- O Shun (Misc)
- I refuse to have anything to do with the letter O when I'm at the ocean.
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- O+ [positive][blood type] (Two-Liners)
- "How would you rate the movie 'Book of Blood'?" "Oh, positively."
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- Oak Lahoma (Plants: Trees)
- Build your home from oak wood in Oklahoma.
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- Oak Wood (Toronto)
- The tree which gives acorns to squirrels gives Oakwood to us.
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- Oar Deal (Two-Liners)
- Did you hear about the huge paddle sale? It was quite an ordeal.
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- Oar Fan (One-Liners)
- Have sympathy for the person who really likes rowing, for s/he is an orphan.
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- Oar Kids (Plants: Flowers)
- I always thought that orchids were two boys propelling a rowboat.
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- Ob Served? (Tom Swifties)
- "This Neanderthal needs something to eat," Tom observed.
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- Obese (Book Titles)
- Overweight Vegetables: O. Beets
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- Obesity (Book Titles)
- I'm Always Hungry: O. B. CityJG
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- Oblong (One-Liners)
- Stretching an ellipse makes it oblonger.
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- Obtuse [angle] (Tom Swifties)
- "What's a wide-angle lens?" asked Tom obtusely.
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- Obtusely (Tom Swifties)
- "But many angles are greater than 90 degrees," said Tom obtusely.
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- Ocean (Tom Swifties)
- "I haven't a notion," said Poseidon when the sea dried up.
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- Odds [gambling] (Tom Swifties)
- "That horse looks like a good bet at 75 to 3," said Tom oddly.
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- Odds Against (Mathematics)
- I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
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- Oder (Europe: Eastern)
- A geographer who writes odes is an Oder.
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- Of (Asia)
- Ob course I hab a cold. Why else would I tog this way?
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- Off [brand of insect repellant] (Expressions)
- There was going to be a fancy naming ceremony for a new bug repellent, but it was called off at the last minute.
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- Off and Back (Music)
- "He'll return in a minute?" "Yes, he's so fast he's Offenbach before you know it."
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- Off the Street (Expressions)
- I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.
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- Off the Top of Your Head (Tom Swifties)
- "Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.
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- Off-Colour [beige] (Tom Swifties)
- "A prostitute says 'Aren't you finished yet?', a nymphomaniac says 'Is that all?', and a wife says 'Beige... we should definitely paint the ceiling beige'," was Tom's off-colour joke.
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- Off-Handed [amputation of hands] (Tom Swifties)
- "I was caught stealing in Iran," said Tom offhandedly.
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- Official (Redefinitions)
- Oafficial: An idiot in a position of minor power.
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- Off-Peak (Expressions)
- When people go to the back country to ski off mountain tops, do they look for discounts for off-peak days?
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- Oh Dear (Expressions)
- Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
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- Oh Make A (Greek Letters)
- "Would you like me to make a cake or cookies?" "Omega cake, please!"
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- Oh Man (Middle East)
- You broke the window? Oman are you ever in big trouble!
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- Oh My Gosh (Book Titles)
- Surprised!: Omar Gosh
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- Oh Say Can (Asia: Japan)
- How the Japanese begin the American national anthem: "Osaka you see..."
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- Oh Say Can You See (Book Titles)
- Star Spangled Barrio: Jose CanuseeJG
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- Oh this Leg Hurts (Book Titles)
- Pain in My Body: Otis Leghurts
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- Oh Well (Astronomy)
- Lowell, I guess we won't be able to see Pluto tonight after all.
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- Oh's Ark (USA)
- Ying Oh's Floating Menagerie was dubbed the "Ozark" by a clever punster.
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- Oil of Olay (Misc)
- The favourite skin cream of Spanish bullfighters is Oil of Olé.
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- Oilers (Hockey)
- The Oilers hockey team is on call in case of a lubrication crisis.
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- Ointment & Treatment (Jokes)
- What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment.
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- Oise [river in Paris] (Tom Swifties)
- "I was in a riot in Paris," Tom noised abroad.
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- OK Corral (Book Titles: Good)
- Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale
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- Ole Factory (Anatomy)
- Where are noses made? In the olfactory!
