."
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- No Strings Attached (Expressions)
- A broken guitar can be given as a gift with no strings attached.
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- No Ted (Tom Swifties)
- "I don't see Edward," Tom noted.
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- No Way (Europe: Scandinavia)
- There's Norway I can do 100 geography questions for tomorrow.
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- No wing (Tom Swifties)
- "Flying saucers use antigravity to stay up," said Tom knowingly.
"Of course I'm aware ostriches can't fly!" chirped Tom knowingly.
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- No Words to Describe (Two-Liners)
- I just bought a thesaurus, and when I looked, I saw that all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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- Noah's Ark (Book Titles)
- The Great Flood: Noah ZarkJG
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- Nobel Prize (One-Liners)
- A farmer that successfully raised lesbian cows won a no-bull prize for agriculture.
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- Noble Cause (One-Liners)
- A crow that prefers to perch only on cows is a no-bull caws.
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- Nobody (Skeletons)
- Why didn't the skeleton go out trick-or-treating? He had no body to go with.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
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- Nobody's Fool (Expressions)
- An unemployed jester is nobody's fool.
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- No-Fly Zone (Misc)
- In the "good old days" in Scotland, the lads wore kilts and the lasses wore dresses. No pants anywhere. I guess it was the first no-fly zone.
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- Noise (Tom Swifties)
- "You could always sound-proof your apartment," Tom allowed noisily.
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- None Work (Jokes)
- Why is it so hard to tell jokes about retired people? None of them work.
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- Non-Judgemental (Tom Swifties)
- "The proof of the pudding is in the eating," said Tom nonjudgementally.
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- Nonplussed (Tom Swifties)
- "That just doesn't add up," said Tom, nonplussed.
"I did lots of subtraction, multiplication and division problems!" said Adam, non-plussed.
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- Noob (Africa)
- The part of Africa that supplies novice gamers is Nubia.
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- Nor a Lender Be (Book Titles: Good)
- Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee
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- North Stars (Hockey)
- The members of the North Stars moonlight as ships navigator's helpers.
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- Nostalgia (One-Liners)
- Feelings of wistfulness around food are called noshtalgia.
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- Not (Baked)
- Why do they call it a pretzel? Because it's knot bread. Yes, this joke is a bit twisted.
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- Not a Tolkien (Tom Swifties)
- "It's a bad hobbit," said Tom, not at all keenly.
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- Not Allowed (Book Titles)
- Noise is Forbidden!: Nada Loud
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- Not for Profit (Expressions)
- Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.
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- Not Quite (Book Titles)
- The Economy is Recovering!: Knott Quitel
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- Not Tea (One-Liners)
- People who are overly chauvinistic about their hot drinks say that tea is good and not tea is bad.
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- Noteworthy (Tom Swifties)
- "The performance was equal to the music," said Tom noteworthily.
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- Nothing (Expressions)
- To the person who invented zero: Thanks for nothing.
I asked my dog what two minus two is, and he said nothing.
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- Nothing is Impossible (Expressions)
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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- Nothing to Go On (Expressions)
- All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
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- Novel (Jokes)
- Why is Covid-19 called "Novel corona virus"? It's a long story.
Someone told me that I should write a book. That's a novel concept.
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- Now You See Them (Expressions)
- I build The Museum of Modern Punning out of cardboard boxes on my front lawn, but the recycling folks took it away. Now museum, now you don't.
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- Nudity (Redefinitions)
- A little song to sing when the old ditty gets stale and boring.
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- Nudnik (Book Titles)
- The Annoying Santa: Knut Nick Claus
A naked Santa is an annoying person because he's a nude Nick.
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- Null (?) (Tom Swifties)
- "Flames to /dev/null, please," directed Tom nihilistically.
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- Number (Mathematics)
- While most puns make me feel numb, math puns make me feel number.
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- Nun (One-Liners)
- When I first heard about the TV show The Flying Nun, I thought that it was about the Mitsubishi Zero.
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- OK (Jokes)
- Did you hear about the man who was cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
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