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- Olfactory (Book Titles)
- Swedish Perfumeries: Ole Factoryl
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- Olive Branch (Book Titles)
- The Peace Mission: Olive BranchJG
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- Omlette (Eggs)
- Eggs prepared for meditation are ohm-lettes.
What did the egg say when it was set on fire? "Om lit!"
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- On Bikes (Jokes)
- A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. I told her "That's impossible. My dogs don't own bikes."
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- On Its (Geology)
- Put Nick's book onyx shelf where it belongs.
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- On Me (Expressions)
- What did one plate say to the other? "Tonight, dinner's on me."
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- On the Fly (One-Liners)
- I wonder if it's a good idea for pilots and skydivers to learn on the fly.
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- On the House (Expressions)
- Why won't roofers work for free? After all, the shingles are on the house!
If I tell you two roof jokes, you need only pay me for the second one, as the first one is on the house.
Why does Santa not have to pay for parking? Because it's on the house.
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- On the Other Hand (Expressions)
- I broke a finger at work today. On the other hand, things are still OK.
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- One Damn Thing After Another (Expressions)
- Some days are like a parade in Hell: one damned thing after another.
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- One Night Stand (Expressions)
- A wild fling with a person of your preferred gender, a bedside table or a rack for a suit of armour: either way, you have a one-knight stand.
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- One of the Pack (Book Titles: Good)
- Where Wolves: Juan F. Deepak
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- One Size Fits All (Expressions)
- The Grim Reaper's tool is great, no matter how big he is, because one scythe fits all.
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- One Star [rating] (One-Liners)
- If I had to rate this solar system, I'd give it one star.
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- One to One (Book Titles)
- Personal Tutoring: Juan TouwanA
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- One Ton (Book Titles)
- Two Thousand Pounds!: Juan Ton
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- One with Everything (Expressions)
- Buddha walked up to a hotdog vendor and said "Make me one with everything."
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- One-Night Stand (One-Liners)
- Any table that doesn't call you back is one nightstand.
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- Only you Can Prevent Forest Fires (Expressions)
- Once there was a town whose florist shop was a front for the Mafia. One day a pair of monks opened their own flower shop, offering better prices and service. They were good and pious men and resisted all attempts to bribe and intimidate them. Finally, the Mafiosi had to call in the specialist. Hugh Jass was expensive, but his powerful, noxious flatulence killed the flowers, ignited and burned down the shop, and drove the good monks away. This goes to show that only Hugh can put out florist friars.
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- Open Road (One-Liners)
- No punster wants to walk the no-pun road, which is sad and lonely.
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- Open Windows (Jokes)
- Why do astronauts' computers use the Linux operating system? You can't open Windows in space.
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- Opened (Two-Liners)
- I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We opened for The Doors.
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- Openly (Tom Swifties)
- "The door's ajar," said Tom openly.
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- Opera Maven (Book Titles)
- Season Tickets: Oprah Mavenl
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- Operatic Tenor (Book Titles)
- Singin' and Shakin': Oprah Tic Tenorl
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- Operating (One-Liners)
- If nothing else, a surgeon's computer needs an operating system.
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- Operational (One-Liners)
- When a hospital is out of commission due to a power failure, it's non-operational.
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- Operator (One-Liners)
- During a personnel crisis at the hospital, a surgeon found herself at the telephone switchboard because she was an operator.
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- Opinion (Two-Liners)
- Apparently, crows have 16 pinion feathers and ravens have 17. So the difference between the two is a matter of a pinion.
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- Optic Mist (Tom Swifties)
- "My glasses are fogged up," said Tom optimistically.
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- Or Will Ya (Canada)
- Will ya do dis Orillia do dat?
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- Oratorio (Music)
- Any song about glowing Conservative cookies would have to be an aura-toreo.
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- Ora-Toro (Tom Swifties)
- "That bull has real stage presence," said Tom oratorically.
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- Orbit (1) (Astronomy)
- The day after the famous astronomer died, his orbit-uary appeared in the newspapers.
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- Orbit (2) (Astronomy)
- Why did the astronomer yell when he was rowing? Because his oar bit him.
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- Orchestra (Animals)
- What do you call a pod of musical whales? An orcastra.
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- Orchestral (Birds)
- A small falcon rowing a boat is musical because it is oar-kestrel.
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- Order (Military)
- If I were an Army Drill Instructor, I could shout "Descending! That's an order!".
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- Order A Round (Expressions)
- A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
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- Ore Gone (USA)
- A good reason for a mine to close: Oregon.
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- Organ (Religion)
- When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.
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- Organ Donation (Book Titles)
- The Gift of Life: Morgan Donation
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- Organic (One-Liners)
- Some people like Star Wars food: Organaic.
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- Orgasm (One-Liners)
- Remember folks, it isn't a yawn, it's a bore-gasm!
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- Orient (Misc)
- I hate taking the subway. It always takes a while to Orient myself after I get off.
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- Ork Knees (Europe: United Kingdom)
- The most important leg joints of orcs are Orkneys.
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- Ornithology (Book Titles)
- The Bird Collection: Arnie Thologiei
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- Ostenatious (Book Titles)
- Glitz and Bling: Austin Tay-Shuss
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- Ought to (Animals)
- You really otter go and see the zoo sometime.
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- Ought to Do It (Book Titles)
- I Must Fix the Car!: Otto Doit
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- Ouija Board (Book Titles)
- Tabletop Occultism: Luigi Board
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- Our Cake (Tom Swifties)
- "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
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- Our Guile (Europe: United Kingdom)
- We will have to use all our cunning and all Argyll to get around the Scottish tax laws.
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- Our Mania (Europe)
- We are the Caucasus Maniac Society. Armenia for today is puns.
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- Our Tree (Anatomy)
- "This is my tree!" "No way! This is artery!"
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- Out of My Way (Book Titles)
- Ambulance Driving: Adam MuhwayJG
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- Out of Order (Expressions)
- A new card deck gets broken when it's shuffled because then it's out of order.
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- Out of Sight (Book Titles: Good)
- He Disappeared!: Otto Sight
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- Out of Your Head (Expressions)
- A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” he says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
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- Out Standing (One-Liners)
- An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.
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- Outing (One-Liners)
- An excursion during Gay Pride Week probably shouldn't be called an outing.
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- Outlaw (Grains)
- Would a cereal killer be called an oatlaw?
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- Outlaws (One-Liners)
- If marriage becomes illegal, only outlaws will have in-laws.
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- Out-Spoken (Tom Swifties)
- "I lost the debate because I ran out of things to say," said Tom outspokenly.
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- Ouzo (Ghosts)
- Do Greek ghosts like to drink Bouzo?
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- Over (1) (Astronomy)
- My pet dog got run nova by a truck yesterday.
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- Over (2) (Europe: United Kingdom)
- "I dropped my Geography textbook!" "Well, bend Dover and pick it up!"
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- Over On (Astronomy)
- "Where did you put the book?" "Oberon the table there."
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- Over the Edge (Expressions)
- Covid-19 has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that all the social distancing measures will push people over the edge.
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- Overall (Clothing)
- "To sum it up, clothing sales have shown an overall increase."
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- Over-Bear [children] (Tom Swifties)
- "I have too many children," said Mary overbearingly.
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- Overly (Toronto)
- This test is not fair! The questions are Overlea difficult!
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- Overreact (Two-Liners)
- Her: "I have ovaries." Him: "Is that why you ovary act?"
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- Overtime (Sports)
- Do players get time and a half if a game goes into overtime?
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- Owen Sound (Canada)
- "I have a tape of Owen and myself singing. I sound great." "Yes, but how does Owen Sound?"
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- Owing (Names)
- This man is likely to get into debt: Owen.
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- Owing Cash (Book Titles: Good)
- Money Management: Owen Casho
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- Oy-Ster (One-Liners)
- If young people are referred to as youngsters and older people are sometimes called oldsters, why aren't Yiddish people called oysters?
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- Oz Good (Toronto)
- What was Dorothy's opinion of the place where she met the Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion? "Osgoode."
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